<p>I am a freshman in college and my family does not have much money. I work every weekend to help with the costs of my college. In my family we don’t normally do much for mothers day because my mom sees it as a hallmark holiday. This year I on a whim decided to buy my mom some flowers that will get delivered. It was not cheap and I am really worried that she is not going to be happy about it. I used my own hard earned money about six hours worth. Would you get upset if your child bought you something that was over and above what you can usually afford? I hope to play it off as cheaper then it was but… I am feelings worried about it. I know this is nothing in the scheme of things but hey I was just wondering your thoughts. I should feel okay about this right?</p>
<p>I think it was very sweet of you to send your mom flowers, and I’m sure she’ll be delighted. She may worry about whether you could afford it, but that’s just normal mom thinking. I don’t think you have to worry. Also, don’t feel that now you’ve done this once, you have to keep doing it. A card next year (or better - a nice long letter) would be just fine. Your mom will be very happy you are thinking of her, especially as it is her first mother’s day without having you at home.</p>
<p>Not only should you feel okay about this, fairyblood, but sweetie, you should feel WONDERFUL about it! What a beautiful, thoughtful, lovely gesture you’ve made for your mom!!! Your gift has already been paid for and arranged. I can’t see your mom having anything but a most joyous reaction to something so heartfelt and hard earned. </p>
<p>That said, I completely understand your feelings and your question. My kids, especially my oldest D, tend to be VERY extravagant in terms of gifts for me. I, too, sometimes feel self-conscious and guilty from the pampering when we are a financially a very average family with six kids. When my oldest D got her very first job at a grocery store, she spent her first paycheck on a genuine Tempur-pedic pillow for ME. NOTHING…and I mean NOTHING…I said to her could deter her from doing that. At that point, what could I do but accept her generosity and thoughtfulness in the spirit that it was offered? And that is exactly what your very surprised (and LUCKY) mom will do too!</p>
<p>You sound like an awesome kid who takes joy in thinking about those whom you love. How completely awesome! I’m sure your mom’s smile will be every bit as big as your heart!</p>
<p>Come back and tell us what she thinks, okay?? :)</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>I would be worried privately, but would never share my thoughts! The receiver of a gift should not be anything but happy about it! My own mom is very, very practical, and hates to waste money. (She used to mail us packages of birthday napkins rather than a birthday card because they cost the same but were much more practical!)</p>
<p>She always talked about how silly flowers were – too expensive and they died… And then, one day, I saw her reaction to some flowers someone sent her, and realized that she said all that to keep us from spending money we didn’t have. But she really loved the idea, and the attention, and the thought, and we would see her privately fussing over them - making sure they were watered, and prominently displayed, and carefully pruned to last as long as possible.</p>
<p>I love getting flowers. Even if you mother does say something to you about the cost, and sometime things slip out that we then wish we had not said, I am sure that she will very touched and pleased. You have made a wonderful gesture.</p>
<p>I love getting flowers too. I am ambivalent about flowers too. I enjoy getting them very much, but feel that they are frivolous. I think sometimes that is just what a gift should be, something frivolous. I would say that I feel just like binx’s mother, and I think you mother might feel the same way. They are just the right thing for Mother’s Day.</p>
<p>^^I concur with binx and northeastmom…it’s my immediate reaction too, but short lived! It’s why people don’t typically go and buy flowers for themselves, but why GETTING them from someone you love is beyond special. ;)</p>
<p>Well, as a mom you have made my day!!! And you have made the day of countless moms reading this. You are a great kid! </p>
<p>On the INSIDE your mom will feel the same way. She will be SMILING. On the inside she will not be able to contain herself. If on the outside she acts worried about the cost, its just an act. She might “have” to act that way to be sure you are not extravagent in other ways. </p>
<p>BUT TRUST ME ON THIS ONE, she will remember this Mothers Day FOREVER. And if she can’t show her appreciation now, she will one day. And secretly, she will be smiling, maybe even crying.</p>
<p>Fairyblood:
It’s beyond wonderful that you spent six hours worth of work on a nice Mother’s Day present. Your mom should be delighted about her gift and about having such a caring, loving daughter.</p>
<p>For some reason, if I get flowers from my children I love it. (My S sent flowers from college to me on my birthday this year and it made my day.)</p>
<p>When I get flowers from my husband (married 24 years), they are a waste of money that could probably be better spent. (probably on the children) ;)</p>
<p>Go figure…</p>
<p>fairyblood
I am going to be honest-
I don’t like getting flowers- because they don’t last long and they are expensive,so I can see where your mom is coming from.</p>
<p>However- I think it is very loving that you are doing that for her- however- since she seems to feel as I do- I would suggest that you write a little note to go with it- explaining that you wouldn’t ordinarily do that- but you really wanted to do something different to show your appreciation ( since I am picking up that is why you decided to).</p>
<p>I think she will be really touched and it will be very memorable.</p>
<p>(I think the last time my kids gave me flowers was when they broke the heads off the tulips!)</p>
<p>Thats exactly what I said in the card emeraldkity. Thank you everyone for what you all have said. You make me feel a lot better about it all. I also want to say that I a Very careful with my money and Never spend it frivolously. I am a completely addicted to saving as much money as I can. I guess that is why I feel guilty about this. You guys are all such wonderful mothers, thank you so much for taking the time to write in my thread.</p>
<p>fairyblood,
I am sorry that I missed this thread yesterday! I agree with your mom that it is a Hallmark holiday and have told my kids that I would much prefer their respect throughout the year rather than having a fuss made on one day. That being said, you show remarkable maturity in having written the note to go along with the flowers even before another mom on this board made the suggestion. Your mom will surely remember the day and she sounds like the type who will keep your note for long after the flowers have turned to dust.</p>
<p>Fairyblood: your mom will appreciate the flowers and the note and will always remember this special Mother’s Day. Even if she says “you shouldn’t have,” it’s a lovely gesture for your first Mother’s Day away from home. You sound like a very thoughtful and mature person.</p>