<p>How do you start over? Get as close to square one as possible and change for the better?</p>
<p>Relocating…surround yourself with new people in a new environment.</p>
<p>act differently with yourself. make a conscience effort to NOT repeat what you don’t like. its hard. but start with short term goals because immediate long term ones fail quick.</p>
<p>first of all, decide exactly what you want to change</p>
<p>I’m thinking about changing my last name.</p>
<p>you murder someone and steal their identity. or you go into the witness protection program</p>
<p>Be yourself. That’s it. If you’ve been around people your whole life and tried fitting in, you won’t be able to relax around them. So, like everyone said, surround yourself with new people while being true to yourself.</p>
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<p>I want to be less bland and have a more exciting life with deep and enduring friendships. I feel like I live the life of an overprotected 12-year-old. It’s partly my fault for being so reclusive and giving into social failures in the past, but I want to reverse that now.</p>
<p>I want to be more charismatic, know all the right moves socially. I’m horrible at nonverbal cues, so I’m pretty awkward. I wish I could get rid of my anxiety. I want to be fashionable and appealing without looking like an airhead and above all be fun. </p>
<p>I want to learn how to drive. Get a job. Party on weekends. Live life and get out of this limited bubble. I have a feeling that 2009 is going to be an life altering year, something amazing will happen, I can feel it.</p>
<p>I never expected to have a featured thread. Thank you!</p>
<p>Change on the inside is reflected outward.</p>
<p>Counseling or other introspective kind of interior work will help you identify barriers to becoming the full person you want to be. If you have been affected by alcoholism or drug addiction, then Al-anon or Al-ateen can provide a supportive atmosphere to try out new behaviors. </p>
<p>Bibliotherapy (reading books on change and doing the exercises) can also help.</p>
<p>^ I was always thinking of doing bibliotherapy, but I was never quite motivated until now. Someone recommended “The Portable Therapist” to me and I’m thinking of using the book’s advice.</p>
<p>Ever watch “The Talented Mr. Ripley”?</p>
<p>Try that approach.</p>
<p>One book: Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss. It will change your life exactly the way you want to.</p>
<p>I believe that significant life experiences can help you change who you are.
Is there some place you’ve always wanted to go? Something crazy you’ve never had the guts to do? Do sky diving, travel to a different continent, swim with dolphins, that’s what I’m talking about 
Just something that will help you find some confidence in yourself.</p>
<p>Sometimes, reinventing yourself is blocked by fears. Three steps for handling fear that I read somewhere and seem to work wonders:</p>
<ol>
<li>Admit you are afraid</li>
<li>Let the fear really sink in so your whole body feels it</li>
<li>Act as if you were unafraid</li>
</ol>
<p>^ Nice, simple advice. I hope I can remember this whenever I face an issue.</p>
<p>The problem is that I’m shackled by my environment. I don’t come from a poor neighborhood, but it’s not exactly a stimulating one to be proud of either. I think in order to truly reinvent oneself, one needs money to do so. I am trying to find a job and if I don’t get the census bureau job, I’ll be so sad that I’ll have to look for something less suitable for me. I need to overcome my anxiety about driving or I’ll feel trapped.
In the meantime, I’m taking advantage of my school resources to the fullest extent possible. It gives me hope and as I’m saying before, I hope this sudden burst of motivation doesn’t fade away.</p>
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<p>I really think this is very good advice. It’s not enough just to try and act differently - that can come off as fake and obnoxious. If you want to change, you’ve got to change your mental state as well.</p>
<p>This is the only example I can think of right now (sorry, might be a poor one). A guy is shy and can’t approach girls. It’s not enough for him to simply start acting cocky or approaching girls. This comes off as obnoxious or creepy. He has to actually change his mental state to one of confidence. Eventually, it should come naturally to him.</p>
<p>I think TA3021 needs some of this confidence. It seems like fear and anxiety hold you back, but if you could become a more confident person, this stuff seems to magically disappear. Of course, that’s more easily said than done. Focus on the things you are good at. Realize that things really aren’t as bad as we always make them out to be. Stop being afraid of everything, etc etc. Perhaps a little inspiration would do the trick?</p>
<p>i introduced myself with a new nickname that i thought i always wanted to go by. now everyone calls me it, and i hate it.</p>
<p>[Amazon.com:</a> How to Win Friends & Influence People: Dale Carnegie: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671723650/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671723650/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top)</p>
<p>great book. i think it’s something everyone should read</p>
<p>I have improved a lot since this thread began. Yet I wonder if this is it. I’m satisfied with my life now, but if it stays just like this months from now I will be sad.
A week ago, I finally came out of my shell. A personality that I didn’t know I had just bursted out of me and everyone loved it. I ended up making friends. I’m not to the point where I can call and Facebook them regularly, but I feel like I’m nearly a part of their group. I just hope they’re not one of those people who come and go in my life or drift away from me. I’m afraid of the momentum dying.
My social life is the best it has ever been, yet I keep thinking, “Is that all there is?”</p>
<p>just don’t limit yourself. be the person you’ve always wanted to be. you can change your clothes cut your hair get better friends…</p>
<p>edt: people come and go in your life. it is possible that the friends you have now may drift away from you. if that happens it’s not a bad thing. people latch onto those who are at a simliar place in their lives. if you split from your friends it just means your life is in a difference place. </p>
<p>i don’t really know how to explain it but when you lose a friend and continune to be happy, better ones will come.</p>
<p>the momentum lies with you. if you are still not happy it means that the life you’re living is not what is best for you. instead of trying to have friends and a social life for the sake of having one, be selective and find those who truly care about u as a person and share your interests.</p>