How good/bad is it?

[butterbattle]

<p>Is it too abstract? Is it too common? Does it show who I am?</p>

<p>

In middle school, I almost failed several classes. Lazy, easily confused, and a chronic procrastinator, I was indifferent to the future. My seventh grade English teacher even called me the absent-minded professor; she believed that I was one of the most intelligent students she had ever met, but that a crucial piece was missing from my puzzle. Another teacher explained it in a similar fashion, stating, “The brains are there, but no one’s home.”</p>

<p>I was lucky. If my life had evolved a different way, if I had not met the right people or bumped into the right opportunities, I probably would have drowned in pessimism and narrow-mindedness instead of grasping the reins on my life and taking control. In fact, I would not be writing this sentence right now if it had not been for a single moment.</p>

<p>I was sitting outside at night, listening to my mother and stepfather arguing and threatening to divorce each other in the background, searching the sky for stars erased by light pollution, when I realized that people everywhere were bored of life, including me. However, it was not because life was inherently dull, but because I had allowed myself to be bored, never taking the initiative and settling for mediocrity. In that fateful moment, I promised myself that I would make life exciting. I promised to rise above the average, to become extraordinary.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, it was easier to say it than to actually do it. Even when the resolution lingered in my head, I still could not defeat my disgusting habits. Thus, it grew into a long and bitter mental war with two well-entrenched sides. Yet, slowly, a little bit at a time, slightly more effort in some work or a touch of enthusiasm in some activity, the promise gained ground.</p>

<p>To this day, the two opposites are still locked in their eternal struggle. But now, I know which side I’m on, and I am winning.

</p>

[ivelina]

<p>hello butterbattle
I just joined this site today so I don’t know how much you can trust me for feedback, but I liked your essay
I just think that the moment you are talking about sounds a little too general - at least to me. Just like this all of a sudden you realized it? May be you can include some more of the thought process you went through that night.
still, this is just the way I feel. May be someone can give you different advise.
Good luck</p>

[asdfjkl1]

<p>I actually like it. There’s something about it that is quite nice. I love the ending. But, I must agree with ivelina about paragraph 4and paragraph 2. But, the rest is really great. Just try to make those a bit more specific so it maintains that same ‘voice’ in part 1 and 3.</p>