I make a distinction depending on if the person is the business owner. My hairdresser, for instance isn’t the salon owner, I tip her and my manicurist 20% every time and consider the extra money at holiday time as a gift, not a tip. My landscaper/gardener is and he charges sales tax, like every other business. My cleaning lady, OTOH, isn’t really a business and I pay her in cash (obviously under the table,) plus she has to clean my toilets!
I don’t give anything to the business where I board and have my dogs grooms, but the owner also has an animal sanctuary on 22 acres and rescues everything from dogs and cats to pigs to cows (even a blind one which made National and even International news last year.) I use her business because all her profit goes to support her sanctuary, plus I make a donation once a year directly to her sanctuary
I’m glad home health aides came up. I wanted to give my mom’s aide a huge bonus, because I cannot overstate how great she is, and how well she takes care of my mom, who is about as helpless as a toddler. Apparently the agency we use says caregivers are not allowed to accept gifts. (They also say it is illegal for her to accept tips, which I don’t believe.) How have others handled this issue?
I know my mom gave her aide (hired through an agency that her long term insurance writer approved) a lovely gift after my mom was fully recovered from her accident. She took her to one of her favorite stores and let her pick out what she wanted. I’m sure my mom never even inquired as to the whether it was acceptable or not.
My sister and I picked out a Coach cross body bag for the private nurse we hired to stay with my mom at night when she was first hospitalized. Nurse wasa fashionista so we knew she’d like it,
Hmm. I’ll give the two receptionists Starbucks cards (it’s across the street.) But am stumped on the stylist.
Fang, in those cases, DH would give cash and call it, “I’d like to buy you lunch.” (Or dinner, if it’s a large amount. But “huge” is YMMV.) I wonder if that skirts rules.
No house cleaning bonus for me- that jewelry idea gift is not for me since I don’t like to wear it. I never had great cleaners I felt deserved a tip/bonus. Likewise I tip the person who cuts my hair at the time of service. Guess I do not have personal relationships with people doing things like some of you do.
“Guess I do not have personal relationships with people doing things like some of you do.”
Honestly, I have zero personal relationship with my housekeeper. She’s cleaned for us every other week for 18 years. She also will keep an eye on things/water plants when we are out of town on extended trips. (She saved us once when we were away during the winter and our furnace broke.) She is very reliable and honest and I’ve gotten her several other jobs through recommendations over the years. But, it’s not personal. It’s professional. One some visits, we might chit chat for a few minutes but that is it. I don’t even know her birthday for example. But, I am her employer in a sense (one of many). When I worked, I always got a yearly bonus. I’m just treating someone who works in my home the way I would like to be treated. Plus, it makes her incredibly loyal and appreciative. Win/win.
Feeling a bit like the Grinch after reading this thread. I’d take that mail carrier’s solicitation to the P.O. and speak with a supervisor about it. I also don’t like the growing practice of tipping people in jobs that haven’t traditionally been tipped, especially when the tips are solicited.
OTOH, I pay our yard service a flat rate year round and the same three young men have been doing the job for several years. I give them each a card & $100 for the holidays. The company owner told me last year that no other customers do anything like that and they really appreciate it.
I used to give our trash collector a box of candy and some cash, but the county changed companies and service has been horrible ever since so I no longer do that.
Not sure what to do about our newspaper delivery person. We’ve only been getting the Sun paper delivered since after Thanksgiving, but the carrier left us a card with his name and address. I almost feel like I need to send him something to insure we continue getting the paper on time and in good condition.
We have never been able to afford a cleaning person ourselves, but my ex-BIL cleans my mom’s home every week. Since she is getting older and is losing her sense of smell, he has started using a much stronger ammonia-scented cleaner that will just about knock anyone over, but she likes knowing that her kitchen floor is really clean - her eyesight is now so poor she wouldn’t be able to tell by looking.
He has been cleaning her home for maybe 6 or 7 years now - it started when he was out of work, and she really needed the help, so it was a win-win situation. She can easily afford to pay him ten times what she give him, and I keep telling her it would cost her twice as much to have anyone else do it. The first year he was doing this, I suggested she give him a holiday bonus and said from what I understand, it seem fairly common to give a week’s pay.
From her reaction, you would have thought I had suggested she just sign the title to the house over to him.
So, instead of pushing the issue, I decided that since she pays in cash, and since I help her with her finances, and put together the “envelopes” for everyone, as far as she knows, he is getting an extra $10. I simply short the envelope that she gives me and DH, and give him a much healthier tip on her behalf. He’s earned it, but he doesn’t need to know. I’ve told DH, of course, but I won’t tell my sisters - older sister would want to confront mom about it, and start an argument, and younger sister - who divorced him, well, lets just not go there right now.
We tip the main cleaner a weeks pay and give the other two who come and go something small. We have given her lots of things over the years and frankly she appreciates everything. Hair dresser gets tipped each time and frankly the prices are too high already. I’m not in favor of tipping everyone you know ( but we don’t live in New York). We do give small tokens usually edible to people we want to.
I give my two cleaning ladies $100 each. I don’t have a mailman—I have a box at the post office. (We got tired of the snow plow knocking it down and then having to to put it up again). I give my hair stylist and manicurist an extra 10% at Christmas. I usually tip 20%. I give the paper guy $25. He puts cards and SASEs in the paper every week—I only tip him at Christmas. We have a gardener and a lawn service. Never have contact with the lawn service but I talk to the gardener often and consider him a friend. He is about to retire and has only two clients (his choice). I think he would be offended if I tipped him. I send him a holiday card along with a $50 gift card to a restaurant that I know he and his wife like. I also send a $50 Amazon gift card to the woman who is the head of the cleaning crew at our vacation home. She is there every year—the helpers (mostly young women working seasonally) come and go. She is a dog lover and will often take our dog overnight if we have to leave—she won’t accept any money.
I give my housekeeper one week’s pay. She comes weekly so, the time she comes closest to Christmas, I give her double.
I used to give the two guys who did our gardening (never saw the owner) $25 or $50 each (I truly can’t recall). We’ve had a new person for just a few months and I really like him – owner does the work – and his monthly charge is about 30% less than the old service. I’m not sure what I’ll give him yet but I’m hoping this is the start of a long term relationship so he’ll definitely get something.
The person who does my hair is the owner and I tip him every time I see him. I’ve never given him a holiday gift. I give the person who does my nails a very generous time (about $25) when I see her around the holidays.
Is nobody here the recipient of Christmas tips? If so, how much can you get? What do you do to people who don’t tip you? Another perspective would be helpful …
In my previous job, I was the recipient of holiday tips.
Never expected, always appreciated. Plus, surprised/pleased/grateful that out of all the people in the customers life, they included me in holiday tipping.
I also observed that from year to year, it was inconsistent, sometimes felt random, and I never took it personally.
ETA: sometimes I would receive a small box of chocolates or bottle of wine in lieu of cash. Again, it was nice people would make an effort of recognition.
Our CNAs are direct hires and they take care of FIL and MIL in their house, so no issues with us tipping, however, I know the facilities around here either discourage or prohibit any gifts, which is understandable given the complications, especially with dementia patients. Unfortunately, a few may take advantage.
Perhaps it makes more sense for the family to do the tipping? My SIL puts together gift bags with cards and checks that MIL gives to everyone. Some of our aides have young children, and I buy presents and candy for each of them - the aides put together a little party every year and FIL hands out the gifts. His Alzheimer’s is fairly advanced, but he still enjoys seeing them open the gifts. We hope that it makes the aides feel connected to our family and is a way to acknowledge that what they do is very important to us.
I googled about gifting the hair gal and found comments from stylists that mirror what Midwest67 wrote. No one said they expect the $ of your usual service. (They did say they wished clients would show up on time. I got my gal on a walk-in because someone else cxlld. Great luck for both of us.)
@Gourmetmom my FIL began tipping the full time live in aide with MIL’s jewelry :-S Luckily he told us and we were able to make some changes after the first gift. We did then discover a touch of early dementia issues, but mainly he was just so desperate to keep her happy so he could stay in his home, sad.
I was told that it was illegal for my mom’s aide to accept gifts from the family (that is, from me). But I don’t know the law about this and couldn’t find it via Google.
