<p>Okay, so I’ve got a couple friends who I’ve been going to parties with a lot. And at those parties, I’ve been drinking to the point of drunkenness or even blacking out and vomiting. I also smoke a lot. Today I sort of had a revelation and have decided to quit drinking and smoking. I have fun while I’m doing it but I feel guilty and/or awful after.</p>
<p>Thing is, my friends are always egging me on to go with them to these parties and I feel bad saying “no.” I don’t want to seem like a dick. For example, today there was a Rock Band night at the school’s student lounge and there were actually quite a few people there. I was having quite a bit of fun, but when I told my friends I didn’t wanna go they seemed kinda miffed.</p>
<p>What’s the best way to deal with this? I don’t want to lose my friends, but I also don’t want to keep drinking a lot or smoking. I know I should “just have more self control” but for me, it’s hard to keep it to one or two beers when everybody’s pounding them away. Not to mention there’s a family history of alcohol addiction, so I’d rather not be drinking tons of alcohol. As for the smokes, I’m done with polluting my lungs. If others want to smoke I don’t care, but I don’t want to puff on cigarettes anymore.</p>
<p>i would say i party a lot and i don’t think i ever fail to outdrink my friends so I would not be in the same situation. I don’t feel pressured by them. </p>
<p>but your reasons for quitting seem reasonable. I feel like slowing down for my health too, and if you tell them that I’m sure they would understand, especially with your family history. </p>
<p>as much as i would like to say it wouldnt, you will probably be alienated by your friends who go out a lot if you choose to stay in every night of the week.</p>
<p>I mean, I wouldn’t mind going out if “going out” didn’t mean getting ****faced. It’s not very fun to watch other people drunk out of their minds, y’know?</p>
<p>I’d still be going to other stuff though. Movies, concerts, etc.</p>
<p>Change social environments. I’m not and have never been a “party animal”, so everyone knew I’d go to concerts, clubbing or whataver but I would not drink much.</p>
<p>Im your position, I would have a casual conversation with your party-goers friends to announce something like “my alcohol career is over, but I still like you”. Of course, some ppl live or are currently living only to party, pass out, smoke (everything) like a coal plant and get laid with strangers and awake in unkknown places. These kind of friend you’ll definitivelly lose. However, you’ll probably be able to keep most of your friends who, despite partying hard, usually appreciate to have friend with whom they can do less phyisically destructive activities.</p>
<p>I myself had a lot of friends in this profile: people who used to exaggerate their boundaries in alcohol and cigarrettes but still apreciated to go to movie theathers, or to travel here and there to a chilling out outdoor spot.</p>
<p>Does the “I don’t want alcoholism” justification not work? At any rate, you seemed so enthusiastic about the partying scene that I’d never figure you would suddenly stop. Considering your circumstances, though, I’m glad you did.</p>
<p>Good for you. Stick to this, no matter what it takes. If I were you I would just come right out and tell your friends that you are quitting drinking and smoking for your health. If I were you I think I would tell them I would not be able to handle the temptation at a party rather than say I don’t want to be around drunk people, even though it’s true, because I am guessing that might be less likely to offend harder partiers. And then I am guessing your best bet is to come up with alternatives yourself and invite them-- they are going to continue doing what they’ve been doing, so if you still want to be friends you will have to contribute to providing this alternative social situation. You may see them less often if they aren’t willing to stop partying, but you’ll make new friends and I doubt they’ll ditch you all together if you still make an effort to see them outside of parties.</p>
<p>lol become mature and you can drink. I’ve blacked out very few times and when i hear of things i do, it makes me realize how bad blacking out can be. Nothing wrong with responsible drinking. You just have to realize how much you can handle and when to stop.</p>
<p>JKpoker2, a think OP has taken an indeed very mature action. If one used to drink heavily, is not that simple shifting to a “social drinking” pattern, especially when you are surrounded by strong peer pressure. OP is being very smart, indeed.</p>
<p>As for offering to be designated driver, that can work well. I scored a lot of perks and free tickets when offering to give my friends (in and off campus) a ride to some club nights and parties where they made a big deal to drink on, and I didn’t :)</p>
<p>If their your real friends, they wouldn’t–or shouldn’t–be opposed to making some adjustments for you, particularly when you have serious concerns for your health.</p>
<p>Unless all you and your friends do is smoke and drink, then just hang out with them when they aren’t smoking and drinking…surely you have something else in common with them?</p>
<p>okay, well i think some of these posts are unrealistic with their whole ‘get new friends’ point. i mean, it’s not that easy to find a whole new group of people to hang out with out a regular basis, lol.
in any case, next time, tell them that u just don’t feel like it & be REALLY adamant about it. seriously, don’t let them take no for an answer. they’ll stop caring eventually [u know, hopefully]. also, it might be a good idea to try to be the life of the party;that way, no one will be able to tell you’re NOT drunk
haha, hope this helps, AT ALL.</p>
<p>Don’t tell them anything. If they offer, politely decline. There is no need to explain yourself. And if anything, you should thank them if they egg you on. The physical symptoms of withdrawal will be much worse than any social pressure could be, so if anything they will be building up your tolerance to what you’ll eventually face.
By the way, if you are all dramatic about this (like you are in this post) you will offend them. I know that is not what you are trying to do but it is how you will come across.</p>
