How do the world's major religions stack up vs the world's major video game consoles?

<p>By followers, the world's three largest religions are Christianity and it's many sects, Islam and it's many sects and Hinduism and it's many sects.</p>

<p>The three major video game console makers: Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony.</p>

<p>Like religion, video game companies have "followers" of varying degrees of devotion. A guy who plays his Wii once a week might be the equivalent of a Christian who only goes to church on Easter and Christmas, whereas a guy who writes fan fiction that consists of video game characters having sex would be the videogame equivalent of those people who kill abortion doctors.</p>

<p>Like religion, the video game companies are engaged in a constant battle to win over followers. Microsoft and Sony, are engaged in a never ending battle to one up each other with fancy perks like new downloadable content or the latest video game, kind of like how Christianity and Islam attract new followers with fancy perks. Christians have that whole forgiveness thing with Jesus and hot Catholic school girl uniforms while Muslims have awesome food and 72 Virgins. Nintendo on the other hand completely ignores the MS-Sony battle and chooses to win over followers from a completely different demographic - I guess they'd be like Hinduism.</p>

<p>And then of course, there are minor religions and consoles all over the world. The average PC gamer for instance, on average, is older, has a higher income and more educated than the average console gamer, yet makes up a relatively small portion of the market and is largely ignored by the media...hey, that sounds like an atheist!</p>

<p>Then there are the truely crazy people who play video games on old consoles like the Sega Genesis or the Atari 2600, I guess you would have to lump these people in with pagans.</p>

<p>The truely lucky ones out there who own multiple consoles are the equivalent of agnostics.</p>

<p>But what about the Jews? What video game company would represent the Jews? Well, I would have to say Sega. Sega, like the Jews, was a small company that rose to power and challenged the greatest empire of it's time - Nintendo, and thrived for a while. But then, like the Jews, in the face of constant pressure from more powerful factions (Sony and Microsoft) Sega had to abandon its land of Israel - I mean Dreamcast, and now is wandering the vast videogame desert as a developer for all three (four if you include the PC) consoles. The video game equivalent of Israel then is the country of Grand Theft Auto. A series that has sold gangbusters for every console it has appeared on and is the center of many attempts by MS and Sony to get exclusive rights. Nintendo in it's infinite Hindu wisdom, doesn't care however, they're too busy making games that you control by moving your body.</p>

<p>Famous Events in Religious History and their Video Game Analogies</p>

<p>The Birth of Religion - Pong
The Rise of the Roman Empire - Atari.
The Fall of the Roman Empire - The North American Video Game Crash of 1983</p>

<p>Asia becomes as the Center of Civlization as the rest of the world plunges into the Dark Age - Nintendo releasing the NES in 1985</p>

<p>The Rest of the World Slowly Recovers - Sega releasing the Genesis in 1989.</p>

<p>The Great Schism - Sony and Nintendo part ways as their plans to co-develop a CD based console (it would eventually become the Playstation 1) falls through.</p>

<p>The Crusades - Sony enters the fray becomes the dominant player as Nintendo goes into several generations of decline and Sega almost disappears off the face of the map, before coming with a last gasp.</p>

<p>9/11 (happens in 2001 coincedentially) - Microsoft, worried that Sony's rapid expansion will cut into it's own video game division makes a grand entrance into the industry and in the process effectively destroys Sega.</p>

<p>The Second Gulf War - Sony declares an early victory when it's Playstation 2 wipes the floor with Nintendo's Gamecube and the Xbox. Unable to keep the peace however, the Playstation 3 launch is a disaster and Sony loses billions in the debacle.</p>

<p>this should be someone's extended essay topic xD</p>

<p>haha that was great, especially the introduction paragraphs.</p>


<p>No wonder that, as the world's worst Catholic, I've never been interested in video games...clearly this explains it all...</p>

<p>If I design my own video games does it mean I'm in a cult?</p>

<p>No. Video games themselves are more like individual chapters/books in the overall Holy Book of each religion.</p>

<p>But...God doesn't exist.</p>

<p>let's see a major world religion run GTA4 and then we'll talk, aight</p>

is digipen (or w/e it's called) then the mecca of videogames?</p>

<p>LAWL that was probably the best cafe post ever</p>

<p>Well Mecca is a city where Muslims gather yearly to worship and stuff. The equivalent in video games would have to be the XBox Live service. Every day, Xbox players meet online and carry out their tasks of worship.</p>

<p>Well, ur last analogy kind of fits in...not quite...but still it works...u can rather replace mecca w/ a mosque (equivalent to church).</p>

<p>btw...interesting post..:D</p>

<p>Now that I think of it, there are actually many video game equivalents of Mecca where video gamers make their yearly hajj. </p>

<p>E3 - Electronic Entertainment Expo, no longer as large as it used to be. This is kind of like how Christianity's holiest sites (Jerusalem, Bethlehem and Vatican City) have all lost their influence over the years.</p>

<p>GDC - This is a conference where gaming's most influential prophets address their followers. Very similar to Mecca.</p>

<p>Tokyo Game Show - The show where Sony has unveiled it's last three products: PS3, PSP and PS2. Equivalent of the Pope's annual super mass.</p>

<p>That was brilliant.</p>

<p>I foresee the release of The Da Vinci Cheat Code.</p>

<p>I'm mainly a PC Gamer, but PC Gamers are no outsiders. Think of all the WoW players out there. The atheists would be those who still play those text based games.</p>

<p>Online gambling is Scientology. They suck you in, you think it's doing you good, it takes all your money but you're a mindless follower, you can't stop until someone pulls you out. If you do get pulled out, you're a harsh opponent of online gambling. Online gambling is suppressed by the U.S. Government. Scientology will be under investigation and taken down.</p>

<p>7 for the post, 9.3 for hewey's comment.</p>

<p>You know, I was thinking. If religion has a place in the school system, why not video games? That way, instead of having Johnny "learn" intelligent design, he can choose to go play Grand Theft Auto IV instead while the rest of his class learns how a magic cloud being poofed the universe into existence.</p>

<p>u mean hving a video games class? why don't u make a club video games tutorial club urself!? that'd be quite interesting.....I never heard of sumthing like that...but anywa.</p>

<p>You are quite amusing.</p>

<p>^hahaha..true dat.</p>