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I’ve actually stopped taking Singular and only take my statin every other day since I read they can cause brain fog. I think it’s improved my ability to find the right words a bit faster.
I feel mixed but mostly positive. I’ve read studies that people’s happiness tends to be higher than younger people or than middle-aged people. See Older Age Is Happier Than You Think – It’s Middle Age That’s Miserable and With Age Comes Happiness: Here's Why | Scientific American and Retirees Tend to Be Happier than Younger People – Even If Their Finances Aren’t Great – Center for Retirement Research.
I feel very fortunate like @anomander. I have a career that I continue to love and that keeps me challenged. I have a great wife who is creative, warm, generous and keeps my life interesting. My kids are adulting on very good paths. I’mproud of both. We have saved a fair bit. We have an absolutely magnificent house in a location that is peaceful. We also have great trips and great meals, though I think we have been doing that for the last 20 years.
Consistent with the Forbes article, I no longer have the stress of wondering whether I am going to make it professionally, whether I will make enough to pay for college, whether I will have enough to retire on, how to deal with our parents, how to deal with two kids who had serious medical problems and with learning disabiliites. On the flip side, I met someone in my field about 15 years ago who was so excited to meet me because she said I was a rock start in my field and have run into a VC and the head of a major NGO whose PhD theses drew heavily in inspiration on a book I co-authored that was published when I was 32. But, now I sense that I am becoming somewhat less relevant in the same gatherings (I did leave full-time academia in my 30s although I have published quite a bit thereafter). But, my star is probably fading.
ShawWife and I remain active – kayaking, cycling, hiking in the mountains – but I have had to give up squash, tennis and volleyball (sports I loved). I have had knee surgeries and then a host of aging related issues: arthritis, a knee replacement, three hernia surgeries, prostate reduction, and am going to have a back surgery. And, my hiking has definitely been curtailed from what I used to do. Plus, it takes a lot longer to recover from anything. I do two one-hour sessions of core-strengthening exercise with a trainer to enable me to function with a screwed up back.
I definitely feel the loss of nouns and names. They eventually come to me but not right away. I haven’t fallen, but I don’t think I am as stable as I was – I can really feel it when hiking in the Rockies. (Probably have to work more on stabilizing muscles).
I will try to continue to do what makes me interested and happy as long as I am mentally and physically able. This includes my professional work (the greater comfort clients now have with Zoom/Teams calls means less travel and will extend my working life), my writing, and my exercise.
I am grateful for medical advances that have improved the quality of many lives—the insulin pump was a life changer for our neighbor with type 1 diabetes. The many different inhalers improve the quality of many lives. Lighter and more portable forms of O2. Mobility electric scooters & wheelchairs and self-propelled scooters have made a huge difference.
Heck even rolling suitcases are game changers and allow travel without as much stress on the shoulder & back.
I’m grateful that there are some treatments now and hopefully more on the horizon to make aging gracefully more common, as the alternative doesn’t appeal to me.
I’m less focused on how I look and more on being able to do the things I want to, including traveling, going out, enjoying family & friends. Currently I can do these things and that makes me very happy.
This is a good question related to the original question “how do you feel about getting older” - do you pay more or less attention to how you look compared to say when you were in your 40’s??? Or more attention in a certain area or not as much attention in other areas (maybe letting hair go gray)??
I’m “only” in my mid 50s but I’m already seeing changes I don’t like. Arthritic pain where I had previous surgeries or injuries, don’t love the way my neck looks nor the vertical wrinkles between my eyebrows, etc… I’ve also had to switch from a “go big or go home” mindset when exercising and doing physical activities, to an “everything in moderation” mindset.
I have been coloring my hair for 15 years (grays started appearing early) and I can’t imagine stopping. The freckles I used to hate I think now make me look a bit younger.
Overall though, I’m happy to be overall healthy (minus aches and pains) and active and I hope it continues to as long as possible.
I will say though when I read the title of this thread, I heard my dad’s voice in my head saying “the golden years aren’t so golden”. Dealing with a wife with ALZ, his own medical issues, physical limitations, and lots of friends dying was all very tough.
I have been avoiding this thread to be honest.
The title brought me anxiety.
I’m “young” chronologically compared to many on here but feel like I belong bc I feel 10-15 years older than my age. (Ironically, I probably look younger than my age thanks to regular solid professional skincare for last two decades.)
But I feel old. I feel anxiety that I’m going to get dementia. Whenever I do smthg flighty it causes me concern.
DH is a neurologist so it doesn’t help my anxiety when he asks me (at lunch no less as I’m scraping my nacho into the salsa) “How’s your tremor?” I’m like , what tremor. He apparently brought it to my attention in past but clearly I repressed that observation. I was flustered rest of the afternoon. Bc he’s right, I have one.
I know so many things I need to be doing proactively for health. But following through (exercise) has always been hard for me.
I’m not sure that the cell phone’s rapid accessability to information isn’t part of what my memory (if that’s it) problem is. I absolutely will not do nor have I done anything if it is not on my calendar (I also go back and look at it for history reference). I turned over my brain to that little hand held chargeable piece of plastic so I no longer exercise it with everyday chores. My groceries are on a texted list to myself or a Publix shopping app. I do puzzles, but they are done rapdily (except Connections because some of them are just stupid!) so not really challenging.
I need to read the fitness & health thread - you guys inspire me…as I sit here alternating coffee with water since I have to get my RA infusion in 2 hours!
Less. Less than in my twenties for sure, less than in my forties, too. I am trim and muscular due to exercise, so my body has not changed much. (Well, but I used to have effortless abs.) I am able to be pleased with what my body can do and not stress over how it looks. My face looks older. I have lines and wrinkles and sun spots and less plumpness. My neck looks old.
The bright spot? My vision is also worse, so I can’t see all these defects unless I stop and stare!
I’m lucky to have my parents’ skin. I really have very few lines or wrinkles on my face at 62. My mom had great skin until her death at 82. But my neck is wrinkly, and that annoys me.
Mid-50’s?! You’re a baby!!
I was just thinking about how high the average age of parents on CC is, at least in the Cafe!
After high school, I never spent a lot of time making myself look good. I think I got ready for my wedding in 45 min shower included. Did my own hair and make-up. I hate looking at myself in mirrors. I haven’t owned a full length mirror since college. So not much as changed there. I worry too much about being fit, though maybe not quite as much as I did in my 20s and 30s. I wonder if I’ll still worry when I’m 90.
Finances… I’m so far behind almost everyone here, it’s laughable (or maybe not)… but we are so much better off now than we were for most of my life. Not crying every single month when we get paid is amazing! I never take that for granted. However, that worry has shifted to health woes. I’m the kind of person who can be paranoid that they are coming down with something tragic and major. But in my 20s and 30s, I can brush it off… I have no family history, the chances are super low… Now in my 50s… it can’t be brushed off, especially as H now had a super scare with colon cancer (no symptoms!) and now CLL. My sister has a detached retina, so now I convince myself I’m always seeing flashes… My trip to the eye doctor last month showed I’m perfectly fine. So my worries just have shifted. I always have to have something to worry about it seems.
And the poor vision is highly aggravating! Monovision is the best of the bad choices… And my skin which used to be great apparently… I used to have random people come up to me and say I have the nicest skin… (And all I do is wash it with regular soap in the shower in the morning!) is now getting spots and stuff. Have to get that checked every year now… PITA… Definitely can’t blow off the female stuff anymore. Sigh…
Do I wish I had 20 years back? Yes. I don’t like looking ahead and guessing that in another 15 to 20 years, life will be harder. We alternate hosting Thanksgiving for a large group of extended family, including older cousins (parent generation is all gone now) and wonder how many more we will host as we age. Not a problem yet, but stil.
I am still working full time and I think part of it is feeling that once I retire I will be officially old, even though by age I am already. My DH has some major mobiilty issues so that has been a challenge for travel that was unexpected. Many things I thought we would do together in retirement, are not possible.
On the one hand, it is nice to be beyond paying for college, worrying about what would happen if my job disappeared, and if we could survive. My kids are generally launched, although one is still struggline a bit, but no weddings or babies yet (if ever on the latter).
A friend is in the process of diagnosis of a very serious, likely life-limiting illness. Facing those losses, more common with age, is tough. Having friends move away to “retirement homes” is tough as is deciding what we want to do.
So like all of life, it is mixed. I am thrilled to be here and to, so far at least, be in reasonably good health. I know that can change in an instant.
I seem to be the only one on the planet who doesn’t give a thought to exercise. As an adult, I’ve never been in a gym/fitness center, never had a routine, and don’t own any athletic clothing. I was a gymnast in HS, and that was the last time I regularly “worked out.” Now, I find the very idea of exercise boring. But, I’m constantly moving, rarely sit for more than an hour, am not overweight and, except for a statin for moderately elevated cholesterol, blood work is all fine. People tell me I do everything fast and to please slow down. My husband finds my natural walking pace annoying; he wants to hold hands, I need to get where I’m going. I spent a very painful slow year before I had my left hip replaced, but I’m good as new now and back to leaving DH in the dust.
OTOH, I do find my once-amazing memory palace crumbling and, since I turned 62, all mirrors seem defective. As a beauty school dropout, I still maintain the same skin and haircare routines I’ve always had, makeup and blowout daily even at our cabin in the woods. I don’t want to scare the chipmunks.
What concerns me is the forty-year difference between us and our only child. He will not have us in his life as long as our parents have been in ours (all four are still alive and doing well, living on their own at 88-90). We want to be in his life healthfully as long as we can, but there is no magic that will keep us with him into his 60s. I try not to think about it, but this makes me sad.
Just what I was thinking. @momofboiler1 My oldest son is 54. You’re still pretty young in my eyes.
One thing that is really important to keeping that “older” glass half full is humor - and you have a great sense of humor as far as I see! A little sarcasm can get one a long way.
Adding in to @ClassicMom98 not everyone on CC has a beautiful big bank account - I think if we were to take attendance, many do not and well, that is just not talked about here!
Adding in to @mom2and , I too still work full time at age 65 but am retiring one position later this month and will be starting a new part time position in January. I very much echo the feeling that “retiring” = old (no offense to anyone - this is MY roadblock) and honestly I like working and I can still have free time to do what I want. Retirement is not my hot ticket right now. And I have to say that in my own personal life I have observed that retirement seems to take a lot of people (my own observations in MY circles) down a notch in mental acuity and just being up to date with technology, the working world, social relationships, etc.
So yep, I am not 30 or 40 or 50 anymore but I’m going to do my best to accept any limitations that can’t be changed but rise to the occasion for those I can control or seek to maintain/enhance.
[quote=“Silpat, post:19, topic:3678001”]
He tried hearing aids years ago, gave them up as soon as he retired and refuses to see anyone about his hearing now
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Time to get him air pods for Christmas!–you can use them for hearing aids now with an app on your phone. 80 year old friend got them and just loves them!
And they are still on sale for Cyber Monday! Air Pods Pro 2 (and I think they’ve updated even those)
Like I have a choice…
I envy you, @abasket, for enjoying work so much! My “career” as such was always just focused on income. It wasn’t ever about work that I enjoyed. I’ve looked at early retirement as a way to pursue things I am passionate about - the career I wished for! Of course, none of this would be possible if my mother hadn’t died. Now dealing with H’s cancer diagnosis, Sabadog’s liver issues - I couldn’t have continued at my last job even if I had wanted to - which I definitely didn’t.
I go through my skincare routine twice a day. I blow my hair out every other day. I rarely wear makeup. I don’t have a lot of wrinkles. Exercise is mostly walking and Pilates for now, but I enjoy it. The dogs definitely enjoy the walking! Pilates studio doesn’t allow dogs but I’m not sure they’d enjoy it anyway.