I like the idea of visiting the counseling center for input but do suggest you try to lead how this starts out with proposing and update schedule. I would absolutely avoid daily, weekly tops. If you can, update via email so he has time to digest and then when on the phone I personally as much as possible would try to turn the conversation to you wanting to know what HE is up to and engaging him to talk about what is going on in his life.
I too suspect he will be worse at the start, he is losing perceived control and that will bother him. Don’t lie, don’t keep him in the dark but at the same time…keep it at what he really needs to know. If you are having trouble in class, pre-empt the concerns as best as possible with upfront reports on what you are doing to resolve it. Try to focus on the positives, the really cool thing you learned in X class or how fascinating a lab was or what have you that shows what you are getting out of the college experience in a very practical real life way.
Re: phone calls home…
Maybe start off by offering to call him once a week at a set day of the week & time. If he balks at this, offer twice a week. However, daily phone calls are over the top.
If he has a habit of peppering you with lots of text messages, then start now in setting expectations with him. For example:
- "Gee, Dad, you know, the professors consider it really rude if I have my cell phone out and am responding to a text message during class. So there will be times when I won't be able to reply right away. Please know that I will text you back as soon as I can and that I'm not purposely ignoring you."
- "I'm able to focus better when studying for a really tough test or exam if I have my phone in airplane mode, so there will also be times like that in which I won't get your text message or voicemail until later."
And even if you don’t follow all of his advice, you COULD earn a few respect brownie points from him prior to you leaving for college if you ask him for any suggestions, advice, or sage wisdom he’d have for a new college student. If he went to college, ask him about HIS experience at college. Ask him what HE did that seemed to work for him. Parents tend to enjoy talking about that sometimes. This might help out with the “respect your elders” social rule that he has. Also, even if some of his advice IS over the top with being overbearing, recognize that SOME of it might be practical advice because he does have a few years of experience over you.
Remind yourself, that you are a daughter of your father. You have at least the same amount of strength as your dad has, and probably more, since you are younger. Just smile and nod. And appreciate that he is helping you, financially. Smile, nod, text him daily (in the morning), and treat him as a child 
My father is the same as yours (I am 40+). When I talk to him on the phone, I read (simultaneously) some funny stories on the internet, just to keep a positive outlook. Smile and nod
When you get to college, turn your cell phone off in class. If your dad gets upset about that, tell him it is the professors’ rule. My students can have their phones out and on only in two cases: if I ask them to get them out to use them in a class activity, or if there is an emergency (heart attack, tornado, campus shooter, etc.).
If your parents insist on access to your grades, verify with your university that that access will only be for the grades in your transcript. Online access to your individual class grades will give him access to any online part of your classes, which in a class with online discussions will mean that he has access to everyone’s comments from that class - a violation of their rights and privacy. A college professor friend of mind no longer uses online discussion boards in her classes because of too many crazed parents accessing their kids’ data and class discussions.
One thing D kept repeating to us a few weeks into school, all the way across the country, was about how hard she was working, and how terrific her friends were at helping each other keep focus on all the schoolwork especially whenever they started to get homesick. She told us how she repeated to them something we had taught her - the best way to avoid getting down yourself is to do something for someone else, so they found one of the clubs that volunteers with the local community blah blah blah.
It was reassuring to us, and while we realize D is not going to tell us everything, we know she will tell us the important stuff. We also know she knows how to push our buttons - like her telling H she had a double date with her roommate and got to ride in a motorcycle sidecar…Or that she was going to volunteer to work on XXXX candidate’s political campaign…
My FIL is an ex military officer, 20+ years, he is bossy & controlling & thinks he knows best, for everyone. I wish I had realized much earlier in life many of the things people are suggesting. It was difficult for me to obfuscate, I guess I was never that teen who fibbed to my parents!
When we moved far away from their town I learned to make them feel involved and tell them lots of detail about the things I chose to share. I actually send them a weekly update on our lives and the kids, I did not have to talk to them, they could not ask uncomfortable questions, and they felt included and involved.
Set your own boundaries, internally and feel strength in those limits. Share freely of what you chose and keep some things to yourself.
I have not read the previous posts.
I suggest that you decide on a fairly regular schedule when you call/text/email and you decide what parts you will share and that you keep to that.
I am a therapist and advise that all phone calls be kept under 15 minutes–saying “have a dorm meeting” or “someone at the door.” Myself! I have stepped out to ring the doorbell when on a caustic call from my own mother.
Write a list ahead of time on what you are willing to talk about and share–nice things like what the dorm had for lunch
and so on…
My father was like OP’s father (from Taiwan too). What he said was gospel. We were not allowed to disagree with him. He was also very focused on our academic. To his credit, all of my siblings went to top tier schools. Back then we didn’t have cell phone or email, so contact was more limited, but coming home on vacations were always difficult. Looking back, I think that’s why I got married right out of college, because it was the only way I could move out of the house.
Thirty years later and now my father is gone, I think I understand why he behaved the way he did. As an immigrant, his fear was we couldn’t be self supporting some day. He thought by dictating what we should and shouldn’t do then some how he could “control” the outcome. Now I understand he did it out of love, but it still didn’t make it easy growing up.
I am sharing this to help OP understand possibly where her father is coming from. She is not going to change her father, but she can manage the situation until she is an adult in her father’s eyes (probably when she is married or fully employed).
I would be proactive in contacting the father when it is convenient for OP. She may share her schedule with her father, and call him every night (or every other night) when he is available and send him emails (my mom told us that my father was always happy when we emailed him). I wouldn’t leave it for him to call you (chase you down). I would keep the conversation to your school work, just keep on telling him how much work you have and how hard you have to study to get good grades. I would leave out most of social stuff because his imagination could just go wild (alcohol and drugs). You want him to have this image sealed in his head that his little girl is always in the library. If you don’t pick up the phone when he calls, it is because the phone is on silent while you are in the library. When you do get good grades then it would validate his image. I would also share with him on various club activities and school sponsored activities. Another word, keep everything PG.
By going to a school 8 hours away will give you a of freedom you wouldn’t have at home. It can be liberating, but it can also be too much for a person who has grown up with a controlling parent.
Daily calls are over the top IMO. If he pushes for frequent calls, suggest texting instead. It’s quick. If he’s not happy with a call once or twice a week see if something like a text every other day would satisfy him between calls. You coukd shoot off a quick text saying something about your classes that day, and when you text maybe also mention that you’ll be calling on whatever day you’ll call. "Just took a math test. I think I did well. I’m off to English class now. Will call you Sunday love, me’. Something like that.
Good luck.
It is not what we think is reasonable, what matters is what the father thinks is reasonable. OP is not going to train her father or teach her father set boundary. If she doesn’t contact him in the frequency he expects, my prediction is he would just make her life difficult. If she gets ahead of him then he most likely will leave her alone after a while. On the other hand, I am not sure if the father is really that controlling. The fact he is willing to go to a school 8 hours away says something.