<p>I have enrollment at two different colleges as an incoming freshmen - the one that I want and another that my parents wanted. My parents wanted me to go to a dual degree program - it’s a BS/DO deal that basically means that I was accepted into an osteopathic medical school. It’s a big deal.</p>
<p>And it would be awesome if I wanted to be a doctor. But I don’t - at all. I hate science and the undergraduate phase of the program is at a mediocre school. My parents forced me to apply to the program and BS my way through two interviews and one very well written, but very false essay describing my intense motivation to be a doctor.</p>
<p>Now, how am I supposed to break it to them that this wasn’t my desire at all? I have a deposit at the school already and the school is under the impression I’ll show up for the first day of school. I already have a cousin enrolled in the program and younger ones that want to go into this program. I don’t want to hurt my older cousin’s reputation and damage the chances of my younger cousins into getting into the program. How do I deflect this from them? Will the school take it personally? I’m more concerned because this is a very particular program.</p>
<p>Believe me, I feel very remorseful that a person who really wanted to get in could have taken my spot. I was very weak and I should have been more firm and assertive on national candidate reply date… but now I need a way out of this, but I need to handle this right.</p>
<p>You definitly got youself into a big knot, thats for sure. If I were you I would start by being upfront and honest with your parents, stay firm to what you are actually feeling about the program-and dont back off.</p>
<p>Don’t let the school you want to go to catch wind that you double-deposited. They can revoke your offer of admission.</p>
<p>I do know that sometimes the military is understanding that driving parents cannot sometimes be rationally resisted - particularly if one’s religious convictions teach that God Almighty ordains one’s parents to be the authority and one is to submit to them, like it was in my case. I had a similar situation involving a lie on my AFROTC scholarship application and although I was penalized when I came back and told the truth (lost one semester of scholarship entitlements), I was allowed to remain in the program and such…</p>
<p>But I was truthful up front - I told them as soon as I was out of my parents house… So my advice is to be honest with the school you don’t want to attend ASAP. If you’re 100% sure I wouldn’t even run it by your parents. I say that because ultimately, when it comes to college and marriage and one’s career - YOU’RE the one who’s going to be living your life and is going to be going to school, getting married and working. You have your best interests at heart and your parents may have their own reputation and perception at stake and/or want to live vicariously through their children.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice. But my parents have grudgingly accepted my choice already. My parents know I’m going to withdraw but I just want to handle my withdrawal with minimal damage to my relative’s future prospects in that program. How should I do this? I don’t think I should say my parents pushed me into it, because that would reflect poorly on my family in general. I don’t know what excuses I can make up. I don’t know if they’ll take even that I just changed my mind in the middle of July. Do you think the school will take it too personally?</p>
<p>You don’t have to make up any excuses. This happens all the time, and they don’t take it personally. Just send a simple letter saying something like, </p>
<p>"I find that I am unable to attend your program next year. Please consider this letter as an official withdrawal. If there is anything else I need to do to finalize my withdrawal, please let me know as soon as possible.</p>