Personally, I had several different SOs before I finally met and married H–more than 10 years later. Many folks meet SOs and the timing isn’t right or they decide for some reason that it’s not THE one or whatever and the relationship dissolves.
Having relationships with SOs is good for growth–learning to compromise and figure out what you value and how to stand up for your ideas while respecting someone you love. Most folks I know had more than one relationship with a SO before they decided to marry. There’s a lot of timing and some luck involved, in my opinion.
Yes, in HI, 1st birthdays tend to be a “big deal.” We opted NOT to make our kids’ big (kept it to about 40-50) because we had a HUGE wedding and our kids honestly at that age (and even today) don’t really like larger gatherings than 40-50 (nor do we). Even for their grad parties, they and we preferred and kept it low key with mostly extended family–at a house or nearby country club. Since their cousins graduated the same year as our kids, we have a joint grad party for our kid and a cousin both years.