It sounds like that was the best choice not to tell anyone. Not everyone needs to know your business, and sounds like it’s best to keep certain things private, especially with sibling rivalries still in force.
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5 posts were merged into an existing topic: Parents caring for the parent support thread (Part 2)
Any suggestions for books to help young (or not so young) adults who are pretty clueless about money?
I know someone (early 30s) who spends money wastefully, including way more than they should on UBERs, eating out often, including multiple alcoholic beverages, has no retirement savings, has student loans that could be paid off instead of the above, etc. To their credit, they do have limited savings, and no credit card debt.
I don’t want to lecture this person on all the bad habits, but am hoping to pass a book along to try and help them understand money and related issues better.
“The Simple Path to Wealth” by J.L. Collins
It can be absorbed readily, is approachable and concrete in its guidance and steps, and is the book I most frequently recommend to young adults.
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I’m not sure how much that generation looks to books for guidance. But I think Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman both have interesting food-for-though TV programs / books.
Per things like Uber expense, if it means not needing a car…. that could be a reasonable trade-off. Car purchase and upkeep is expensive!
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You Need a Budget: The Proven System for Breaking the Paycheck-to-Paycheck Cycle, Getting Out of Debt, and Living the Life You Want
https://www.amazon.com/You-Need-Budget-Paycheck-Paycheck-ebook/dp/B071Y2XSFN
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For some ‘you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink’.
DD2 was spending more w/o really budgeting herself on her weak spots. I did point her to better paying career in her field (civil and architectural engineering) - and at the time she didn’t think about short term/long term. When she changed jobs (and cities) to be in architectural engineering, her salary would have been much higher if she had a higher salary during her first 3 years of professional work. However, some of that is her own learning curve, her own learning. She is up for a promotion in April with pay raise. She finally is paying off the no interest loan her dad and I gave her to buy furniture and get set up…she carried that longer than she should have as well. Paying us off with her bonus, and the rest of the bonus is going into savings. Her BF and DD have been looking at finances – BF is more thrifty. About a year ago, I showed her closing documents and information to what it takes when one buys a condo/home.
‘How much do you think you need to retire/what age will you/spouse retire’ - how much one assumes college costs for kids (some plan funds, others cash flow, unprepared or unable to afford to do these two things may take out parent plus loans) as well as other expenses for adult children have an influence for parents’ retirement. Of course having a special needs child also needs to be planned for.
I know a couple who ha created a long existing fund for ‘travel in retirement’ - and after their kids were grown, and they retired, they have traveled. The wife said they are thrifty in other areas - and have gone to 7 Continents. They both have enjoyed the extensive travel. They did a presentation at our local OLLI (Osher Lifelong Learning Institute) - OLLI is at various universities (our OLLI at UAH is celebrating 30 years). I see many members of our local OLLI are getting into their ‘slow go’ years, and some have been very dedicated volunteers.
Once we travel back home after time at our DD/SIL/Gkids’ home out of state, DH will be happy to be home.
Nope, owns a car. UBER is so they don’t have to worry about drinking (or finding parking, or whatever…).
I agree about trade-off. My son’s car got totaled, and he took the money and moved close to the city/his work. He figured he could spend at least a couple hundred in UBERs and still be ahead.
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Wow - a house and car! We will never be in the position to buy our kids a house (unless that position is 6 feet under 
).
I feel like we gave them the tools/a good start (we paid for their education, they lived at home rent free to save and find jobs, I picked up stuff like household items for when they moved out, etc) but would like to be able to give with “warm hands” vs “cold”. I think we will be able to do that - on a much smaller scale than a house though - in about 5 to 10 years.
I guess, technically, we do give with itty bitty warm hands now
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I floated an idea about a house to DD2 with my name also on the title - she was getting very ‘antsy’ about home ownership. She didn’t like the conditions - which is fine.
Both DDs have their own opinions on homes - and that is fine. Houses and cars are on them for now. DD2’s car has 200,000 miles on it and going strong with good maintenance (Toyota Highlander). DD2’s BF of 4 years lives under our roof for a very involved job - and during sports season works almost 7 days a week (and long hours most days). He is finally getting student loans and personal debt behind him – necessary during lost opportunities during Covid. We helped him with an interest free down payment and co-signed the car loan (2018 very nice car, best he ever had, one he picked – and very excited about it) – we told him, we trust him with our DD, why would we not trust him with a little money? He is very responsible.
We have helped DD1/SIL with things like sleeper couch and love seat that they picked out (we are sleeping on the roll out during our visits) - DD1 just said she was glad I encouraged the upgrade on the sleeper (it sleeps better!) - a big screen TV the year they were married (they were very excited about that).
We can help a bit with DDs that the other families cannot. They have helped their kids as much as they can, and also have care and concern. that is what family is all about. No dysfunction.
Many, getting handed things too easily - lack of appreciation. Many need to work hard themselves, sacrifice and save, to appreciate a home, a car, etc. Some of it is with maturity.
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Our kids have never asked us for a penny. Both are fully self supporting. Those are two reasons why we DO give them money and gifts now. They are more than appreciative.
Plus…our financial planner told us to spend some money. I can’t think of a better spend than gifting to our kids now…while we can see them enjoy our gifts.
To each his own…certainly this is a family decision.
And swinging back to the topic…these gifts do not negatively affect our retirement living one bit.
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I’m available for adoption…
(just sayin’)
My MIL helped ShawD with her downpayment and we offered to provide a little if/when she wants to do a kitchen renovation. MIL visited and saw the house and how responsible ShawD was and was so happy. She actually wrote to each of her other grandchildren
I know this thread has dealt with the complexity of getting prescriptions at reasonable prices. Over the last six month, we’ve worked with prices from Medicare, BCBS Medex (Part D), goodrx, manufacturers’ coupons, a Canadian pharmacy and looked at Mark Cuban’s Cost Plus and Amazon Pharmacy. There is sometimes a huge difference in prices between different local pharmacies. ShawD needed a drug last week that should have been covered by insurance but the clearance hadn’t come in yet. Without insurance, it would have been $130. I found it on goodrx for $10.62. But e pharmacist was able to find it four $8.64 with a manufacturer’s coupon. Today, the $10.62 would be $7.33.
Do you know of a service that finds the best prices?
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I don’t know if a service or a site but our local pharmacist will look for the lowest prices from any place they know of. Which is really nice.
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Thanks. I’m thinking about a service or a site that looks at all of the possible vendors available to you to find the best price. I’m in effect doing that, though I didn’t know the coupon that the pharmacist found. And, in addition to different pharmacies with different prices, different manufacturer’s coupons and Canada, there are now at least three non-pharmacy networks (Goodrx, Mark Cuban Cost Plus Drugs, and Amazon).
Our concierge doctor’s office also does some of searching. But, I am wondering if there is an entity that did it more systematically.
Costco too. We have found that RX can be less costly there too, and I don’t believe you need to be a member to use their pharmacy.
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It is such a mess! I recently checked a new prescription against GoodRX, Costco, and my local grocery store-based pharmacy. Fortunately it was an inexpensive drug compared to many. GoodRX ranged from $10 (one time special at distant store) to mid-$60’s. That’s a huge difference for a monthly refill. My local pharmacy indicated approx. $37 on the web. I decided it wasn’t worth running 15 miles to save $20 for the first dose, so had the script sent to local. I would change it later. When I picked it up, it was $8.
To add to the dilemma, typically MD’s ask which pharmacy to send the script when prescribing something new. I never know what to tell them the first time. “It depends”. In the past, I’ve asked for the old-fashioned paper copy to be able to shop around.
Then it all changes in 2024 (for my drug plan), and who knows what the drug will cost then. We all need to choose the plan based on 2023 needs.
There is no logic to this system, and takes so much extra time for everyone, patient and MD offices included.
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That’s right, non members can shop Costco’s mail order pharmacy as well
@shawbridge
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For prescriptions, prior to Medicare, DH and I were on very little meds and low cost meds. At one time we had to use mail in for a year, but that got scrubbed due to bad service and lots of complaints. We never needed to shop around for meds, but totally understand about the costs.
On Medicare search, we specifically used our 24/7 Walgreen’s pharmacy close to us that has been our prescription place – and it wasn’t more money for us. That Walgreens has cut some pharmacy hours from time to time, I imagine due to pharmacist availability and giving pharmacists holiday time around Christmas/New Year’s.
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Like so many things in our convoluted, private bucks, inefficient health care “system”!
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