That was my suspicion, that there was no law involved.
But it could get her fired, if the agency were to find out. So leave no trail of bread crumbs.
I thought these policies were to prevent preferential treatment for the generous clients, less for those not in that position. Or the possibility an aide goes beyond her job definition, in return, possibly leaving the company liable.
I agree @lookingforward
We actually tipped generously the folks who helped my mom after she died. Since she was no longer a “customer” the folks could accept a present from us…we didn’t call it a tip.
We also donated some things to the skilled care facility where she was for a while…they needed some serving pieces for events, and the like…so those were donated too.
But I guess that isn’t exactly a tip.
We decided to only tip our newspaper person…mostly because we like having a paper version of the news each morning…and we don’t want her to quit! She is amazingly consistent on time.
“what do you do to people who don’t tip you?”
What does that even mean. Are you assuming people are punitive if they don’t get a tip?
I tipped our cleaning lady of 20 years every Christmas. Not as much as some of you here but a generous amount. In 20 years I NEVER even once received a thank you. I would come home to the envelope ripped open, the money gone and she couldn’t even write thank you on the envelope.
I continued to tip every year but I also chose not to increase the tip yearly until I got a thank you. Never happened so the tip never increased.
We have a crew of 3-4 ladies who clean every other week; usually the same women. The cost is $180 and at Christmas I give them each a card with $50. I prefer to give it to them directly instead of to the owner, just to be sure it goes where it is intended. I tip my hairdresser year round, but also give her a card with $100 at the holidays; not sure if that’s enough since each service is $150 before tip, but she is always very appreciative.
We also get a SASE from our newspaper carrier, although this year we switched to digital subscription except on Sunday. In past years I often forgot or misplaced the envelope, but last year I finally remembered and sent a check - which was never cashed!
So, you gave your cleaning person a bonus because you wanted praise, rather than because you thought she merited a bonus? Hmm. I give bonuses because I think the people deserve bonuses. They don’t have to thank me for doing what is right.
It’s common courtesy to thank someone for a bonus. The fact the bonus continued for 20 years tells us she continued to give anyway.
I gave my cleaning lady one weeks pay and she did text her thanks to us later that day when she opened the envelope.
We stopped these bonuses at work. I used to send hand written notes in cards and give a bonus. Very few thanked us or seemed to notice so with my new injury I had to drop it this year. I don’t think anyone noticed or cared.
I thank my boss (different ones) every year for my bonus, even though I know it isn’t out of their pocket. People in my building thank me every year when I give them tip at year end. It is just common courtesy.
I have never received a written thank you note from the various people who have cleaned my homes over the years and would never expect one. It is nice when they say ‘thank you’ which happens with some and not with others. but not a problem to me when it does not.
Well I own a small business. Anything I give to my employees is out of my pocket. I doubt anyone realizes that though. I haven’t heard a word through the grapevine so I suspect I was correct.
I’m guessing your holiday bonus was on the small side if nobody seems to miss it or care - or they just aren’t telling you. Seriously, employees notice money and if they routinely get something - bonus, free lunches, etc. - they come to expect it.
@oldfort I agree. It’s just common courtesy to say Thank You when someone does something nice for you. And yes, I continued to do something nice for her every year without any praise.
To accuse someone of “just wanting praise” because they would like to see some common courtesy is just rude.
I choose common courtesy anytime over rudeness and I will ALWAYS thank someone when they do something nice for me.
It’s common courtesy to thank people, but one should do the right thing because it’s the right thing.
And I did do the right thing
I feel like @bhs1978 is getting some harsh attitude about the whole thank you thing; I think that because I bonused my rental onsite manager what felt to me like a pretty impressive amount and I did not get a thank you. It was in person and we got interrupted, so she likely thought she said thank you, but got stopped before the words came out.
I feel like I am already paying her well, and I bonused her what I felt would be an impressive amount, I could have easily done half that amount and it would have been respectable. I would have enjoyed seeing the joy on her face and a sincere, “wow, this is great!” I’m reserving judgment & assuming the best, but if she’s not excited next year, then I will be less excited to provide that amount 
I would always still bonus her, I need her, I want her happy, and I want her happy she’s working with me and not other owners. I think it’s like when you give a gift to someone, you’d like to enjoy seeing their pleasure, that’s all.
Do we think of giving someone a bonus as a business transaction: they have done their work and earned this bonus, so we fulfill our obligation and give it to them, as we give them their wages? Or do we think it is a present, creating a social obligation on their part?
I prefer to keep business relationships as business relationships. Of course, people should be polite and courteous in business relationships, but I don’t think my giving someone their bonus creates any obligation on their part. If someone opens up the bonus envelope when I am not there, I don’t think they are required to do anything.
If someone hands me my pay envelope, I’ll say “Thanks,” but I’m not expected to call up my employer every pay period and thank them for paying me. Similarly, if I hand someone a bonus I expect them to thank me, but if I mail it to them, or if they open the envelope when I’m not there, I don’t expect anything.
Here’s another thought: many of us have received year-end bonuses from our employers. Which of you have written nice thank-you notes?
Raising hand. It’s not even a bonus but a gift card. I am not regularly on site of the group of docs that gives it to me - I always thank them for thinking of me and wish them a good holiday season.
What is glaring to me in BHS’s situation is that for 20 YEARS there has not be a thank you. Not once or occasionally - but never. That’s odd to me. And to literally leave the torn open envelope? Just either strikes me as odd or just totally unfamiliar/sheltered about how to express gratitude.
Fang, we’re under no obligation to tip or gift. Not like paying wages or for a store item or service. No matter how we justify the client relationship (to ensure continued good service or a positive interaction,) it’s something done out of our niceness. And so is a thank you.
I thank my friend for a ride. I thanked the electrician for his service, when I handed him a check for his billing. I thank the hair gal when I check out. And the librarian.
I value my ability to say those two words. No big deal. But I do like a thank you, in return, when I do something for another. Doesn’t matter if the $$ is handed out or mailed. Manners are manners. (I know some don’t learn this.)
Converting this to a formal thank you note isn’t necessary. Some acknowledgement is decent. You dont “owe” anyone a seasonal bonus, unless it’s in a contract.
I don’t get why we’re arguing this.
Do as you wish.
Ps. I’m one of many who even thank the toll booth folks. MA did a study on this, lol. Again, no big deal. No awards expected. Just what our culture calls “a common courtesy.”
Edited to correct freaking auto correct.
And do you write, or have you written, thank you notes to your employer for your bonus?