H and I will soon reach our 36th anniversary.
Because it is Feb.16th it has always been close to impossible to find a hotel or restaurant
that has not inflated their prices. Years ago we decided to celebrate on whatever date we decided
on later in the year. The night “of” we have a special dinner at home typically. We used to exchange
gifts and now just flowers/wine/chocolates. Occasionally we go to a really special restaurant.
It has occurred to us that many actually celebrate by going on trips and special parties and such.
We did celebrate our 25th by going to Cancun with our then HS S --so not romantic!
We are discussing what we want to do this year.
When I add up the money for a short trip in March to Carmel, CA. it is not bad
but then I think of the new flooring I really want this spring.
Traveling around Oregon is not an option due to the rain.
So do you celebrate and how do you celebrate?
Does it matter to you? Do you find it is important?
For us, I choose something and somewhere nice to go to or if we’re traveling when it’s around our anniversary, pick a nice restaurant and say we are celebrating there, even if the dates aren’t quite matching up perfectly. We don’t need more “stuff” at this point, but new flooring sounds like a good splurge for an anniversary to me.
The disadvantage of not starting a family until after 10 years of marriage is that our kids were still young when we celebrated our 25th and in college/ just out for our 35th. Not that we would want or expect a party. We travel anyway so no trips.
We just go out for a nice dinner…typically the weekend closest to it. Sometimes, it’s a great excuse to travel. We have done that 4 or 5 times. We never exchange gifts, although DH bought me a 10 year ring and 15 year ring. When we do go on a trip, he’ll buy me some beautiful piece of jewelry I love.
We love pouring through our cookbooks to come up with an elegant meal, shopping for the ingredients, and then spending the evening cooking/grilling with our favorite music in the background, sipping (lots of) cocktails and wine along the way, and then enjoying our feast by candlelight on our best china with lots of silver and crystal and linen. We generally reminisce about our relationship through the years and see where it goes from there…
We usually go out for a nice dinner on a nearby Saturday. No gifts (we don’t do gifts for birthdays or Christmas either, though we’ll say things like “I’m going to buy this cuz my birthday’s coming up!”). For instance, I said this winter, “I’ve never been to Paris; we’re going to Paris this summer because i will be turning 60.”
Anniversary(s) are low key. I say it plural, because we have a “got together” one coming up next week, and a wedding one in May.
After the kids graduated college we traveled to their location near our anniversary. For a couple of years, we ran a race with our daughter. Last year our son got married the week before.
But our first date was Valentine’s Day. That one I make reservations and we go out. We live in a tourist area so February is low season and not that busy. I just made reservations for a favorite steak house that has a special dinner the Friday before.
When the kids were still home, we’d go out to dinner on the Sat night closest to our anniversary. Since the kids have been gone, some years we go out to dinner, some years we cook a nice dinner at home. We exchanged gifts for maybe the first 15 years, and then decided not to.
Our most memorable anniversary was our 5th because we were in France. I don’t think we intentionally took that vacation around our anniversary, it just worked out that way. We were going to be in Lyons around the date, so DH wrote to Paul Bocuse to get a reservation at his restaurant, mentioning it was for our 5th anniversary. The meal was wonderful, and, for dessert, we were surprised with a cake made specially for us wishing us Happy 5th Anniversary (written in French, of course).
We were married Thanksgiving weekend so we have spent many anniversaries celebrating with the entire family. This year, for our 35th, my H and our kids made a lovely dinner party for about 25 of our friends at a local restaurant. The kids made menus with pictures from our wedding – it was very special. Sometimes he gets me gifts, sometimes I get him something…we’re not a very gift-giving family. Generally, though, it’s a personal, low key celebration with a nice dinner out and some reminiscing.
Nice, sometimes over the top dinner cooked by someone else. For many years we made a point of buying a piece of art or something else for the two of us. The walls are pretty full now as far as the art is concerned!
We like to travel in shoulder seasons and our anniversary fits in with that preference. With the kids up and out, we frequently celebrate while away and are generally in the enjoying experiences rather than accumulating things phase. The trip is often our gift to each other.
We do not do anything really, maybe dinner…last year was our 25th, I actually miscalculated and thought it was this year (Oops) We don’t really celebrate birthdays regularly either.
My husband was in Aruba (for work) for our 5th anniversary. He has been out of town on several of our anniversaries birthdays and holidays. I gave up trying to do things to celebrate long ago.
We don’t generally “celebrate” our anniversary. Neither H or I are “celebrating” people - not even for birthdays. No gifts and no travel for sure! Sounds silly probably but I find it SUPER awkward to go for the purpose of celebrating an occasion like this. Let’s go out to dinner but I don’t need it tied to anything! And I REALLY hate if H falls for the “get flowers” trap - I guess I just feel like “let’s recognize and be happy we are at ___ years, but if it’s just another good day in life, that’s enough for me!”
On our first anniversary, DH had surprised me by putting together all of our wedding pictures into beautiful album - including labeling all of the names of aunts/uncles/cousins/friends etc, and then a separate album of just our honeymoon. We had developed the pictures, but they had just been sitting in a box, as finishing up tasks like that is not my strong suit.
On our second anniversary, and every year thereafter, we’ve made the point of taking some time to look through the wedding and honeymoon albums - he was right that they don’t get looked at if we don’t make time for it. When our pups came along, we shared the memories with them, so they’d know what their great-grandpa looked like, and that grandma once had long, darker hair, etc.
These memories are precious, and as I get older, I appreciate the time we have shared with each other.
We usually go out for dinner but anniversaries are pretty low key for us. We’re not into having anniversary parties. We travel a lot and we go out to eat a lot so we celebrate but relatively quietly.
add us to the low key category. We don’t really do gifts for eachother any more even on birthdays/Christmas - anything we need we get when we need it and I have reached the “no more stuff” stage (actually getting rid of “stuff” would be the very best gift my hoarder husband could give me!). Anniversary is in the middle of tax season so I will usually be working late - a “happy anniversary” is about it.
Our anniversary is midsummer. It’s always a diffficult time to celebrate so we generally plan something for whenever we can. This year, our 25th, we were on a family vacation with our teen son on our anniversary, but we went to London in September to celebrate our anniversary.
Here’s my 2 cents worth of advice, coming from someone who has been married for 34 years now. We neglected our anniversary for way too many years, and exchanged cards and just went out to a local restaurant. For the last 2 years, we invested in 3 nights rental at a lower priced cabin (just the basics, no high end kitchen, etc.) and just chilled out together for a weekend.
No fancy outings, one really nice meal out, but just lounging around, strolling the local sights, and being together without distractions. It is easy to lose sight of the romance, and to take advantage of the long-term commitment of your spouse. I find that having that restorative time together to focus on just us has lasting benefits. Looking forward to that time, and even dreaming of adding a second weekend away each year, helps us stay connected through the daily grind. Yes, we have bills to pay and floors to replace, but making ourselves and our marriage a priority for three nights out of the year is vital to sustaining a long-term commitment.
You don’t need to drive far, and we vary our destinations based on where we find a great deal online. Just need to be far enough away to be able to shut your brain off from daily tasks and responsibilities.
we do a little trip together several times a year (just did one 2 weeks ago). Doesn’t need to be on an anniversary (for me anyway). We’ll have been married 34 years this year. And we won’t be doing anything big on the 35th next year. We really are not into the big celebration thing (I had a friend try to throw me a big surprise party for my 40th - many years ago - fortunately my husband, who knows me well (I HATE big gatherings) convinced her I would prefer something more intimate with just a few friends.
It’s really just down to individual preferences in the end I guess.
When we first got married, it was jewelry and a nice dinner. After kids, when we were in the grocery store I would show her the card I would have bought her had we been celebrating.
Up until our 25th. We hit the bank account pretty hard with a 10 day trip to Hawaii, nice hotels and nice restaurants. Next year, it’s back to the grocery store.
of not starting a family until after 10 years of marriage is that our kids were still young when we celebrated our 25th and in college/ just out for our 35th. Not that we would want or expect a party. We travel anyway so no trips.
