I have been thinking about this lately and comparing my own timeline for these things to that of friends’ children. My ds has no S.O. so I have no experience with my own kid. @conmama’s post about her ds getting engaged and her feelings about it spurred me to pose these questions as things seem so different now.
I did not meet dh until I was working after college. We dated about ten months and then got engaged. We had planned about a 7-month engagement though that period got shortened and my wedding scaled down drastically when my parents died during our engagement.
Most people I knew in my peer group who dated a long time before getting engaged had been either high school or college sweethearts. People who found their to-be spouses after college seemed to date about a year or a year and a half before getting engaged. Back in my era a 6-8 months-long engagement was considered long. And, one generally only had a long engagement if there were going to have a pretty grand wedding.
It now seems that both the dating timeline prior to engagement and the engagement period itself have gotten incredibly protracted. Maybe it is because living together prior to marriage is more prevalent now?? Maybe it is because weddings, overall, seem to be more “involved,” than they used to be? I know several young people in ds’s age range and older who have been living together for a couple of years, and they aren’t even engaged yet. Some have even bought homes together! I honestly don’t get it.