I’m allergic to everything that you need to put on your face to look young so - I just deal with the wrinkles, it’s okay. But, what does bother me, and I mostly make fun of myself, is I lose words. I know the word I want, it’s right in front of me, but I’m forever chasing it around in my mind so I take the easy out “wrist clock” escape instead of watch. It’s faster. I know that is a dementia reference, and I don’t think I have dementia, or even the beginnings of it, yet, I just do not have the patience to wait around for my mind to figure out where exactly I filed that word in my brain. Patience is not one of my virtues. It is very frustrating.
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I’m totally fine with getting older- I’m very happy with my life and I’m fortunate to have good health. I’m pretty active and while I don’t do everything I used to I’m ok with that.
I have an active social life, weekly volunteer commitments and still happily married. I also have the good fortune of having freedom to do what I want- something I didn’t always have in my younger years.
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CBS Sunday Morning had a segment on this. How you feel may add 7.5 years to you life.
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Ok, for example, when I post something to Facebook showing myself being active (e.g., when I got my bike helmet). much younger FB friends and family I haven’t seen in forever may post that adage. Although I weigh less now than during my entire adult life and I am more active, I know that my joints are wearing out and even though I am no longer seriously overweight, garden-variety illnesses like the common cold take longer to make their way through my body on the way to all-better. There’s no way that my body will rebuild itself. Alas, aging is pretty much a one-way street although good health habits along with lots of luck can help with the slope of the road.
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I am convinced that this is because the file cabinet in our brain is overflowing with information we have collected over the years. Sometimes, what we want to pull from it was misfiled, slipped down too far in the drawer, or just needs a few extra seconds of digging through the mess to be found. As long as it CAN eventually be accessed, it’s all good.
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I think my objection to “age is just anumber” is the implication that if you don’t mountain bike, belong to a gym, dress like you are 30, etc…you are missing out, or failing, or making bad choices. Not everyone is lucky in their aging, or supported, or whatever combination of things. And admittedly, some of us are just tiredand want to sit down.
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Sure, at some point we all have to do some pivoting in our habits and lifestyle. Being willing to pivot and being creative in how to pivot can be key.
I just think you can’t apply an adage to anyone or no one. It’s circumstantial.
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I have always looked young, and now that I am 64 I still look young for my age. I have been dying my hair for many years (once it started turning grey). I think that my hair color helps people think I am in my mid-50s. I have also grown it longer than I have in over 30 years and that also makes me look younger. The one thing that I think tells my age is that my hands look old now. Nothing I can do about that (too bad it isn’t the 1950s and I could wear gloves all the time- haha). I am in better shape than probably ever before in my life - low weight, do yoga 3 times a week, walk about 3 miles a day, and my bone density is at osteopenia (after years of osteoporosis).
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My mom worked her whole life to be healthy. She drew the unlucky card, though, and she had so many age-related conditions despite her efforts. Beginning in her 60’s. She had breast cancer and went through chemo at 60. A few years later, she had a heart valve repair. While standing with her legs across her bike after a ride, she fell and broke her pelvis. While getting out from the pool after a swim, she slipped and shattered her shoulder. She struggled with vocal cord issues and had to have surgery. By 70, she was struggling with an executive function dementia (which we didn’t recognize for a couple years). At 75, she broke her leg … which set off a series of complications that led to her death at 76. So I absolutely understand that sometimes aging can get the best of us no matter what. And I sure wouldn’t have tried to blow sunshine up my mom’s behind about it - she would have smacked me upside the head!
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This is profound- thank you for posting.
As someone who seems to have “won” the genetic lottery (early onset Alzheimer’s, MS, other neurological diseases in my immediate family) I groan when folks humble brag about their fitness routines, their caloric/fat restrictive diets, and the other practices which they believe have kept them healthy. And often delivered with the dessert- “Did your mom do crossword puzzles? That’s a very easy way to avoid Alzheimer’s I hear”.
I don’t begrudge anyone their longevity. I certainly admire my friends who have parents now turning 90. 95 and older and still maintaining some quality of life. But given how complex some of the more severe neurological conditions are, it’s ridiculous for someone in their 60’s to claim that they are healthy because of their kale/quinoa raw food diet. Yes, that’s a good heart healthy practice. But there are otherwise healthy people in wheelchairs with ALS, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, MS, etc. who also ate kale, ran 10 miles before their non-caffeinated breakfast, etc. until they couldn’t. Their cholesterol levels and BMI are the envy of their medical team.
And MANY clinical trials with patients who were academics, physicians, orchestra conductors, engineers, etc. to debunk the notion that crossword puzzles are the answer. These are trials looking to understand the brain chemistry which can render a healthy, intellectually engaged adult into an invalid often in a very short period of time.
Kelsmom- hugs to you. Your mom sounds amazing.
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This is absolutely true. My friend has ALS and just turned 50, she has always been one of the most active people I know. We all know younger people with cancer that have been health nuts and athletes, Kate Middleton comes to mind. Kelsmom’s mom is a tragic example that is sadly familiar to lots of us.
But, we all know that diet and exercise are important, vital even. Type 2 diabetes in particular is a major risk factor for everything from Alzheimers to heart disease to many cancers. Many of those people in their 60s bragging about their diet and exercise routines being the cause of their good health are correct, they would likely be sick or sicker without those routines.
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My parents neurologist described patients with early onset Alzheimer’s who were under his care who he said were “The healthiest adults he’d ever treated”.
They were actively dying- body functions shutting down-- while presenting with no other organic disease, condition, health risks besides Alzheimer’s.
Sure, someone with a family history of heart disease, diabetes, etc.- do the kale and whatnot. But we seem to have a societal assumption that people who become gravely ill in their 50’s and 60’s “did something” to hasten their condition. Or that the people who are diagnosed with colon cancer in their 40’s somehow missed the memo to start getting screening colonoscopies. Or were addicted to red meat, smoked, or some other lifestyle issue. So the lifestyle stuff- it’s going to make you healthier than what- dying young of an incurable disease? Running marathons won’t protect you from ALS.
It would be nice to change the narrative on this.
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What would you change the narrative to?
Healthy habits regarding exercise, eating, etc. will tip the odds in your favor, but offer no guarantee against genetic or other bad luck (if the luck is bad enough, then the healthy habits may only move your odds from very high risk to high risk). I.e. think of it as a game with loaded dice, where much of the loading is your genetic luck, but the loading can also be changed by your health habits.
If anything, it seems that more people have given up on healthy habits than are trying to have healthy habits.
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So, please everyone, stop eating healthy, you know the “kale/quinoa diet” and stop exercising. It just doesn’t matter. Even though 42% of the US adults are obese and 70% are overweight.
In my case, I’ll continue to brag about my “exercise routine.” Diet and exercise aren’t some magical elixir, we’re playing the probabilities.
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The narrative that people who get sick “did something” (or didn’t do something) to bring it on. If it’s breast cancer, she should have had a double mastectomy years ago. If it’s Alzheimer’s, we’re back to the crossword puzzle business. If it’s Huntington’s- yeah, that’s a drag, but why the hell did he have children given his family history? If it’s Parkinson’s, why wasn’t he following a macrobiotic diet with plenty of turmeric since some ethnic groups in India apparently have low rates of Parkinson’s. Oh, she has ovarian cancer? “Everyone” knows that using baby powder increases the risk. She didn’t use powders of any kind? Must be that pregnancy in her 40’s-- the extra estrogen likely caused the cancer to spread to her liver.
I am happy for you if nobody in your family has been diagnosed with something dreadful. Because if they are- you get a lot of “armchair medicine” and it really stinks. Very, very healthy people with prudent lifestyles and all the “right” choices get horrible diagnoses every day.
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I know my family history, one side of which has many health problems that can and sometimes did lead to dreadful outcomes. There is a significant genetic component there, but the (potential) health problems are also those where health habits can strongly modify probabilities.
Really two different lines of thought here. Yes, people who exercise, keep their brains active, and eat healthy are less likely to contract certain diseases or conditions, including diabetes, heart disease or certain kinds of dementia.
Yet people who lead an incredibly healthy lifestyle can still be felled by a myriad of diseases for which the healthy lifestyle had very limited to no impact. ALS does not care if your cholesterol is below 200.
Yes, people should be proud of doing the hard work of eating well and exercising. It is also true that nobody should assume that someone who gets sick did not do “everything right”.
One of my friends eats incredibly healthy and is very thin, but still has to be on medication because genetically she has high cholesterol.
No way to stop the armchair medicine except to ignore or shut it down. Especially these days, many people think they are experts on health when they have no clue. I still think the message about healthy lifestyle is important. Even if those messages weren’t out there, the armchair experts would still be commenting.
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I’m fairly sure that most of us realize illness is often caused by complex factors beyond “lifestyle choices,” including genetics, exposure to pathogens, and the environment, and not necessarily poor “lifestyle choices.”
Otherwise, seems to me, we’re being “called out” for having a lack of empathy towards those experiencing illness, which I certainly don’t have (lack of empathy).
But it sounded to me that we all should forgo healthy living, because none of it matters, which most medical professionals would strongly disagree with.
I am sure you are quite empathetic.
People (not singling out you or anyone else on this thread) should understand that offering a medical opinion unless they are actually a medical professional is the opposite of empathy. When a sibling of mine became ill, someone I thought of as a close friend called to tell me that I needed to take the sibling to a clinic in Mexico ASAP because they had a “miracle cure” which the FDA refused to approve “for political reasons”.
This isn’t empathy.
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