<p>Not a fan and was most relieved when my son declared he thought they were stupid and wanted no part of them. We had never discussed it prior to his applying for college.</p>
<p>It seems a lot of folks who think Greek life is “stupid” have never experienced it. Maybe it IS stupid, but how do you know? The reality of Greek life doesn’t look like TV shows or movies, any more than the reality of high school looks like Pretty in Pink or Boy Meets World.</p>
<p>S had zero interest in frats and made no effort to educate himself about them. But a semester after a couple of his friends had pledged, their frat offered him a bid. He was going to say no, but at the last minute said, “Maybe I should find out what I’m saying ‘no’ to.” So he went to the house and talked to a few brothers who told him he could go thru the 3 week pledge period, change his mind and not become a brother with no financial obligation or hard feelings. So he decided to try it. He ended up loving it. It’s given him leadership positions and experience, and TracyA’s point about post-college networking potential shouldn’t be overlooked.</p>
<p>D wants to join a sorority, but went to the “pre-recruitment meeting” and afterward on the phone she said it made her want to jump off a balcony and land on her head. They were so “rah-rah” and perky it made her gag. But she knows some of these girls, and she said in “real life” they’re “chill.” She still plans to try it, because she wants to expand her network of girl friends. D has a hard time maintaining friendships with girls, she just gets along better with guys. She figures joining a sorority will force her to learn how to work cooperatively with girls.</p>
<p>D has a friend who went thru recruitment, pledged for a few weeks, then de-pledged. She didn’t think it was stupid, she just decided she found other groups she enjoyed more, and she didn’t have enough time to do everything. But at least she made an informed decision.</p>
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<p>How is that any different than anything else? What about other college activities such as sports teams/theater productions/student government/newspaper staffs, etc. Most of these are selective and do not open their doors to all.</p>
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<p>I agree.</p>
<p>I was never a fan myself, but I left it up to my kids to decide what was best for them. My S went through the whole rush/pledge process until the final dinner and then decided the whole group thing wasn’t for her. My S waited till his sophomore year to join a fraternity. He seems to really enjoy it. He’s more “social” than my D.</p>
<p>My son feels crack is stupid and hasn’t experienced it to come to that conclusion. He made an informed decision based on what he’s heard and read about it and the people who partake.</p>
<p>One need not participate in something in order to make an informed judgment that it’s not for them and is stupid.</p>
<p>My S is a loner. He didn’t socialize much in HS and is even now a loner. He joined a frat in college and I think it was a great experience for him. I wish he could be in his frat house for life.</p>
<p>Both of my D’s went to strong greek schools but remained independent. They could establish friends outside of sororities and didn’t need to be judged or accepted.</p>
<p>Different strokes…</p>
<p>Denise515 - wow. Comparing Greek life to crack. Someone has a huge chip on their shoulder. Glad to know you and your kids are superior enough to know that it’s “stupid” without ever investigating. I’ll be sure to tell that to my son, who is living in very large suite in his house for less than he’d pay for a dorm room, and whose frat has a higher average GPA than the all-male average for his campus. (The lower cost of the meal plan and room more than cover the cost of his frat dues). Maybe he should return the scholarship money he got for books from his Greek national’s organization based on his GPA. And stop doing the philanthropy - the haunted house fundraiser, the holiday party at the Boys and Girls club, the pancake breakfast fundraiser, the Barbeque fundraiser… all for local childrens’ charities. Because his frat is clearly “stupid.” Thank you for enlightening us.</p>
<p>FWIW, I never went thru rush or had any interest in a sorority. Had plenty of friends who did. They were happy, I was happy.</p>
<p>I agree morismm… different strokes.</p>
<p>Ditto, Lafalum. I was wondering if I was the only parent of a frat/sorority member who was ticked off.</p>
<p>Something that has been said repeatedly when this topic comes up, but that seems to elude some of those with no personal experience of a house, is that the Greek scene varies significantly from campus to campus and from house to house.</p>
<p>I’d like to know some of the frats that you parents or kids were/are involved with. </p>
<p>I made an effort this year to try and join a frat, went to several houses’ open house, and could not believe that people actually enjoying doing this. I go to a top 40 university, and you can tell that the kids in the frats are people who were pushed by their parents into going there. I looked on the main page websites and see the frats talking about things like honor, respect, academics etc etc, but all the frats here don’t represent that at all. It’s all drinking, it’s all raging, it’s all partying. You can tell who the frat boys are just by talking to them: they have a “better than you” attitude, brag about their throwing up 6 times in one night, and various other non-important things. </p>
<p>Again, I’d love to be apart of a frat, but for the most part from what I’ve all seen, it’s just a few boys trying to extend their childlike behavior for just a liiiiiittle bit longer.</p>
<p>Edit: What I’m saying is just for frats. The sororities here are much more tame, and do seem to embrace the values they try say they do. Not to say they don’t party hardy, but they also seem genuinely happier and more mature.</p>
<p>Consolation - absolutely. There are some frats that S can’t stand, in part because they give the others a bad name. Painting all Greek organizations with the same brush is like painting all college students with the same brush.</p>
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Sorry, wrong.
College admissions are based on actual qualifications that are assessed by qualified professionals, not a bunch of teenagers assessing another bunch of teenagers based on
arbitrary social factors.</p>
<p>College should be about meeting new people, not creating barriers.</p>
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Big difference. These activities require an actual competency in order to participate, fraternities do not.
Quote:</p>
<p>^^^ That’s why D wants to join a sorority - a structured way to meet and really get to know more girls. There’s no rule that says she can ONLY be friends with those girls.</p>
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<p>Did I miss a memo?</p>
<p>^^^haha old fort… SO true.</p>
<p>My son had no interest in joining a frat his first year of college. He always seemed to associate them with drinking, out of control partying and never studying. Then, a new frat came to his campus. He met with the national office leadership four times before calling home and saying that he would like to join. It has been a great experience for him. He’s met all kinds of nice young men who put academics first. They do things in the community. So far, it’s been a very good experience.</p>
<p>My son was so allergic to the idea of frats that he refused to apply to Princeton because of the eating clubs and refused to consider Cornell because he saw a couple of frat houses when we were driving around.</p>
<p>I told him that the guys I knew at an MIT frat were nothing like the stereotype, but he apparently didn’t believe me. :)</p>
<p>I very much doubt that he would have joined a frat at almost any other school, but his has a uniquely open scene, and his particular house is racially and socially diverse, a bit off-beat, and not associated with a varsity team or a destination for i-banker wannabes.</p>
<p>So far it has encouraged him to take responsibility in areas that he would never have experienced on his own. (Organizing formal dinner dances, for example!) As a kid who was never drawn to things like student government and clubs, it provides him with experience working with an organization. It provides him with a home base, a good thing for an introverted kid on a campus without a residential college system that also has an unusual schedule that means kids are off-campus some terms. Yeah, they give parties–at which everyone on campus is welcome, Everyone. Affiliated or not. What a crime.</p>
<p>The point was not a comparison of geek to crack. The point was a person does not need to be directly involved with an activity to make the point that the activity or the people who partake of it are not the type of person one wants to associate with.</p>
<p>Look, if it were such a great inclusive activity then more kids would be involved. As it is, I think most see whole thing as it as elitist cliques.</p>
<p>@consolation: sounds great, so why exclude any kids from this great experience who want to join?</p>
<p>Most kids are not excluded if they want the experience. As people have said, it’s not for everyone, so not everyone rush, and there is nothing wrong with that.</p>
<p>Who says that they exclude? Rush takes place sophomore year. Kids have had a full year to visit houses, all of which are open to all students for parties, and get to know the members. Usually this leads to a process of self-selection. They rush at a house where they feel comfortable. Something over 60% of eligible students on his campus are affiliated, so there seems to be a place for just about anyone who wants to join.</p>
<p>At S’s house there are no letters of recommendation, no looking for particular social background, no racial barriers. It seems to be mostly a matter of having gotten to know the membership. Some houses are much more competitive, and are looking for guys who will enhance their prestige. S’s does not. He wouldn’t have joined one of those houses and didn’t visit them with an eye to rush.</p>
<p>Denise, you continue to miss the point that it does vary. Yes, there are campuses and houses where the Greek scene is elitist cliques. And there are those where it is not.</p>