How long does it take to be fully adjusted to college?

<p>Exactly how long does college adjustment take? I'm a freshman at Rutgers University, and it's almost been a month since I've moved in. I was an emotional wreck my first week here because of homesickness, sudden realizations and fear. I'm super close to my family and I usually go home every 2 weeks with my brother to do laundry (he's a senior and lives off campus). I've already established a small group of friends (including my roommate) who live in the same residence hall as me, but I feel like a third wheel sometimes. Everyone in my group of friends have close high school friends going to Rutgers, but all of my really close friends go to different colleges, and I just feel really lonely sometimes. All my friends also have a lot of classes together and they're all going for similar majors. I still haven't befriended anyone in my classes yet, nor have I found anyone with the same interests as me. I'm still in the process of joining clubs, adjusting to my work study job and there are times when I feel fine, but I've been finding myself crying pretty often. I know this is gonna take time and I love Rutgers, but I just wish the adjustment would happen faster.</p>

<p>Hey I am also a freshman at Rutgers this year. You’re not alone! I love the school but I a beginning to think the social life here isn’t for me. I have some friends in my hall but I feel like I have yet to meet someone I am really close with. I was extremely homesick for the first couple of weeks and I still feel it hit me once in awhile. I never really cried much until I came here. I feel myself crying a lot about various things. I wish I could adjust already!</p>

<p>I am a parent. I have sent 3 kids to college. That first semester is a huge adjustment, but it will get better. I think that learning to live on your own, away from your family, is a process that takes time. </p>

<p>I would say that the first semester is the ‘worst’ in terms of fear and loneliness. So don’t worry, it does get better. Give yourself some time and go home for a weekend if you’re feeling lonely. It might take awhile, but eventually you will feel more confident about school and being on your own.</p>

<p>I didn’t adjust that well. I felt ill-at-ease to some extent until end of sophomore year. But I told myself I was there to study and learn, and having a great fulfilling social life was not part of why I was in college.</p>

<p>I know my son’s friends who are college freshmen come back for weekends to hang out with their HS senior friends. Rutgers in particular has a very spread out campus, so your local dorm situation seems like all you have.</p>

<p>Hang in there, and catch up with your friends on other campuses. Stop home if you can. It’ll get better.</p>

<p>If I were you, I would stick out the first year. At the end of the year make an evaluation of whether or not this place is for you. I went to Rutgers my freshman year and hated it. No one tells you going in how the social system works at Rutgers, which was one of the reasons that I eventually ended up transferring to a much smaller school.</p>

<p>At Rutgers, there is basically three main ways to make friends. 1. Have your group of high school friends go to Rutgers with you. It shocked me upon arrival at Rutgers at how many people came to Rutgers with their circle of friends from high school. I did not think that at a school of 40000 people that this would be a recurring theme. But, when you think about, so many kids from north/central jersey high schools go there, it is then obvious why this is the case.</p>

<li><p>Meet friends in your dorm. This is vital to your social life at Rutgers. THE MOST IMPORTANT part of having a solid social life at Rutgers. A lot of people told me going into college that I would make friends in my major, classes, clubs, etc. THIS IS NOT THE CASE AT RUTGERS. The school is too big for that to happen. Most classes are lecture halls with 300 people, so it is very difficult to see a familiar face to talk to each class. Clubs are alright, but in reality, the people in clubs generally just become your acquaintances. The only people that you will see on a continual basis are the people from your dorm. Those are the people that you will hangout with, eat with, party with, and go to games with. Finding a group of friends in your dorm can make or break your social life at Rutgers, if you do not already have a group of friends from high school.</p></li>
<li><p>Join a Frat/Sorority or club sport. These people are similar in the sense of your dorm-mates. You will see these people on a consistent basis, which is important at a school the size of Rutgers. However, the Greek scene is not for everyone. Most Greek students are major drinkers/partiers. If that is not your thing, then I would not advise going Greek.</p></li>

<p>Rutgers could’ve been a great school for me if I knew how to make friends in the beginning of the year as opposed to the end. Most people like it, however it is not for everyone. I, like you, felt like a third wheel in all of the social groups that I was in throughout the year. I joined clubs and hung out with friends in my dorm, but none of them became actual friends. I have since transferred to a smaller school and love it. Seeing familiar faces and being on a sports team really catapulted my social life. I also seem to be doing better academically in the smaller classroom environment.</p>

<p>If you do look to transfer, I would advise you to look at smaller schools. For NJ state schools, TCNJ, Rowan and Ramapo may be a better fit for you. All are smaller schools with smaller class sizes and campuses. You should also look into to private schools or LACs, which have a very similar environment to TCNJ. Again, Rutgers is great for a lot of people, but it is also not a good fit whatsoever for many others. I struggled at Rutgers. Looking back, I probably was not mentally ready to enter college at the time that I did. I also knew two other students who transferred out of Rutgers that had similar problems with me, and both are doing great at their new and smaller colleges.</p>

<p>Good Luck and I hope that you do find your way and end up staying at Rutgers. Rutgers truly can be a great place to go to school.</p>