<p>I don’t want to sound dumb (again) but, how should my son decline very generous offers he was given? I told him he shouldn’t burn any bridges…so…he said, well? what do you want me to do, lol. I actually had no answer. I wasn’t sure if emailing the person who gave the offer was a good/bad idea. I also, wasn’t sure if he should personally contact the guy who gave him such a great scholarship to his first choice, after seeing the other offers he got.</p>
<p>Would love advice from those who know what’s proper and whats not.</p>
<p>The people offering money know not everyone will take it so they certainly won’t be offended he didn’t. A polite thanks but I won’t be using the offer lets them free up the money for someone else once he is sure of his decision. Keep it short- they don’t need to waste time reading a long message. So much is now done by email these days that it seems the best way and that is personal contact. I’m no “expert” but this seems logical. A phone call could be an inconvenience to the recipient and wouldn’t leave a record like an email does. Snail mail would mean a piece of paper to take proper care of. I’m old enough I still think of old ways but when you think of the beauty of email it is so nice- quick, to a specific person, documented sender and receiver, easily retained as proof by both parties, legible, opened at any convenient time, easily filed or sent on to someone else and printable for paper proof as well as not easy to lose like paper or forget as in a conversation. Just be sure he doesn’t make up a generic message and send it to multiple addresses- that would be rude. He can easily have a stock reply and alter it to personalize it for each recipient. No need to specify where he will go unless he feels it appropriate for the individual recipient.</p>
<p>Graciously, and thankfully, especially within the music world, as it’s far too small to burn any bridges. </p>
<p>Simply state the choice between having a number of great opportunities with generous support made the decision extremely difficult. After careful consideration and weighing all the options, you went with the one that filled the majority of your requirements.</p>
<p>An added thank you, and an expressed hope that the offer could be passed to a talent that would benefit more fully from that specific program could also be added.</p>
<p>I think there’s a thread currently over in the music forum where this was discussed.</p>
<p>Definitely agree that gratitude and appreciation are the order of the day. I have read more than once on CC that a personal letter showing appreciation has resulted in a reply extending the offer should the student change his/her mind and want to transfer.</p>
<p>S wrote letters to the schools where he declined (with or w/o merit $$), including to a couple of profs with whom he spent a lot of time discussing the merits of the various schools/programs, etc. In October he was offered a job with one of those profs for the summer – a powerful lesson to S about not burning bridges!</p>
<p>edit: S did talk about why he chose one school over another, but he had developed enough of a relationship with the people involved that it felt appropriate to him. A couple of the folks even agreed that for what he wanted, he was making the right choice.</p>
<p>D turned down her second place PhD offer with a phone call and follow up email.You are right about not burning bridges, 2 yrs later, the prof she wanted to work with there was a candidate for a job at her Grad School ( he didnt take the position b/c they didnt offer a job to his “trailing” spouse)Its a small world in academic departments.</p>