<p>"@jym626 the ‘qualifiers’ as you call it, is to point out that many have different views about many things but also have common ground. Some here on CC many not know one or the other - so I just added those facts in. I know on certain particulars, Suze and Dave do not agree on financials, but both agree on many general financial concepts. I like listening to them both, but do not agree 100% with either"</p>
<p>I love Dave but I cannot stand listening to Suze. There is something so arrogant and irritating about her, I can’t watch her for more than a minute. After years of listening to Dave, though, I am starting to get annoyed listening to him hawk his daughter’s book (while telling other people to stop helping their kids), and making snap judgments about people without knowing the details. Of course, maybe he’s sick of hearing people do the same stupid stuff again and again. Me and my husband joke that one day we’ll call him and tell him our financials, and listen to him go ballistic.</p>
<p>Most of us are familiar with Suzie Orman and Dave Ramsay. Their backgrounds or sexual orientation IMO are irrelevant to this discussion I called them qualifiers because thats what they are. This thread does not need faith issues or otherwise injected into it.
LEts stay focused on retirement. This is not a religious issue. </p>
I recently found out by googling that, in some culture, the families (mostly the parents of both the groom and the bride, not so much for the groom and the bride themselves) are expected to pay for their acquaintances’ wedding over a long time, and when their own S or D get married, the families whose offsprings get married get back the money they have paid into this “social contract” over the years.</p>
<p>It is somewhat like buying an insurance policy with a “cash out” maturity date, which is when their offsprings get married. The difference is that unless the families are “destitute”, they are forced to buy this insurance policy. (People could lose their job at the worst and are disgraced and looked down upon by everybody if they do not fulfill their obligation to do so.)</p>
<p>A potential problem is that, depending on the SES of each family, the size of this kind of “insurance policy” could be very different. This could cause some conflicts between two sides of families. (BTW, I believe their average wedding expenses are likely much higher than the average in US, especially for some average or slightly above average families there - and the groom’s side has more responsibility of securing an “insurance policy” of a larger size – likely almost equivalent to the value of 50%- 60% of a house. How many young couple can amass such amount of money anywhere in the world?)</p>
<p>Tbh, I never listened to Dave nor Suzie(not for long anyway). I did browse through her books at Costco and found it hard to follow, perhaps, she went out of her way to make it simple for the average person, but it was lost on me.</p>
I agree in general. But for some families (at least for mine), the wedding expenses could disrupt the retirement plan.</p>
<p>One of my wife’s friends has 3 D’s and S’s. We were told that their family spent $50K when their youngest D got married about 5 years ago. Considering the number of the kids they have, it would punch a large hole in their retirement savings. One parent of the groom had been working for a large company but was kind of forced to retire at the age of 56-57. Luckily, their youngest got married before his retirement. (Two of their children attended private colleges - and one even the law school!)</p>
<p>Wedding discussions are fine. Talking about how christian someone thinks we are is, IMO not relevant to this discussion. Thats all I am trying to say.
I mentioned a few posts up that we are planning a large engagement party for s#1 and will contribute our fair share to the wedding. Will do the same for S#2 when the time comes. And yes, it affects retirement (DH is still not believing what we spend a month!). But this is a financial thread. Cultural issues have been discussed, but I don’t care if someone is green, purple, gay, straight, wiccan or what have you when we discuss retirement issues. That is all.</p>
<p>I don’t think it has to be that to call it a bribe. I openly admit that I bribed my kids to stop sucking their thumbs ($100 worth of American Girl doll clothes for one of them – much cheaper than braces!)</p>
<p>I dunno, I might not trust their judgment on finances if they are wiccan. Because hey, if they’re a witch or a wizard, shouldn’t they just be able to conjure up some good, hard cash whenever they need it? Or maybe I don’t understand wiccan at all (admittedly).</p>
<p>On that note, I’m going to go conjure up some hot fudge sunday (serious diet breaker) from this unbelievable ice cream place I found on the wharf. Now I could use some magic to make it not go to my thighs.</p>
<p>busdriver, I was thinking If I can manage to look good enough for my kids future weddings that would be great. But I can’t stay off the ice cream and root beer float, it’s my way to stay cool. </p>
<p>Good excuse, DrGoogle, you’re just trying to stay cool! I’m sure a nice, icy margarita would help along with it.</p>
<p>And jym, I’m okay with them not conjuring up the sundae for me. I can do that sort of legwork. I would just like them to conjure it off my thighs, because that’s way too much legwork to deal with.</p>
<p>So, today is a few days before our 30th anniversary and we are eating/ sharing a chicken salad roll up. ( on sale) at whole foods. Then on to see a movie as I have a free pass. Getting ourselves ready for the retirement budget life. </p>
<p>You can still celebrate with a reasonably priced (and tasty) piece of Whole Foods cake. You could even split that too ( you take the big half).</p>
<p>Retirement is so complex. I feel like we’re constantly making choices about what to save or splurge on now, as opposed to later. Too bad we have no idea how long we’ll live. Then again, maybe it’s better that way.</p>
<p>And not just how long we’ll live, but live well. Until things like ill health or mental infirmaty strikes us. Or becoming too fearful to do anything at all.</p>
<p>No cake- have a dress to fit into in a few weeks. Saw a silly movie (22 Jump street) but loved recognizing a lot of the buildings an location shots, as it was filmed at Tulane!</p>
<p>OK, back to retirement discussion… I wand to be able to live the way I am use to living-- a cheapskate in some areas and able to splurge without blinking in another. Every time DH hits a target $ milestone I worry it isnt enough…</p>
<p>This thread is interesting and generates some conversations at the dinner table. I like the idea of staying in our house, but the large and often unpredictability house upkeep expenses (roof, furnace, etc) concerns me. My hope is that in the long term (if we don’t need to sell in a rush) those expenses will be offset by appreciation. Is that a reasonable expectation? We are not in a crazy-like-Boston kind of market. </p>
<p>@colorado_mom , maybe yes and maybe no. In the long run, housing can’t do much better than inflation. IMO, you are better off thinking of your residence as a consumable rather than as an investment. There are sharp price increases and sharp price decreases and selling can be difficult (lacks liquidity) – as an investment it’s got some real negatives.</p>