How is this essay topic?

Applying to College Common and Coalition Application
1

<p>I wrote about a friend who had Asperger syndrome and inspired me to be tolerant, the result being that I got many peers to stop being rude to/ gossiping about a kid who showed all signs of having Asperger’s. [It’s really not as cheesy as it sounds summarized]</p>

<p>It’s told in story format, and is about 1000 words. </p>

<p>Besides themes of tolerance, and displays of leadership, there doesn’t seem to be much else. I mean, no sense of academic vitality (though the academics show pretty clearly on my resume) or an epiphany of all my philosophical beliefs.</p>

<p>…And yes, I have been reading that 50 successful essays book. I find a lot of the themes in that book overused, actually >___></p>

<p>So, does it seem to display enough about character (from a non academic point of view)? And is it too long?</p>

2

<p>seems too long. make it entertaining, show vivid examples that you bcome tolerant</p>

3

<p>I’m not really sure how to make it entertaining…
It’s got some suspense, and the story does go over the ethical conflicts. I wouldn’t call it boring, just based on a fairly serious topic. </p>

<p>And it can be broken down into two linked parts, which is why it’s so long. I just wanted to establish the background well, and make for a clearer read.</p>

<p>What I’m really curious to know is if colleges want to see values that are all encompassing, such as , “This author defined my life”, or if it can be something specific, like an influence over empathy and tolerance</p>