<p>Now that this trip is a non-issue, think about college visits. Will your son drive to them? Our D made her first driving out-of-town trip three hours away for a college visit. She went with a buddy to a school that I suspected wasn’t going to be a contender in the long run. They did fine.</p>
<p>I think you exercised good judgment and your S has to learn to deal with the choices HE makes with the options he has. It is not our job to be “pals” with our kids, but to make the best choices with the info & resources available to us. Our kids never did any long drives until S had the car shipped to him. He drove the car from the dock in San Diego back to LA, which is not THAT long, but longish compared to the 30 minute or less driving he had done prior to that. The next longest trip he made was when he & D drove LA to SF to visit relatives for Spring Break. </p>
<p>So much depends on the driver & kids involved, conditions expected en route, familiarity with where they’re going, and similar issues. I trust my S as a pretty good driver–D has a lot less hours behind the wheel, so we’re not as enthused about her driving in heavy freeway traffic without a good co-pilot sitting beside her. She has chosen not to drive yet in LA, but does have a license.</p>
<p>I think you were way overprotective and deserve his anger. Sheesh. It’s not like driving in Mexico where the roads could be full of bandits. Chicago to what–Madison or maybe Bloomington or Purdue?? Virtually all freeways. Toughest part is paying all the tolls. Tougher to drive from Evanston to Chicago via Lakeshore Drive.</p>
<p>My junior son will be driving with friends 4 hours for a weekend event in April, and it doesn’t have me overly concerned at all. Of course I’ll be glad to hear that he got there and be glad to see him when he gets home - heck I have those feelings every time he drives to school, a movie or to work. I mean, his summer job has him responsible for the lives of up to 25 7-15 year olds out on a lake - he’d better be capable of safety and good judgment!</p>
<p>When my oldest kid was a senior, I was very aware that he would be moving out in less than a year and it was time to start seeing him as capable. You want to be careful of telling them too often that they can’t handle what’s out there in the world - you sure don’t want them to start believing it!</p>
<p>I was probably more worried the first time he rode his bike around the block unaccompanied than I will be when he drives on a 4 hour trip in April. And yes, when he didn’t show up at home as quickly as I thought he should, I went out looking for him. Which of course resulted in him coming home to an empty house and calling his grandparents because his mom disappeared. LOL</p>
<p>We all set boundaries we’re comfortable with and our kids chaff against them. OP - you are just doing your best to raise your son like any of us - kudos.</p>
<p>But you might want to start thinking about smaller trips you can send him on so that he continues to develop confidence in his abilities to handle things and you continue to grow more comfortable with him heading out to take the world on soon!</p>
<p>Pinot - You make a very good point. S is very responsible, but H and I do not feel he has enough experience to drive long distances. We need to look for opportunities for him to gain the experience. The frustrating part is that he waited until he was 17 to get his license (just not that interested) and everytime we ARE travelling, he’d much rather sleep!</p>
<p>We have always lived away from our extended family, thus my senior D has experienced many an 8-10 hour road trip. Since getting her license, she has helped drive several times for 3 hour segments. Last spring we allowed her and a friend to drive from the Chicago western suburbs to visit their university siblings 2-3 hours away. The directions were to get on this interstate and go south, and another and go towards Indiana, then follow the signs south to Champaign. All went well. On the return trip, however, we began to worry as they were late. Finally we called and inquired as to where they were. Just coming to Indiana was the reply. We didn’t think about giving her specific return directions as they were the same, just flipped. She got on the second interstate and went towards Indiana just like on the way down – instead of west towards Iowa. She learned a valuable lesson about interstate driving and it only cost her an hour and bit of gas. She and the same friend want to go again. This time she probably won’t be allowed to go. It’s not the driving we are worried about, it’s that the visit coincides with U of I Unofficial St. Patricks Day weekend…but that’s another issue…</p>
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<p>Love that story, pinotnoir! :)</p>
<p>All of our girls had experience doing relatively long distance drives by the time they finished high school. It’s not unusual here. Two of my girls had to drive to and from their high school, which was a 45 minute drive each way and they drove two other kids, too. At their school, there were always 2-3 theatre trips a year to Stratford to see shows and the kids and teachers drove, they didn’t rent a bus. It was about a 2 or 2 1/2 hr. drive. No one ever had a problem with that. Kids here also often drive north of the city into cottage country. My girls certainly did it, and also drove down into the U.S., crossing the border to visit friends in western NY. Not at all unusual here but clearly it will depend on the kid, how much you trust their driving ability, and the amount of experience they have. The problem is if you never let them do it, they’ll never get the experience!</p>
<p>I know the matter has been settled (in my opinion unfairly, but that’s not for me to decide) but I definitely agree with the people telling you to let your son drive further distances.
A few months I got my permit (16) I became part of the driver rotation for longer family trips. The first long distance I drove on my own was my sister (then 14) and two friends to a concert about two hours away then back again that night. It was a week before my eighteenth birthday, and until then the limit had been an hour (apart from a trip to pick my dad’s car up from Newark airport where my mom drove home behind me), but it was never questioned whether or not I should be allowed to drive. My mother just trusted me. My father didn’t, but didn’t even notice it went on. He still gets mad when he finds out I get on the Metro to DC alone. The result of this is that I no longer listen to his advice concerning what I should and shouldn’t do. My mother has my ear because I know there is respect there.
But I digress. After that summer with a few short trips here and there (never more than an hour or two alone), I got in my car and drove the 250 miles from NY to UMD. I had driven it on my own once, but with my mother in the car for orientation. Since then I have been driving back and forth about once a month. At home I often drive into Manhattan, Brooklyn, the Bronx and Queens. (I’m fine in DC, but I prefer not to subject myself to those streets when the metro stop is actually closer to where I live than my car is.) I’m comfortable with driving now.
I have many friends (both from Maryland and New York) who are still terrified of highway driving. Their fear of it actually makes them worse drivers. (I’ve had a friend pull over at a rest stop so we could switch because she was convinced we were going to die.) The thing is everyone still expects them to be able to drive long distances. The difference is now their parents don’t know that we decided to drive up to Pennsylvania for a concert. Some of my friends had their first experiences in long distance driving without their parents knowing after they went to college. No kid is going to tell their friends no because they “don’t feel comfortable with it”. They’re going to suck it up, get behind the wheel of a car, and not know what they’re doing.</p>
<p>Everyone always thinks their kid would never get distracted or do anything risky. Unfortunately that is not always true. We didn’t allow the kids to drive longer distances alone until they were older and had many hours of long distance highway driving experience with us. And no more than one passenger even for local driving all through HS. Based on current research, would not have allowed a permit (sexist as it sounds, especially for a boy) before 16 regardless of state law: </p>
<p>[Laying</a> Down the Law for Your Teen Driver — Edmunds.com](<a href=“http://www.edmunds.com/car-safety/laying-down-the-law-for-your-teen-driver.html]Laying”>http://www.edmunds.com/car-safety/laying-down-the-law-for-your-teen-driver.html)</p>
<p>Three or more additional teenage passengers in a car TRIPLE the risk of death (not injury - death). Just as the article recommends, I feel strongly that parents need to know they can say no, regardless of what state law allows, based on their kid’s abilities and experience level. We do not even know the first thing about the OP’s son - what’s really unfair is for anyone here to judge the OP’s decision, sight unseen. Even so, I would not allow HS aged kids to drive together in such a large group. It’s not worth it.</p>
<p>my senior S has driven 4 hours today and will drive another 2 hours tomorrow to get home. he drives 50 miles round trip to school everyday.</p>