<p>By followers, the world’s three largest religions are Christianity and it’s many sects, Islam and it’s many sects and Hinduism and it’s many sects.</p>
<p>The three major video game console makers: Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony.</p>
<p>Like religion, video game companies have “followers” of varying degrees of devotion. A guy who plays his Wii once a week might be the equivalent of a Christian who only goes to church on Easter and Christmas, whereas a guy who writes fan fiction that consists of video game characters having sex would be the videogame equivalent of those people who kill abortion doctors.</p>
<p>Like religion, the video game companies are engaged in a constant battle to win over followers. Microsoft and Sony, are engaged in a never ending battle to one up each other with fancy perks like new downloadable content or the latest video game, kind of like how Christianity and Islam attract new followers with fancy perks. Christians have that whole forgiveness thing with Jesus and hot Catholic school girl uniforms while Muslims have awesome food and 72 Virgins. Nintendo on the other hand completely ignores the MS-Sony battle and chooses to win over followers from a completely different demographic - I guess they’d be like Hinduism.</p>
<p>And then of course, there are minor religions and consoles all over the world. The average PC gamer for instance, on average, is older, has a higher income and more educated than the average console gamer, yet makes up a relatively small portion of the market and is largely ignored by the media…hey, that sounds like an atheist!</p>
<p>Then there are the truely crazy people who play video games on old consoles like the Sega Genesis or the Atari 2600, I guess you would have to lump these people in with pagans.</p>
<p>The truely lucky ones out there who own multiple consoles are the equivalent of agnostics.</p>
<p>But what about the Jews? What video game company would represent the Jews? Well, I would have to say Sega. Sega, like the Jews, was a small company that rose to power and challenged the greatest empire of it’s time - Nintendo, and thrived for a while. But then, like the Jews, in the face of constant pressure from more powerful factions (Sony and Microsoft) Sega had to abandon its land of Israel - I mean Dreamcast, and now is wandering the vast videogame desert as a developer for all three (four if you include the PC) consoles. The video game equivalent of Israel then is the country of Grand Theft Auto. A series that has sold gangbusters for every console it has appeared on and is the center of many attempts by MS and Sony to get exclusive rights. Nintendo in it’s infinite Hindu wisdom, doesn’t care however, they’re too busy making games that you control by moving your body.</p>
<p>Famous Events in Religious History and their Video Game Analogies</p>
<p>The Birth of Religion - Pong
The Rise of the Roman Empire - Atari.
The Fall of the Roman Empire - The North American Video Game Crash of 1983</p>
<p>Asia becomes as the Center of Civlization as the rest of the world plunges into the Dark Age - Nintendo releasing the NES in 1985</p>
<p>The Rest of the World Slowly Recovers - Sega releasing the Genesis in 1989.</p>
<p>The Great Schism - Sony and Nintendo part ways as their plans to co-develop a CD based console (it would eventually become the Playstation 1) falls through.</p>
<p>The Crusades - Sony enters the fray becomes the dominant player as Nintendo goes into several generations of decline and Sega almost disappears off the face of the map, before coming with a last gasp.</p>
<p>9/11 (happens in 2001 coincedentially) - Microsoft, worried that Sony’s rapid expansion will cut into it’s own video game division makes a grand entrance into the industry and in the process effectively destroys Sega.</p>
<p>The Second Gulf War - Sony declares an early victory when it’s Playstation 2 wipes the floor with Nintendo’s Gamecube and the Xbox. Unable to keep the peace however, the Playstation 3 launch is a disaster and Sony loses billions in the debacle.</p>