When our kids came home on breaks while they were in college, I found the best way to make sure they got up by noon was to plan lunch out. Most non-chain restaurants nearby close between 2:00 and 5:00 p.m., so we’d head out between 11:30 and 12:00. They managed to get up if mom was footing the bill for sushi or their favorite Chinese restaurant.
To this day, D1 still naps when she comes here. I just insist that she go to her bedroom to sleep so the rest of us don’t feel obliged to tiptoe around, turn off the TV, etc., when she nods off on the couch.
10:00 was my limit for both kids regardless of the situation. Most of the time, they were up earlier and now that D is a freshman at college she schedules the 8 am classes and is done early afternoon. They both also chose early morning summer jobs while in high school so they had a good portion of the day to go to the beach, do cookouts, hang with friends and be in bed by 11 or so…they both realized early on that the day can be filled with much more fun if you don’t spend it in bed.
Although it annoyed me, I totally left it up to them. I had 18 years to raise them and if they choose to sleep until 2 in the afternoon in their late teens or early twenties, it’s not my problem. They are all professionals now with real jobs and that sleeping over college break or summers never held them back. There are way more other things to care about.
D just finished her first semester at college - came home exhausted physically and mentally. First 2 days she went to bed around midnight and got up around 1 pm. I really felt her body needed it. Now she is back to usual routine - goes to bed around midnight and up around 9:30 or 10:00.
I thought it was very funny that right before exams ended, one of the mothers who runs the parents website at her school sent all freshmen parents a note suggesting that we just let them sleep. So I knew what to expect ahead of time!
Let them sleep. Our son is out of college, living 3 hours time difference from us and chooses to get a late start (10 am-ish?) at work, getting done later in the evening. He came for a week plus at Thanksgiving and caught up on sleep. For a few days he went to bed by midnight-1 am our time and slept til noon I think (closed doors make it harder to tell)- that would be 9 am his time zone. Even adults in their mid twenties end up needing sleep on vacations.
College kids will need to sleep after finals. I still remember so many trips taking son and local friends back and forth the 2 1/2 plus hour trips to their campus. They all spent their time sleeping, not talking or listening to stuff.
My kids drive me CRAZY with this issue, but I try to let it go. My younger son regularly sleeps til 2 or 3 on the weekends, unless there’s something going on. I know I’ve posted the following before - When we went on our last family vacation, my husband and I got up on the “early” side, maybe 8 or 9, and the (adult) kids all slept until at least noon, but sometimes later. We would all go out to dinner (breakfast?) about 5, and we would start winding down, and they’d start winding up. On the vacation before that, we were in Hawaii, staying in a resort with a great view out of both bedrooms. Two kids would close their bedroom window, turn out the lights, and play video games and watch TV in the dark. My husband and other kid would be in the living room watching Tosh dot O (however you spell it), while it was beautiful and sunny out, with great snorkeling right outside our door. After several days I did “throw a fit” on that vacation. So the next one I just recognized that it was their vacation too, and as long as everyone seemed happy, I wasn’t Going to stress about it. We all had a better time.
In inherited my night owl tendencies from my father. When I’m visiting my parents, as long as I’m up before dad, my mom can’t complain about me sleeping in
All 4 of mine went through this at some point, but the 3 who are now working outgrew it quickly. Our oldest DS gets up by 6:30 when he is home even if he has stayed out late with friends he is catching up with. He is up by 5 at his house so I guess that is sleeping in. Our youngest, and last in college, is home on break and sleeps til noon. I don’t mind at all. He carries a full load, works part time, and plays an NCAA sport so I know he rarely gets enough sleep when at school. I figure he has years and years ahead of him where he will not be able to sleep late so he should do it while he can. He is very helpful and involved with the family when he awake so that is all I ask for.
I think I would be more concerned about what they are doing during their awake hours than WHEN their awake hours are. Did they make it to classes and get acceptable grades? Did they hold down a job at home or at school and not lose it because they didn’t show up?
If they get up at noon, but still manage to do the household tasks you have made clear to them they are responsible for, get some exercise, be pleasant to others in the house and have safe fun when they are out with friends - well, that’s good use of their time - even if it’s NOT on your time! But it is their time, right? At age 18+ is their time our time to schedule???
Now, if they are rolling over from the bed at noon, to the couch to play video games, are missing important importants, aren’t showering, aren’t taking care of their household responsibilities, etc. - that is a problem. But that could be a problem no matter what time wake up time is.
You should go on with your day as you like! Tell your kids that you know they like to sleep in but that after a certain time - say 10am - you will need to run the vacuum, have the housekeeper come, have the kitchen sink empty of dishes - or WHATEVER it is that is bothering you that they are not up for!
That or yeah, tempt them awake with some great activities, steaming hot muffins or a promise of a latte at the local coffee shop to get them out of bed. If there isn’t an obligation/activity to wake up for, why hurry up?
Breakfast out has been a real motivator to get them up in the morning. We have some really nice breakfast places in our town. Plus it avoids finding the frying pan in the sink at 1 pm with scrambled eggs stuck to the bottom.
