<p>I’m not going to pretend that it isn’t possible for smart, social kids to party themselves into a serious hole at college. I’ve seen it happen. But . . . not that much. Most students learn, by trial and error, how to handle themselves. The trial and error may involve a few sub-optimal grades in their first year, but that winds up being a valuable part of the learning process. (I’m not talking about endangering or losing a scholarship. Which happens, of course, but relatively rarely if the applicable requirements were realistic to begin with, and not the equivalent of a teaser rate on a sub-prime mortgage.)</p>
<p>But, however you look at it, Week #3 is far, far, far, far too early for any sort of parental intervention at all. The OP knows practically nothing about her son’s experience, except that his reports don’t match the reports she imagines he ought to give. Ground that helicopter now! Don’t even THINK about taking it out of the hangar until you have concrete evidence that (a) there is an academic problem, AND (b) the student is not addressing the problem on his own. It’s hard to imagine being in that position until after All Saints’ Day, and more probably Christmas.</p>
<p>If there is a real problem, intervening now may or may not make the ultimate solution easier and more effective – it’s probably 50-50 either way. If, as is far more likely, there isn’t a real problem, intervening now will, at best, infantilize the student (and I’ll bet it should be “further infantilize”), and at worst cause some serious, unnecessary conflict.</p>