<p>I internalize stress but usually run on an evenly balanced keel so no major issues. In the past year however there have been more stressors and I can tell my stress is a lot higher than is healthy however I don’t feel stressed, I just know I am when I get more headaches, catch myself clenching my teeth, restless sleep, etc. Usually I do fine by talking through what my stresses are and usually I find they are all solveable/manageable and that lessens any stress. However in the past 6 months it has been stress that doesn’t have an immediate solution - i.e. we lost my 5 1/2 year old dog to cancer just a couple months after diagnosis late last year - that was what first raised my stress to new heights. Then just over a week ago I found out my job was being eliminated and as the primary breadwinner and insurance carrier that is a big wrench in things…</p>
<p>Anyway, I’m asking because these big things and then the little day to day things, and I don’t even sweat the small stuff, LOL, I find myself noticeably tense and I can feel the effects of the stress and am wondering if there are some de-stressors I haven’t thought of that may be of help. I ask because the usual things don’t work for me - for example yoga makes me stressed and a bubble bath is even worse, LOL. I don’t relax very well though I would love to learn how! But sitting still and taking a break have never been easy for me and I know that’s hard to change.</p>
<p>I’d love to know what works for others, to try and find inspiration on something that may work for me :)</p>
<p>Shilly, You’ve had a huge share of stressers lately. It helps me to share, so I go on CC or chat with my sister or friends. I also love to keep busy, so if I’m not working, I’m volunteering. I would say going for walks really helps, but I so rarely do that, especially when the weather is horrible.</p>
<p>That’s true, my late night walks with my older dog usually help but lately they’ve been with the new puppy too and that hasn’t always been unstressful :). I need to try and just take one of them walking.</p>
<p>sharpened: more cooking = more eating… that’s not a cure to destress for me! Instead: I need to get into a regular walking routine. </p>
<p>Shilly, there’s a list of major stress events in one’s life and losing a job and having a death in the family (even if that member is a pet) are two of those events. Moving is another. I hope it gets better for you soon. Walk to go for a walk?</p>
<p>OP - the stress you are facing now is real, not little stuff some of us are facing. It is not abnormal to be stressed over what you are going through. </p>
<p>When I am stressed, I tend to like to have more of me time. My family is very good at letting me do what I want to do on weekends. Right now I am doing a Chinese soap opera video marathon. I have been known to to watch the TV show 24 whole season in one weekend. H would slip food in front of me at appropriate time.</p>
<p>I am like thumper, I like a bit of spa treatment to feel better about life. Not so much with exercise.</p>
<p>Me time is definitely important and I think I’ve been guilty about taking any but I’ll try that too, I haven’t watched any guilty pleasure movies in awhile…</p>
<p>Lima, come on over and we’ll walk :). That does remind me though that before D1 went to college in the fall, she was my regular nightly walking partner and we just talked and talked. I forgot how much I enjoyed having that partner. DH is great to walk with but with his MS he doesn’t have the energy or speed I need so those short jaunts aren’t as helpful.</p>
<p>I should get a manicure before I hit the interview circuit, however I need to go shop for some interview clothing and there is nothing stress free about that! :)</p>
<p>I do love to clean, now if DH, D2 and S could not undo my efforts and make me growly we’d be even better!</p>
<p>Thanks again, these ideas help!</p>
<p>And I think the steam bath sex idea above, minus the steam bath, would be perfect but that’s a whole nother stressor with DH’s MS leaving no drive. If I’m honest that’s a huge one with me but I’m at a loss for how to deal with that one so I just squelch that side.</p>
<p>IMHO, you need some vigorous exercise that challenges you, makes you mentally focus on getting it accomplished, and makes you feel physically tired at the end. Walks aren’t necessarily going to do it.</p>
<p>I de-stress by working out hard three times a week and drinking red wine seven times a week. ;)</p>
<p>I do have to say too I’d be sunk without DH, he’s awesome and can always keep me laughing, we make a great team.</p>
<p>Yesterday was one of those days where “the best laid plans…” we made an effort to get up and out early to head to puppy party (to tire out our new puppy) - 2 blocks from home we heard the unmistakeable sound of a flat tire… Then we tried to leave early to catch some of the basketball game before S’a game and the toilet overflowed!</p>
<p>We quickly made a pact to be on time or late for anything else this weekend :)</p>
<p>Those are stressors too, shilly, but at least they’re not life-threatening.</p>
<p>When S1 was in kindergarten, one of his classmates was diagnosed with liver cancer. He passed away when they were in second grade. Ever since then, DH and I have been able to put our problems in perspective by chanting our new mantra whenever something goes wrong: “Well, at least it ain’t liver cancer.”</p>
<p>shilly, for me tennis has always been a big de-stresser. There is something about the racquet connecting with the ball that feels very satisfying. I love the sound of a well hit tannis ball, and it’s better then smacking a person as tempting as that sometimes is! Not being able to play since my knee surgery is frustrating. I also do a program called crossfit. It is exhausting. Wine is good too! I know with the end of your job spending money on yourself may make you feel more stressed but a manicure/pedicure is an excellent way to relax. How about starting a blog? You can vent to the internet!</p>
<p>I am really stressed with work right now too and everything I have tried seems to not be helping. I have also been really sick all week with a stomach bug and I think how stressed I’ve been is not exactly helping me get over it. All this stress is work related, so it just has been coming back to me every day. I think I just need some me time to try to re-set myself and get back to feeling better. My BF is going to come over and cook me breakfast in bed this morning and do some laundry for me… (have I mentioned how great he is?) I hope I can keep the food down because everything I’ve tried to eat for the past few days didn’t end up well. My house looks like a disaster. I’ve had no energy all week to do dishes or clean or laundry and everything is just thrown about. Being sick always throws me off. Maybe he’ll clean up too (one can hope…). I did exercise a bit this week (I’m trying not to let this bug throw me off my routine completely) and that didn’t really help me feel less stressed it just made me feel more tired and I went right to bed afterward, lol… and this probably sounds silly but getting out a coloring book and crayons always seems to calm me down a bit. I keep them in my desk drawer at work and take them out on lunch break when I am having a bad day. Maybe I just need to revert back to being 5 more often. :)</p>
<p>I hope I can just vegetate for the day and not think or do anything except maybe watch some tv. I took next Friday off work as a “mental health day” with some of the girls that I work with. We are going out for lunch and getting mani pedi’s. If I still feel this crappy tomorrow I may call out and just take a day to recuperate from this bug. I hate calling out sick and went in all five days this past week and it was just awful working through it. I spent a chunk of my work days in the bathroom and a chunk of each evening at home there as well. At least at home you are in private!</p>
<p>on that note, I am crawling back into bed now!</p>
<p>I went through a very stressful couple of years, to the point my very low blood pressure was starting to rise.</p>
<p>I get regular spa pedicures and massages (at least once a month for both). I’ve never been one to spend money on these types of things but now I feel like I need them to keep my sanity. I also enjoy a glass or two of my favorite wine most evenings.</p>
<p>I also have found regular exercise helps my mood. It needs to be strenuous enough to get me sweaty but even thirty minutes twice a week seems to really help.</p>
<p>Recently, I started doing something I’ve never done before…watching a sitcom that makes me laugh. My current favorite is Everyone Loves Raymond, which is on in re-runs daily about the time I go to bed. So I turn it on in the bedroom and watch it. Every time I laugh, I can feel those endorphins kick in and feel more relaxed. They say that laugther is the best medicine. It seems to be working for me, my blood pressure is back to normal.</p>
<p>This week we started hospice care for my mom, who has had dementia following a stroke six years ago and is starting to experience organ failure. Three weeks ago a dear family member died of cancer. So February was not a good month. My main de-stressor over the past few days has been talking: to my husband, sisters, brother, and friends.</p>
<p>Several friends have mentioned the importance of rest. While taking a walk is always a good de-stressor for me, I’m trying to focus on slowing down, mentally and physically. I am an “overthinker,” and that makes things worse sometimes. We have a long few weeks, or even months, ahead of us. I’ve given myself permission to stay in my nightgown, drink coffee, read the paper, talk on the phone. I have a book group book I need to read (I hope it’s not depressing). As far as my mother goes, my concern and anxiety over her well-being has lifted, so oddly enough, part of de-stressing will be just sitting quietly with her.</p>
<p>Then there’s the really deep and meaningful stuff: Real Housewives, the Oscars, a pedicure, knitting! Mindfulness helps some people. Mindlessness works for me. I’m even focusing on work projects (I’m self employed) that are relatively mindless and easy.</p>
<p>I totally get the Overthinking thing and am guilty of that as well!</p>
<p>VeryHappy - I think that’s part of the problem, since none of these things are catastrophic I feel silly for letting them get to me and thankful that they aren’t worse! But I know physically the way my body deals with stress isn’t healthy so even if they aren’t big things, my body isn’t processing them well so I need to find a solution that helps!</p>
<p>Note to self, cleaning the kitchen and then having DH come through and not clean up after does not help the stress :). However he does jump in to help when I vented rather loudly, LOL!</p>
<p>I hope everyone else that needs it gets the me time they need in the way they want it :)</p>
<p>I have been exercising but it’s been more a chore than an enjoyment though I do feel better having done it!</p>
<p>And I’ve considered taking up drinking, well a glass of wine, maybe I’ll pick up a nice bottle today and have a glass by myself with a guilty pleasure tv show or a book. </p>
<p>I also like feeling I’m not alone - thanks!</p>
we’d be even better!</p>