No doubt my D will fall behind those attending top universities. But that is due to more than money opportunities. she simply did not get into the two elite programs to which she applied. True, she didn’t apply to another couple top programs because they were out of budget. But not getting into those programs puts her at some disadvantage as soozievt points out clearly. Those peers at the top will all be going places. Teachers have access to valuable people. Their network is extremely effective. People with money go there which means opportunity to connect with influential peers from influential familes. Luminaries come to create there. There are all sorts of terrific advantages to the best schools. The education is icing. Good training and education can be gotten at 2nd and even 3rd tier schools. Lectures and coursework are not the highest priority for getting into the most elite schools. Living,conversing,collaborating,planning,exploring with those who are at the top is why you pay the big money.
Of course, that leaves behind those who didn’t get in. Lots of us. Most of us.
What to do?
What can you do? Carry on. Find smart people in your own college. The go getters. Surely if you are there, they are too since not all the talented ambitious people in the country can fit into the top 5 schools. Make lots of friends. Get better at acting,singing,dancing. Really better. You’ll have to overcome the advantages you don’t get. Get a bit aggressive in searching for things to do. It won’t be as easy to catch a break but it can ALWAYS be done. Go out of your college to other places to learn with new interesting people. Be confident. Develop the human virtures that make people want to be and work with you. Use yourself.
It’s no use pretending one school is the same as the other. It’s not.
So what?
p.s. In CC world I’ll get the “bad mother” award because since getting denied from the most prestigious schools, I think we may choose the least expensive option. Some would disapprove because it is much less than we can do. But there are reasons I want to spend comparatively little. They wouldn’t be everyone’s. We all take our chances with this college thing. The only sad thing is to second guess.
If you take the top 5 programs and you multiply by 25, you get 125 people. Thousands auditioned. Many more kids than 125 had the right stuff to make it in this industry. Where will the rest go? The other schools, of course. There is plenty of talent, drive, and intellect to go around. The kids who go to other programs will be in good company.
@HappyDancer98 post #76 sums it up for me. Really great. I also agree with her post #81 about some highly talented MT kids landing at MANY programs beyond the tippy top ones. There is talent in all these programs.
@mtmcmt 's post #80…that was good advice about being a go getter and so on if you don’t land at a tippy top college. I would add to that…no matter where you go to college…even a so-called “top college”…it requires a lot of drive, motivation, initiative and being a go getter to succeed beyond graduation. Nothing is handed to these kids, even at top programs. I can’t begin to tell you how hard my D works now that she is out of college…pretty much 24/7. She also doesn’t wait for opportunities to come to her, though some have over time. She has also created opportunities for herself. No college degree or name school is a ticket to ride.
Well, I can relate to this post. My older daughter was awarded a free ride at our state’s flagship, a really good college, but one she had never intended to apply to. She had other safeties on her list. Sure, I heard from family about her turning down a free ride. But that school did not have her intended major, and she could not have participated in her favorite sport there, and the student body wasn’t the most ideal match, and she had grown up in our tiny rural state and desired attending school some place else and more urban. That school wasn’t the best fit for her though I recommend the school all the time.
I disagree with the point about “waiting tables for a living.” My MT D has never waited a table in her life. Sure, MT grads need survival jobs. My D’s survival jobs were all in music and theater for a few years. She no longer does any survival jobs While there is nothing wrong with waiting tables and it works with an auditioning life, I don’t foresee my kid ever doing it. My older D did it in high school though.
This thread has been very interesting as people have discussed their various viewpoints on the topic of schools, tuition, and other factors. The diversity of paths within a group of people who all essentially have the same goal is fascinating to me. Time will tell
I think one thing to remember is that being on Broadway is not the only way to have a successful career in musical theatre. I know a lot of VERY talented people who travelled and did regional theatre in their 20’s and 30’s and then when they wanted to settle down, moved some place with great community and small regional theaters, and are happy, employed, and do what they love.
My daughter is still young, with big dreams of Broadway, I try to ground her all the time, by showing her the people she loves and respects, and that they are not on Broadway, but are still incredibly talented people doing what they love.
I’m a single Mom, I can’t afford a $50K college price tag. So I will encourage my daughter to pursue what she loves… to make doing what she loves the focus, and not getting into a specific college or ending up on Broadway as the goal… but to do what she loves every day.
I have been following this thread and hoping (kind of) that I wouldn’t have to make this decision… But, alas, it is here! NYU or acceptances with scholarships that are half the cost. Temple 4 yrs would end up costing us the same as 1 yr and one month at NYU! I have no idea what we will do! But I appreciate all of the input and opinions on this that you have provided.
@sleepymom , if you’re able and willing to afford any of your D’s choices, IMO it can and should come down to her personal fit only. There are no “magic” schools. There is your D and who she is and the details of what SHE wants in a program.
My D’s freshman class at UArts includes at least a couple transfers from other BFA programs considered top tier, and there are probably UArts transfers at other schools; every school has had people go to other programs, I’m sure. Those transfers either attended their original schools for the wrong reasons (not focusing on fit), found out that the program wasn’t a good fit after attending, or went ahead and attended knowing the fit wasn’t right but fervently hoping that would change or that they were wrong. My point is that I’d forget about everything (including finances if I had that luxury, which I don’t) and really hone in on which is the best personal fit for your D now.
Good luck! I look forward to hearing what she decides.
Wow @sleepymom that’s a brutal comparison…gotta keep my opinion to myself lol or I’ll get into more trouble on this forum… but good luck to you on your decision. I am sure it is a difficult one.
UGH- I feel her “fit” is in the city! No doubt in my mind that it is where she belongs and wants to be!!! She had a huge merit scholarship at Pace and I prayed for that artistic acceptance but it was a NO. We can absolutely swing NYU with some sacrifice - And I am 80% sure that it is where she will end up. She keeps saying “sorry- I just want to be there- but I understand if you can’t do it”—which breaks my heart more! She is such a great kid! We live in the country and it is not her vibe at all… We will figure it out! I think at the end of the day- our best choices are hartt, nyu, and indiana U (we just loved it there- but she is on the short list) She has pulled herself off of 2 wait lists today and denied acceptance to miami
@sleepymom - my D was much the same way- she wanted it, but was afraid it would be too much. Her face when we told her that it would work was a fantastic moment. If you have any specific questions about NYU I can help with please feel free to ask/pm
Aww, @toowonderful , that gives me chills! So thrilling!
My D’s face was like that when she realized she could go to her school (because they gave her even more money than they already had) --pure joy and excitement! Seeing her face and reaction, I felt like crying for joy then, and I still get a thrill thinking about it.
I hope for those moments for all of you going through this! It makes all of the crazy moments in this nutty process worth it.
I guess I didn’t reply succinctly enough earlier, so I will try one more time to prevent any more unecessary butthurt. It was not my intention to “shame” anyone with the means or who can qualify for enough financial aid, scholarships, work or whatever to pay for $60k a year. Yay and congrats if that’s you! My point was that tuition is out of control and that no undergrad degree is worth that much GENERALLY speaking as relates to ROR. That’s not shaming people who choose to pay it. It’s just a fact.
Taking out huge loans to get through school will potentially hamstring a young adult from being able to choose broadly and take career risks. Carefully thinking about loans is not shaming anyone either. Sitting down and showing your kid exactly what the cost will be to them and to you is something that a lot of parents don’t do. Then their kid ends up with $700 or $800 a month in loans before they even get their first job. It’s tragic.
These kids also have the devil of a time trying to work while they are in school. There are not enough hours in the day to work, audition, homework, rehearse and perform. There is also the added expense of transportation if you don’t qualify for work study. I know my daughter routinely puts in 12-16 days. She just started working a “regular job” this year as a junior because she has a boss that is used to theatre kids needing weird schedules to work at all. She was not able to work the first two years other than her SP work which is well compensated but sporadic.
As far as OP paying for BOCO, only she can answer if that’s doable. Don’t know what her financial outlook is so I can’t say. Scholarships rarely match up with artistic acceptances, but when they do, I sure am happy to hear it!
Good luck to all incoming parents on their child’s decision!
P.S. I want to plug my 2009 Nissan Cube that I would still be driving if some idiot hadn’t totaled it. We had a lot of memorable college trips in that car!
I agree with everything @Walker1194 said, with the caveat that I think there’s much more than ROI involved in the value of college, especially given that it involves 4 of the most prime and most formative years of our kids’ lives. That said, I am guessing/hoping that something radically changes in the trend of skyrocketing tuition costs before much longer.
In the interest of full disclosure, we sold our 1999 Toyota Sienna yesterday, almost certainly to another hapless MT family.
@Walker1194 - I am not a fan of kids taking loans for college- and my D will graduate 100% debt free. But my husband and will be paying for her school for far longer than the 4 years. And ROI never entered into our heads. As MomCares mentioned- it was more about an incredible learning environment at a formative period in her life. And we would have done the same no matter what she had chosen as her major
Another ditto on not having my kids take out loans (though I am paying loans) and that Return on Investment never entered the picture and whatever we did to pay for college (and grad school) would have been the same no matter what major our kids chose. We paid for their education and the experiences they had during those years. We feel it was ALL worth it.
One way to help with college is to have your child apply to be an RA. They get free room and board My daughter did it this year and had planned on doing it again for her junior year but was offered a writing fellowship plus some other opportunities so she decided to forego doing it a second time. It saved me about $11,000 a year.
My daughter did it this year and had planned on doing it again for her junior year but was offered a writing fellowship plus some other opportunities so she decided to forego doing it a second time. It saved me about $11,000 a year.