<p>My daughter is getting married too. In London. But she’s going to live there with her British beau so that makes sense. She knows I have no $$ to give her so they’re going to pay for it themselves. So far the groom has nixed DIY invitations becuase he wants “posh” invitations. He also wants traditional fruitcake. They are planning a church wedding becuase they are religious but that comes with a larger pricetag than I thought it would. I suggested a park wedding but she said since all parks in London are tourist destinations they are very pricey and church is the way to go. She’s hoping to save on catering by having finding an Indian restaurant to make the dishes and then doing a buffet. Sounds like a plan to me. There will be vegans in attendance. She also said she may make vegan cupcakes (?). And DIY favors - or skip the favors. Since neither of them drink, no alcohol will be served - that should save a bundle. But I think we all agree on professional photography, the key is to find someone not too terribly expensive. The hard part is planning this thing from here with the groom there. I think she is planning to rely on groom’s mother quite a bit to help with planning. So far the bride’s side of the guestlist totals 28 including plus ones, the groom’s is even smaller. </p>
<p>“If someone was passing Lindor “truffles” off as my work, I would NOT be happy.”</p>
<p>I suspect most people would be fine with a Lindor “truffle” if they got it from the office receptionist’s candy jar (i.e. - did not pay the premium price). However, the vast majority of people expects premium quality from a premium chocolatier… And when they get served Lindors as if the “truffles” were made by the chocolatier’s shop, they would wrinkle their nose and think that they would never go back to that shop. Disclaimer - I am a cake and chocolate snob, because I was spoiled by the creations (in moderation! 
) from the local Euro bakeries.</p>
<p>bev - I would let mob work it out since it sounds like the 21 extra people are on her list.</p>
<p>Precisely, Bunsen. I should have put quotation marks around the “inedible glop” in the first place, because I was speaking from the POV of scratch bakers who pride themselves on what they do and have professional reputations to uphold. If they produce a delicious all-butter cake split into 4 layers per level, brushed with Framboise syrup (real Framboise at $40 per bottle, not the fake red stuff), filled with raspberry buttercream–real, silky buttercream with egg yolks, not confectioner’s sugar and shortening-- made with real raspberry puree, covered with homemade lemon-juice flavored fondant, decorated with real pink roses and ribbons, and the guests are all served a Shop and Save sheetcake with marshmallow “creme” icing with the implication that it is <em>their</em> work…would any of you expect them to be happy about it? There’s nothing wrong with sheetcake, per se. They can be delicious.</p>
<p>The former, BTW, was the first wedding cake I made. It was a wedding gift to the couple. I used fondant because they wanted it to match a bisque music box they bought as a topper. It also had little sugar-painted doves flying in with ribbons i their beaks, to match the music box. It was really very pretty. (And I must add that the fondant in question was tender and thin and not excessively sweet, thanks to the lemon juice.)</p>
<p>So yeah, when it comes to food and chocolate and cakes, call me a snob. I happily embrace it. :-SS </p>
<p>If she wants to have a vegan dessert, making her own is the way to go unless there are only a couple of vegans. I have a vegan cake and it costs more than twice a traditional expensive wedding cake, though I cant attest to prices in London. We have fewer than 5 gluten-free guests so I will get gluten free cupcakes from a bakery for them since the cost is reasonable for so few, if I had a lot more to do and I had the skill I would make my own in a heartbeat. </p>
<p>My venue can house 100-140. We invited 145, 150 including vendors. (Our list had like 60 before my parents got their hands on it.) With our guest list the RSVPs are going to work out weird… we could end up with 70 and we could end up with 135-140. The tables don’t all fit in the room as nicely as I would like past 110 or so, so if we end up with more than about 120 I might faint. And if we have fewer than 100, they will move us to a different room and that would NOT make me happy either. If I had that many extra I’d be sweating bullets, bevhills. Is the MOB going to deal with it? Now that I am planning a wedding I have a new appreciation for just how unreasonable some people can be. </p>
<p>Maybe I can come up with a way to share a few photos in May when the time comes. :)</p>
<p>Ellebud, I cannot believe that they can’t cut some people from their list. I bet they wouldn’t have a hard time doing so if THEY were paying for it!</p>
<p>Gawd, Consolation, sounds divine and makes me want cake. Now. You’ve already got me thinking truffles.</p>
<p>Jym, the inedible came first. We didn’t just judge it on the square shape, but the taste. Sorry for the confusion- yours sounds delightful.</p>
<p>PhotoOp and Consolation: True they would be able to cut it down. Yesterday mob said (hopefully) that we should pray for a few refusals. Personally I pray for God’s intervention on a few things: and this isn’t one of those things. </p>
<p>One of the “reasons” that mob thinks we will have regrets? This is not a kosher venue. And they don’t eat at non kosher venues. </p>
<p>One thing that I can/will add is that in this area we (the Ellebuds) are truly in a minority of the small wedding concept. We will be going to another destination soon…(two actually). Five hundred guests. No I’m not kidding.<br>
The other destination wedding hosts are from the mid west. Not so many people. </p>
<p>The only “dangerous” place that I am going to is the mantra "oh, it’s just another 15 per table/person/what will it matter? Dangerous thinking.</p>
<p>So any suggestions of how to approach the groom’s family to reduce their invites since they aren’t paying??? I have asked politely several times and they keep insisting they can’t cut any more family. They are nice people but if everyone attends they will be a few thousands of dollars over what we are willing to pay.</p>
<p>What does the groom say? My mom and I are paying for my wedding ourselves without any contribution from my fiance’s family. If they were causing problems for me I would tell my fiance to deal with it with his mom. His mom and I have a great relationship and I love her very much, but it is not my place or my mom’s place to handle problems with her, it’s his.</p>
<p>As it is, that is kind of where we stand. We aren’t having guest list issues but our families are disagreeing about something else, so I’ve told fiance he needs to talk to his mom and smooth it out. It’s not my or my mother’s business, imo. We are each responsible for dealing with our own parents.</p>
<p>How wrong is it to tell MOB that you will be broadcasting the wedding to the people standing outside the venue (dut to venue limits) via SKYPE so to bring their ipads?</p>
<p>Ema is right–groom is the only one who can handle this with a hope of avoiding hurt feelings. He has to tell his family that those paying for the wedding set its size–are they volunteering to shoulder the cost of the extra guests? </p>
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<p>Post of the day! :)) </p>
<p>Ellebud, If she has guests who are so fanatical about keeping kosher that they won’t eat at non-kosher venues even if it the food is a strictly dairy or meat meal, then I would suggest she send each party a nice note explaining that she would love to invite them to her D’s wedding but knows that they would not be able to eat there, and there is nothing she can do about the venue because of your intransigence. 
How many people is this, one wonders?</p>
<p>Ema, I think you are definitely on the right track about having your SO deal with his own parents.</p>
<p>Bravo! Ema</p>
<p>MOB wanted to bring in what my friend calls the plastic dinner. It is a completely kosher dinner with napkins and utensils and wine plastic glasses. BUT it will be a meat dinner…we ordered a vegetarian/fish options…which will have milk in it. Ergo…not kosher. </p>
<p>I admit that we are secular Jews…albeit definitely Jewish. My family (both sides) came to the US and ordered lobster. But I respect their traditions I wish that they understood ours.</p>
<p>If they bring in these “plastic dinners”–and doesn’t THAT sound appetizing!–complete with their own utensils, what does it matter that the other dinners are having a fish/dairy meal? It doesn’t make any difference what other people are eating, does it?</p>
<p>Or did you veto the plastic meal in general?</p>
<p>I absolutely did not veto the plastic. I never would. IOur whole menu choices was chosen for the crowd…vegetarian and nonshellfish. The cake is delicious and gluten free. From what I understand some of our guests (their side) can’t or won’t eat at any venue that isn’t kosher. </p>
<p>Consolation - I have known people (thankfully, not relatives) who would not eat anything at a non-kosher venue unless it was one of those specifically-wrapped-plastic-meals that they could be assured was kosher. But as long as they had their food, it didn’t seem to matter to them what other people ate. </p>
<p>These are plastic-wrapped-meals with all the utensils, etc. included - think of it almost like an airline meal that gets opened on the spot. </p>
<p>?It is a completely kosher dinner with napkins and utensils and wine plastic glasses. BUT it will be a meat dinner…we ordered a vegetarian/fish options…which will have milk in it. Ergo…not kosher.?</p>
<p>I’m unclear. The pre-wrapped kosher dinners with the napkins and utensils and so forth that we’re talking about ARE kosher. They don’t mix meat and milk in them; that sort of negates the whole point of the endeavor. Can you clarify?</p>
<p>“Having hung out on a cake/confection discussion board in the past, I know that one thing that drives good bakers nuts is when people order the small showy cake from them, but purchase the sheet cakes they actually serve from a big box store or supermarket. The implication to the guests is that this inedible glop was made by THEM, which they consider to be a major blow to their reputation.”</p>
<p>What might also drive these good bakers nuts is the realization that for a lot of people, there’s really not the amazing-level-of-taste-difference that they want to believe there is. </p>