How is my mustard essay?

Colleges & Universities University of Chicago
1

<p>I love the subtleties and details of life; the small things really appeal to me, but here I am posed to think about super-huge mustard. Super-huge anything pretty much intrinsically goes against everything I stand and hope for. I envision an economically efficient society, driven by less x-inefficiency and less excess, and I don’t think that huge jars of mustard are steps in the right direction. Throughout history, hugeness has never solved anything. Take the buildup of weapons during the Cold War. Unspeakable amounts of resources were wasted on weapons that one really efficient weapon could have taken care of nowadays. Scale that idea down to the idea of mustard: why not just have more efficient mustard? Just as now the idea of massive amounts of weapons seems ridiculous, hopefully, in the future, huge jars of mustard will as well.</p>

<p>Whenever I watch a movie from a handful of years ago that involves a scene in which characters talk on cell phones, I’m always surprised. The phones on which people are talking are super-huge and anachronistic! I bet back then (then being a handful of years ago), people used to wonder why on earth someone would want such a large phone. Sure, people bought the phones, but only because it beat the alternative, not having any phone at all. Hopefully, society will progress from having huge, unwieldy jars of mustard to something more compact.</p>

<p>The jars are just begging to be reduced in size. When I see a big jar of mustard, I envision a future of mustard pellets that could expand when adding liquid (water or saliva, for example). You’ll still get the entire flavor, but you won’t need a super-huge jar of mustard. The science doesn’t seem out of the question; after all, similar things have been done with chili extract. Capsaicin (8-methyl N-vanillyl 6-nonenamide) is the active component of chili peppers; it produces the burning sensation. Now, it needs to be diluted, but you don’t have to have giants jars of it because it just isn’t necessary.</p>

<p>The bigger problem standing in the way of things, however, might just be the way in which we view the world. Americans traditionally have this “bigger is better” mentality, which applies from everything to cars to houses to food (including mustard!). I, however, think that this is eventually going to be phased out in favor of a more mature approach to life; there is elegance in simplicity.</p>

<p>I compare it to my writing style. I now know that the goal in writing is clarity. When I first started writing, however, my writing was flowery and verbose, marked with sesquipedalian effulgence. I enjoyed the ornate, over-the-top decoration of my words. As my style matured, however, I began to adopt a more minimalist, concise approach. It might require a bit more effort on my part to find the best words to do the job, but in the end, everyone else who reads my writing is pleased.</p>

<p>Maybe in the minimalist future for which I hope, people might even have nostalgic thoughts of big jars of mustard. To me, those people are Luddites. On with the future!</p>

2

<p>I wrote a critique but decided to not post it. I think you can put more work into this essay.</p>

3

<p>it’s a great essay! submit that one, exactly how it is! after all, i want to get into chicago and don’t need any tough competition</p>

4

<p>i like it. the concept is great, the wording is decent</p>

5

<p>Haaaaaha. First, I wrote a long, salty bashing of the essay like j10cpc5000, then trashed it for the same reason as RR.</p>

<p>Sorry, I’m just a prick like that.</p>

6

<p>Parts of it are really cute, but I don’t think it’s safe to compare mustard to nuclear weapons. It seems a bit … callow.</p>

7

<p>its too self-indulgent. and you cant say you’re not verbose anymore if you use words like anachronistic which, by the way, sticks out badly as something you found in a thesaurus.</p>

<p>(luckily, i know what it [and all other “A” words] mean because I studied the A section for SAT Verbal and then gave up. so i also know antediluvian. and alluvial. and aegis. etc. etc.)</p>

8

<p>Thanks guys. No, seriously: I don’t know anything about writing college essays, and want to be able to move in the right direction. </p>

<p>Is this an improvement?</p>

<p>Super-huge anything, including mustard, pretty much intrinsically goes against everything I stand and hope for. I envision an economically efficient society, driven by less x-inefficiency and less excess, and I don’t think that huge jars of mustard are steps in the right direction. Throughout history, hugeness has never solved anything. Take the buildup of weapons during the Cold War. Unspeakable amounts of resources were wasted on weapons that one really efficient weapon could have taken care of nowadays. Scale that idea down to the idea of mustard: why not just have more efficient mustard, perhaps in the form of mustard extract? Just as now the idea of massive amounts of weapons seems ridiculous, hopefully, in the future, huge jars of mustard will as well.</p>

<p>The bigger problem standing in the way of things, however, might just be the way in which we view the world. Americans traditionally have this “bigger is better” mentality, which applies to everything from cars to houses to food (such as mustard). I, however, think that the bigger is better mentality is going to be phased out in favor of a simpler, more mature approach to life, an approach that celebrates the elegance in simplicity.</p>

<p>When I first started writing, my writing was flowery and verbose. I enjoyed the ornate, over-the-top decoration of my words. As my style matured, however, I began to adopt a more minimalist, concise approach. It might require a bit more effort on my part to find the best words to do the job, but in the end, everyone else who reads my writing is pleased.</p>

<p>I think that my growth as a writer was a result of my growth and maturation as a person. Our writing reflects our personality. Growing up, I was pretty insecure about myself, but I knew I was smart. My insecurity manifested itself by having me use a lot of big words just for the sake of using big words. This translated into my writing, in the form of sesquipedalian effulgence. But as I matured, and learned to be more comfortable with myself as a person, I could better express myself. I no longer had to resort to defense mechanisms, such as big words, and the clarity and quality of my writing dramatically improved.</p>

<p>The “less is more” philosophy applies to food just as much as it applies to writing. I used to think that the only way to eat a hamburger was to slather it in ketchup in mustard. But recently, as an experiment in shying away from American celebration of more-ness, I tried a hamburger sans condiments. Without globs of ketchup and mustard to distract me, I was able to savor the taste of meat on bread, something that never occurred to me as delectable. </p>

<p>As I try to become more minimalist, I find myself growing and maturing even more as a person. It’s ironic, isn’t it? I want to share my findings with others, perhaps even effect a change in attitude of my country. We don’t necessarily have to abandon our celebration of greatness, but we can adapt our perspective to include realizing that sometimes greatness comes from very little.</p>

9

<p>dude the taste of meat is disgusting.</p>

<p>“As I try to become more minimalist, I find myself growing and maturing even more as a person. It’s ironic, isn’t it?”
theres nothing ironic about that.</p>

10

<p>1) i like meat. sorry.
2) i was hoping to hint at how less is more is almost ironic because it isn’t obvious … ill make my wording more obvious … </p>

<p>but on the whole, is it better or worse?</p>

11

<p>dude, i’m sorry, but your essay is just plain bad. your writing voice is on par with that of a seventh grader’s. your discussion of the essay topic is perfunctory; it manages to miss the point as to WHY these jars are so big while simulataneously being unoriginal. it’s obvious americans think bigger is better, but you need to show you did a tad more thinking than that. not to say you have to be super creative and write an essay thats not about american excess, you just have to have show some thought. further, your digression into a commentary about your style of writing and how you became a better person is both unnecessary and out of place.</p>

<p>not to be pompous or anything, but you truly are “So_Delirious” if you think you are going to get into chicago with that. it is a very immature peice. if you want a chance getting into chicago you should just start over from scratch and try really hard to improve your writing and your thinking. this is easier said than done, however. i would recommend applying to an institution of lower caliber if this is your writing level. may i suggest university of tulsa? or perhaps university of nebraska is a good choice? hell if you want to really reach go for tuskegee university.</p>

12

<p>why are all satirists applyin to Chicago?</p>

13

<p>Oh, silly me, I thought this was the University of Illinois at Chicago.</p>

14

<p>have you read Ted O’neill’s speeches?</p>

15

<p>no, i haven’t. can you link me, please? i actually appreciate this not being sugar-coated… </p>

<p>at first i started with an essay about how i see mustard of the future could go the way of chili extract/capascin to become smaller and a sideways allusion to a modest proposal… ill post that for comedy value. </p>

<p>For the slip-n-slide at your child’s birthday party, since you don’t want to waste water (for there is a drought, and you are trying to avoid being wasteful. See? Buying a super-huge jar of mustard doesn’t always correlate with American excess). There are more bonuses to this slip-n-slide thing: it will make the children tastier for when you eat them after the party.</p>

<p>I swear I’m just kidding. </p>

<p>I practically never think about eating children.</p>

16

<p>i was being satirical but i think my comments are legitimate. i would post more specific advice, but again, i don’t want competition. if i was already in i’d gladly help you, but like it or not you we’re all enemies until we get our decisions.</p>

17

<p>1) i think your comments are legitimate, but they were more juvenile attempts at comedy through hyperbole than satire. satire sort of implies this aura of sophistication.
2) i just hope that most chicago kids aren’t like you. i also hope they know when to use were instead of was.</p>

18

<p>I don’t really like it. It’s a bit too uncreative. Just my personal take.</p>

19

<p>"sesquipedalian "</p>

<p>I think if you force your reader to look in the dictionary, you’re in trouble.</p>

<p>Just some general advice: be more clear and less articulate. I don’t know if that makes sense, but you’re making it more flowery than it actually has to be.</p>

<p>Make it sound like you wrote it. If that’s how you sound like when you talk, then…well…I don’t know.</p>

20

<p>thank you for all of your input stop please stop the savaging of my essay stop i will post updates when i have them stop love stop so_delirious</p>