If somebody says something salty or disapproving about the college you are invested in (either your child attends, your alma mater etc) either online or to your face, do you feel like jumping in and defends the institution?
Some examples include
College A games rankings…
College A is not as good as College B
My Child hated College A
etc etc
Is Dissing somebody’s college similar to dissing somebody’s religion? Is it a big no no in terms of etiquette?
It depends on what they say and what context they say it in. If it’s a matter of opinion or perception, they’re certainly entitled and I’m not going to say anything about that all. If they state a fact about the school that’s not true I might correct that. But I’d still probably just let that go.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Not worth it.
I agree with them when they say a fair critique – it’s too big for me, I don’t want a party school, it’s too focused on sports, it’s too expensive, etc. I might not personally feel that way but those are legitimate things to feel.
I get annoyed when people say it’s not academically rigorous (come take an engineering class with me and we’ll see how you feel then!), or say that they’re better than to go here (someone came to the subreddit for my school and said admissions should break their long-term rule of not accepting engineering transfers because said poster was doing them a favor by deigning to apply here…uh, no), or imply that the school owes them merit or financial aid and that they’ve been lied to by the school (they’re up-front about not giving away much money. You weren’t owed anything, it’s not unfair, you weren’t lied to).
Also, school-specific: I get REALLY annoyed when people say the current students are still responsible for the scandal that happened before we ever got here.
If I were sensitive to negative comments about my alma mater (which is also my daughter’s alma mater), I would have stopped coming to CC many years ago.
"Interesting…that was not my experience at all. "
Who knows, maybe I agree with them.
The world is full of inconsiderate, thoughtless, rude people. Just strive to not be like them.
Consider the source. You may not value person A’s perceptions. The perceptions could also be realistic. The wording of the statement also matters. You have the right to agree/disagree. Just because you have an association doesn’t mean criticisms are not valid in your eyes as well.
Being critical is not the same as being rude etc- if you think it is, the rudeness etc would be well deserved. No reason to only say what you want to hear.
No, I think I’m used to it!
Whether we are asked which suburb we live in (definitely on the other side of the tracks), where our kids go to college (public flagships), what my oldest is majoring in (apparently something that will never lead to a real job), what I do for a living (I’m not saying!), what my husband does for a living (I’m not saying!)…oy…the asker usually responds with a quizzical look or a tight polite smile + “Oh. That’s nice.”
Keeping your sense of humor helps!
Well, if the negative comment is about the football team, I just pity them, because they’re obviously jealous.
On anything else, I don’t mind hearing criticism that is true and deserved. No school is perfect, or perfect for everyone. If it’s something that’s not true or that is a matter of opinion, I would either ignore it or use @bopper’s “Interesting . . . that was not my experience at all” line or something to that effect.
just smile and nod http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/926354-just-smile-and-nod-smile-and-nod-p1.html
It happens regularly with a certain crowd of people in my neighborhood regarding my daughter’s college. It is a public honors LAC that is IN OUR STATE, and has been in existence for 175 years.
“Where is she? Now, where is that? Really. I’ve never heard of it.”
I smile and nod and understand that it says a lot more about the speaker than it does about my daughter.
(I wouldn’t blink if those questions/statements were made by anyone who hasn’t lived in this state for awhile, who hasn’t had kids attend my kids’ high school - from which each graduating class sends at least a couple of solid graduates to this partiular college - and who hasn’t already sent at least one one child to college. It’s a small college. But that isn’t what is going on with these particular people.)
So annoying. I remember when I told a friend where my son was going, he started telling me a long story about the daughter of a friend who didn’t like it there. Then there is the UPS lady who tells me every time I drop off a package that she has never heard of my son’s school. I just smile and nod or say there sure are a lot of colleges out there.
@LBowie … now she has!
I get a lot of that about my oldest D’s school -known to be difficult and non- supportive. Some of it is true and some exaggerated. I try to just say that hasn’t been our experience.
My youngest D will be attending a women’s college in the Fall. I am surprised at how many people think it is appropriate to comment on that. A few people have acted like we are making her go there ?? Because we don’t want her to be around men? It is strange.
It depends. I have seen a lot of criticism on CC over the years about the school where my oldest went - George Washington. Most of it I brush off, but someone on here called the girls ‘Euro trash’ - that really pissed me off! Personal attacks on students like that are not appropriate, IMO. (She had a great experience and is doing very well in her career!)
My kid goes to a small LAC so I know it’s not for everyone and don’t expect it to be. Sometimes though I roll my eyes when someone goes on a 2 hour tour/info session and then makes some sweeping generalization (often way off base) about what the student body is like based on highly questionable evidence. Ex: saw a couple of students not talking to each other while walking back from the tour and therefore concluded that students at X are disengaged, unhappy and non-collaborative. I do believe people should trust their gut instincts about whether someplace is a fit for them, and it’s fine if after 45 minutes the student senses that College X isn’t right for them, but don’t think that makes you an expert on College X.
I love the “smile and nod” thread. I have read every post.
I have this look that basically says - without saying anything out loud - “I think you’re an idiot.”
I give them an aggressive gator chomp. They usually move away rather rapidly.