My dog, who’s my only housemate, is dying; it’s too cold to go outside except for vital necessities; my new year’s resolution is to separate a bit from my job so I don’t want to fill my time with my work; my children live far away. Any tips for getting through this time? Thank you.
Hugs to you and your pup - savor the snuggles.
Remember that the weather is a temporary set back- it will change and get better.
While you may not be able to spend much time OUTSIDE, you can go outside to get other places. Go to your favorite library branch or try out a new one - bring a warm drink and sit for an hour or two in a bright place and read a book, page through a magazine, etc.
Enjoy a summer drink. I like to make fruit spritzers. Sparkling water with some citrus, pomegranate, cherries or other fruit plopped in - very refreshing!
Buy a new plant to take care of and enjoy the greenery of inside. Trader Joe or other stores will have something nice for under $10. Or just buy a small bouquet of anything colorful and put it in a place where you can see and enjoy it.
You aren’t alone. Let’s get through January!!! 
Cleaning and organizing around the house? I usually get a boost from seeing areas de-cluttered, plus it’s a physical activity, so that helps too.
Bake something and send it to your kids — even adults like getting care packages! Binge on Netflix or whatever you have. Bundle up and go for a walk in a nearby park or place you don’t usually see in the winter. Go to the library and scan the new arrivals shelf for something unexpected. Look online for a volunteer activity to start in the new year (that is one of my resolutions, once these darned shingles resolve themselves!). See if a friend wants to go for coffee or dinner or a movie. Is there a club or activity you’ve been wanting to try? (I watched a documentary on swing dancing last night and am very intrigued – I’m not a dancer, but it looked like so much fun!).
Swing dancing is awesome! I’m not very coordinated but I still love to do it. Great exercise.
The other thing I do in the winter is get together with a friend and walk the mall. We’ll make three circuits, talking the entire way. It’s fun to window shop and we burn a few calories. Then we stop for coffee. It really helps my mood a lot.
I go to different malls to mix it up. 
My retired brother recently went through this, though the weather wasn’t so bad at the time. He took his dog on a grand tour of all their favorite and important places: the place he got the dog, their favorite road trip park stop, the first time the dog saw a lake, etc. He chronicled the whole thing on FB, which is really unlike him, as he never posts on FB. It was astonishing how many people replied to him, shared their love for his dog, lifted his spirits. I know you can’t do the actual trip now due to weather, but perhaps even making a list of places you remember, or making a photo book of your dog in those places, would help you with the letting go process and lift your spirits. Hope this helps. Take care.
That would be nice! We have one mall - the Maine Mall. Even it is 30 minutes from my house.
have any neighbors…even those that you don’t know that well? I started reaching out to folks last year and it amazed me how many people are just waiting (and grateful) when anyone reaches out for any social invite.
First off, so sorry about your pup! Be kind to yourself. It’s really hard to say goodbye to a furry companion.
We are in the Chicago area and the extreme cold the last couple weeks have thrown off my routine and I feel out of sorts. I normally walk the dog every morning, and listen to podcasts or an audiobook. It’s one of my favorite things.
Since it’s been too cold to walk him, we are both more than a little stir crazy.
I also fill my time with work! I’ve found it helps a LOT to have at least one thing on the calendar each week to look forward to. Although I’m introverted, and although I like to be home, I’ve noticed I do better when I’ve got something planned. And I’m talking really simple, low expectation kinds of things on the calendar. If I don’t make an effort to plan little social get togethers here and there, the days just blur into working days, and working from or at home days.
I joined a hiking club which goes out every Sunday, and you don’t have to RSVP, just show up! That’s been life-changing. There are a lot of Meet-Up groups in our area too. and I’ve been out hiking with one of those groups.
It seems like there are a lot of people out there who just want someone to do something with, not necessarily looking for their next best friend.
Also, these are the shortest days of the year. I use a dawn simulator lamp, a negative ionizer, AND a light box at my office desk. See www.cet.org for product recommendations.
Hugs!
I am also going to recommend Meet-up groups. I’ve been to a few, some just social meals, some with a focus - singing, bowling. I tend to stick to events in a small radius but some folks travel a bit to join in.
Volunteer somewhere, even if you don’t feel like it at first. I went through a pretty awful depression much of last year, but once I plugged into my church and started volunteering in one of the community outreach programs, I began to feel a renewed sense of purpose. Therapy also helped, so don’t overlook that!
Find a nice yoga studio, with a gentle yoga class.
Does your local library have a book group?
Hugs. So hard to lose our beloved dogs.
The best thing I ever did was buy the warmest winter coat on the planet! Now I can go out, no matter how frigid it is without dread. It was pricey but so worth it. So now that is all sorted, I am much more active in winter. I take yoga class once a week and after my friend and I go to local coffee shop. We order and then go sit in the back room which has comfy sofas and chairs and the fireplace going and chat for another hour.
Another friend and I walk our middle school (it’s open for walkers late in the afternoon and much closer than the mall) when it’s too cold for my dogs to walk (like the last few weeks, save for a day here and there.) I also bought season tickets to the theatre to force H and me out of the house at least one Saturday night a month. We are having fun trying new restaurants in the city the theatre is in.
I play tennis indoors twice a week from Sept-April. My mah jongg game is on hiatus as two of the girls are now snowbirds and the other is a snowflake. I really miss it but have enough things to keep me busy and out of the house.
I’m so sorry about your dog, it is so devastating to lose your beloved companion. We recently lost one of our beautiful cavaliers and I thought I could never be happy again…but it passes, and it gets better every day. Not that it helps you right now, though. :o3
I definitely think you should take up emily’s suggestion of getting a super warm coat. Something that will help you get out of the house more often.
I also suggest doing small, short term pleasurable things, and plan for long term adventures. For example, I just love going to one of those age 21 and over theatres with the reclining seats, red wine and delicious popcorn brought to your seat. Whether I’m with my husband, a friend, or I’ll even go by myself. It gets me out of the house and is always something I enjoy. Maybe a particularly tasty restaurant every now and then. But get out somehow, find a way to have social contact. Think about what things you enjoy doing and figure out a way to do them…particularly with others. There are meetups for everything, and classes in so many areas.
Another thing is to plan something to look forward to, something major, like a trip or big event. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but just something that you’d really love to do. If you enjoy researching travel, that would help take away some of the misery. Maybe plan to go somewhere warm!
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I,too, live in an area that has long, cold winters. My two D’s live far enough away to not be able to visit often. And my beloved cat is 15. I’ve also been dealing with other dental and health issues.
i find that if I am busy, it helps. My H and I also make it a point to go somewhere warm at some point in the winter. Don’t know if that is an option for you. I also volunteer at my churches Soup to Go program in the winter. We make fresh, healthy soup to be distributed to anyone who asks for it. It goes to mostly elderly and people in need.
And I also, with much resistance on my part, agreed to start taking a very low dose of an antidepressant. It has made a difference. I am no longer so down and my mood i has mellowed. My H loves it.
Even if you stay inside, make sure you are moving. If I’m stuck at home, I will walk up and down the steps repeatedly, or do lunges around a big circular area. I have little weights I use for my rms while watching TV. Just doing any kind of moving is better than sitting all day, and I think it really does help pick me up a little.
I recommend reading (others have suggested the library and book groups) and learn to knit. It is a relaxing hobby, great when it is cold out, and you get a real sense of pride and accomplishment when you can wear a scarf you created. Most yarn stores have knitting groups where you can learn (my library has one also).
Another thought I had today. If I’m out of sorts I might waste a lot of time with the tv on but not really watching anything I like or of value. During the crappy weather limit your tv time BUT make your tv time worthwhile by watching a special series - so not binging tv - because you’re not watching episode after episode BUT make the tv you watch count - and then turn it off inbetween episodes so when you do watch it’s with excitement and something fresh…not just channel flipping.
@rosered55 I am so sorry. Losing a dog is so, so hard.
My old dog died in August, following my mom’s death last January, and each of the past two years, an old cat. I also turned 60, so for a while (despite having a young teen at home) it seemed the world was going grey and spinning slower and slower.
This may not be a good solution for you at all, but a couple of kittens brought much-needed comic relief and a more youthful spirit at home. Though I was sad about the aging and deaths of my pets,I had thought that the attrition of furry beings was a good thing from a practical standpoint. But I gave in to my daughter’s begging for a young animal, and then two months later, also gave in to the plight of a homeless kitten on the street. Now I wouldn’t trade seeing them frolic together even though it means daily fur to sweep up.) The first kitten was brought home before the dog died and, I think (because it wasn’t another dog to compete with) the dog wasn’t distressed by the new pet. Also, being a different species, it didn’t feel like I was replacing the dog.
Also, I find that ordering seeds and watching a few seedlings sprout in the dead of winter helps (even though its easier just to buy plants in the spring.) My love of gardening actually started one sad, seemingly endless winter in Calgary, Alberta eons ago when I bought (on impulse) an everything-included kit of assorted seeds, tray, soil-mix etc. It was magical when the little things actually germinated and grew. That spring I became like an obsessed first-time mom digging worm casings and such into the soil, and the lupines and poppies that started in that tray were pretty amazing. Even if you’re not really into gardening, one packet of seedlings destined to be a small patch of flowers or vegetables can be welcoming to come home to. If you have a south-facing window or invest in a grow-light shelf, you can start them as early as February if you repot them to larger containers as they grow.
On the other hand, if you’re feeling tired of responsibilities, others’ suggestions of planning a trip sounds great! Is there anyplace you always wanted to visit? TripAdvisor.com has question/answer forums and reviews for just about anywhere and everywhere.
If you’re at all a visual person, making Pinterest boards online of your favorite things can be a lovely way to spend a winter evening.
Yes to any kind of exercise in these frigid days. I feel better just climbing up and down the stairs a few times intermittently throughout the day if I can’t face a walk or even getting into a cold car to get to the Y. Getting the heartbeat up for just a few minutes helps!
Hugs to you and your sweet dog…