How do you handle your child ignoring your texts?

<p>I have one kid who is a great communicator and sends me random funny photos via whatsapp. Then there’s his brother, the text-mute… When he deigns to respond to my msg, it burns me up that he can’t be bothered text back a complete word. He’ll respond with “K” instead of “OK” ~X( </p>

<p>Hmmm. I respond with “K”. Its test speak. Didnt know it wasn’t ok.</p>

<p>There’s nothing wrong w “K”. It’s just that I am frustrated w getting only “K” after no communication for a 2 weeks.</p>

<p>Ah. That is not “k”. :wink: Here’s a thought-- get the new iphone 6 and you can now send voice texts. They have to click on it to hear what it says. There’s risk they wont listen to it, but at least for the very first one they might be intrigued :slight_smile: I sent one to DS#2 yesterday- told him I found a new way to pester him. He listened to it but didnt respond </p>

<p>I feel like having a speaking text defeats the purpose of a text :stuck_out_tongue: </p>

<p>That’s cute though. I don’t know anyone with an iphone 6 but I want to see it out of curiosity lol. I feel like my father would abuse that feature like he’s abused snapchat. </p>

<p>if they are ignoring you it is probably something stupid</p>

<p>Advice - ask yourself what you’re texting them about, what else they have going on in their life right now, why you can only demand “respect,” and why you define respect as responding to texts that may or may not require a response. </p>

<p>When D1 went to college I was probably keeping too close tabs on her, but she was OK with my texts asking her how her day was and saying good night each night. She just graduated in June and I still text her every night; I don’t see that stopping anytime soon since she is on her own. She also stays in touch with me particularly if she travels anywhere. When she traveled on metro late at night and coverage was not good, it was stressful but she was always very good about letting me know when to expect to hear from her. D2 has always been very chatty, particularly with her Dad so he hears from her all day long and she is very busy with studies, internship and she is very cautious travelling. However, during her sophomore year her phone went dead and I did not hear from her for several hours and it was night so after texting friends and finding no one knew where she was I called campus police who were very good about checking on her and she was very embarassed and called me to tell me that…she no longer lets her phone go dead. :slight_smile: My youngest is senior in HS and she is going to be the problem with the phone, she has the phone but texting or calling is not what she uses it for…twitter is her choice and I follow her so that is how I know what she is up to…yeah we’ll have a chat before she goes off to college next year on this!</p>

<p>Last night D2 texted me asking if I was available to talk. I called her and she sobbed her little heart out about a boyfriend situation. We talked for an hour. Today I texted her “how are you feeling today?” I got a snippy “I’m not thinking about that! It’s not deserving of my attention!” Lol, well EXCUSE ME. :D</p>

<p>I have long realized that they only want to talk when they want to talk. :)</p>

<p>Some of my texts are FYI, it’s ok to respond or not. Some requires a response. So it depends on the situation.
My second kid often sends ty, kk, The first kid not so much, she is the one who sends more emoticons.</p>

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<p>I don’t think the responsiveness to texts or lack thereof is strictly an issue with college aged students and parents, but a communication issue which applies to all ages and is more an issue of personality and/or communication style. </p>

<p>Some folks welcome or desire constantly being in contact via text/phone…sometimes almost 24/7. Others among us prefer only to text/call if something is important enough it cannot wait and would sometimes feel irritated at entitled expectations from others for a relatively instantaneous response. </p>

<p>Especially if it took place during classes/working hours or moments when we’re preparing to or are in the midst of performing something which requires concentrated attention. </p>

<p>Part of where I’m coming from on this is observing how my manager and Prof/TAs in post-college courses having to deal with colleagues/students who cannot seem to put off fiddling with their cellphones even while working or in the midst of lecture. </p>

<p>In the latter case, the Prof had to ask the TAs to shut off and collect all cellphones in a box which was placed in front of his lecturn to ensure there was one less distraction for him and his class. In the workplace, I’ve seen employees being threatened with termination over this issue. </p>

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<p>^^^This. How can there be any right or wrong here? Parents and kids will eventually find what works, but forcing communication almost never works, at least not to the satisfaction of the chattier party.</p>

<p>Our 14-year-old went off to boarding school three years ago. We never text. I’m lucky if I talk to him once every two weeks, but that works for him. He’s just too busy and only chatty when he wants to be (in person, though, he loves to talk and is very affectionate, breaks and summers are great). It would not work at all if I tried to set up a regular conversation; I’d only get a lot of silence on the other end followed by a “Gee, mom, I’ve got to go.” On the Prep School forum, there are those who tell me they would die with so little communication. Others have similar kids and are thankful they are not alone. DS is a senior now, and I’m sure that I will probably hear even less from him in college, but I don’t consider him a child at 18, and I will not have any expectation that he is required to respond to any non-urgent communication. Pretty much our agreement now, but that’s how it is in our family. No right or wrong here.</p>

<p>I realized that the more I obsess about my daughter answering a text, the more they will ignore. We agreed on a rule that they will call or text once a day. If there is an emergency, I will leave a message. My daughter knows better than to break the rule. I have the #'s of all her friends and some of her professors are acquaintances of mine. Really helpful to know people :smiley: </p>

<p>To lend a student’s perspective here:</p>

<p>I have an iPhone, but I’m on it a minuscule fraction of the amount of time compared to most people my age. When I come home, I put my phone in a basket by the door or on my desk and leave it for hours. </p>

<p>I try to reply to my parents’ texts, but I’m not really huge on telecommunications, so I keep it short.</p>

<p>“I realized that the more I obsess about my daughter answering a text, the more they will ignore. We agreed on a rule that they will call or text once a day. If there is an emergency, I will leave a message. My daughter knows better than to break the rule. I have the #'s of all her friends and some of her professors are acquaintances of mine. Really helpful to know people :smiley:”</p>

<p>Stalker much. Yikes. </p>

<p>After 2 weeks of radio silence and a couple ignored texts, I sent the following text. "I’m so needy. I feel like a jilted ex-girlfriend. Call meeeeeee, phuleeeeese! :0 " He called me back, laughing, immediately. My S isn’t a bad kid and we have a great relationship. He’s just busy and enjoying his college life. He really doesn’t think about me that much!</p>

<p>^^^I love it!!</p>

<p>As a kid on college I can say that my parents text me 100 times more often in 10 minutes than any of my friends do the entire day. But the majority of the texts are also just “hi”. If you want us to respond then say something we can respond to. And don’t do it 24 times every half hour.</p>

<p>They are teenagers. Don’t worry if they don’t text you back. Send an update by text or email once in awhile telling them what you are up to and how things are going (just try to focus mainly on positives, you don’t want them to worry) and they will eventually reply in due time. If you see they are posting on Instagram, at least you know they are fine, and that is what counts.</p>

<p>It’s true, that with all the options for communications now - we are not limited to the one landline, rotary phone that hangs in the kitchen, that has a party line - we have cell phones, land line phones, email, facebook, texting, and more, it seems more difficult to communicate with others, including our children who are away at college.</p>

<p>My child has a rigorous course load, and is very busy with work and other activities - my emails go ignored, or, if read, not all questions are answered. If I want a full response, I text “Call me now”. We also Skype during the weekends during a scheduled time and date. If something is important, I will include that in the correspondence and request a response.</p>

<p>Parents who experience college students ignoring communications might consider doing the same - don’t respond to their texts or emails, at minimum, not right away, and see what happens. If it’s important, they will re-contact you and keep trying. I discovered this inadvertently the other day - we had an important guest for dinner, and our child had emailed questions for the guest. I did read the email, but was so busy with food preparations that I did not respond - but had printed up the email and planned to ask the questions. Our child called and called our house until we answered the phone, to make sure we had received the email and that we would ask the questions of our guest - commenting - “You did not respond to my email!”</p>