Also keep in mind that the tax implications for single people are surprisingly high compared to a married couple. That’s important to keep in mind as you make financial plans.
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My wife was gifted a piece of land, on which we built our house, serving as our own general contractor. As such, there is no number that we paid to buy our house—it was a series of expenses over a 2 year period. I can’t imagine how we would figure out capital gains should we sell our house (which won’t happen, God willing).
Oh, and this was 40+ years ago. Who has receipts for lumber they purchased 40 years ago???
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@Mom22039 - bringing in a realtor is a good idea. I just did this - realtors walked through and I asked them tons of questions “Do I need to repaint? What’s the best paint color? Do I need to replace carpet upstairs? What color and do you have a recommended company/person for this?”
They gave me great advice and I now have a “presale prep list” (not extensive and I crossed checked it with neighbors who sold recently and what they did).
My approach to figuring out my next stage is one step at a time.. Just chipping away at things I need to do no matter what path I take (getting finances in order, prepping house for eventual sale, running numbers on costs in retirement and income sources, visiting possible future locations).
What’s helped me is I realized I don’t need to know the complete, final end game to make substantial progress on the steps to get there.
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@Mom22039 I am terribly sorry for the loss of your husband. It sounds that now everything has changed, and that has got to be so hard, figuring things out for the future.
But what I see in your post is obligation, of what you might need to do for everyone else. It makes me wonder, if you put everyone else’s needs aside (likely for the first time in a long time, because that’s how marriage generally goes), what you would envision as how you would live your life? Would you want to continue to work, would you want to move?
I completely agree with your perspective of not doing any big changes immediately, and I do understand what might be viewed as obligation can also be seen as purpose. I just don’t see what you want for you, and you alone in your post.
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This is exactly the situation my sil is in except she and her (now deceased) husband bought the land. But, it was cheap. My fil (her dad, who is also deceased) acted as their general contractor.
It would have been a non-issue had she gotten the house sold within the two years after bil’s death as it only sold for around $480k. Thus, the cost basis would have been irrelevant since the sale price was under $500k anyway. She missed the two years by about six - eight weeks.
I know it can seem unfeeling to bring up the fact that time is ticking for taking the larger capital gain exemption when the surviving spouse is dealing with so much already, but I don’t think most people are aware. My sil certainly wasn’t. She had originally thought she would remain in their marital home, but changed her mind about a year and a half after her husband died.
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In my county, 65+ don’t pay any school/bond taxes, only the county gov’t tax - so my annual property tax bill went down about 80% when I turned 65. You can get that discount earlier (I think 62 if you are disabled or low income). It is something every senior around here looks forward to…only need 1 of the owners name on the title to be 65.
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Deb, thanks for these insights! My brother even called me last night to discuss annuities. He wasn’t advocating for one for me. He was expressing his own concerns about some reading he had done.
I had a bump in the road when my advisor was not helpful when his company glitched my account, so any other mis-step will move me to another advisor.
Thank you for your support!
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Wow!
Thanks for this math! I will get to work on this.
Within the next couple of months, I want to work on this and get to know in real numbers how much tax I will pay if I sell after the two year window.
I appreciate your help.
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Do you know of a good source for a summary of taxes for singles compared to marrieds? I’ll be on the lookout for that.
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@Jolynne_Smyth and @busdriver11
Thank you both for your insights and thoughts. I’m a list-maker and sometimes it seems that my only accomplishment is making the list!
My husband was a veteran and I also have paperwork to finish with the VA and Department of Defense. My congresswoman’s office has requested an audit of DH’s pay and my survivor pension because they seem to have missed two pay amounts.
@busdriver11 you thoughts on obligations resonated with me so I will try to sort out those motivations.
But what do I do for me? Travel is my goal. Separate from senior-care obligations, I’ve been to Italy, Newport RI, and Nashville (for a wedding) so far this year. I’m getting ready to spend a full week at a lake with my kids and grandson (I haven’t really joined the Grandparents thread yet). I’m planning ahead for weddings in Denver, Scottsdale, and NC’s Wrightsville Beach. And, I’ve flown to D2 five times since Memorial Day to see the new-baby family.
My days are full. I’m a little sad when I am alone, and I just wish that I could sleep 8 hours through the night!
My goal for tonight is to check the bank accounts and update the checkbook and expense spreadsheet! I’ll take another look at retirement finances 
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You rock. I love to read that even through the adjustment of life without your husband, you are enjoying and being productive in life. 
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“On the capital gains on the sale of your home you owned with your husband - as it is now, you have two years from his date of death to qualify for a $500,000 exclusion on the capital gains on the home. After that, the amount drops to $250k. You get a step-up in basis for half the value of the home at his date of death.”
fwiw: for community property states, the step-up in value is for 100% for all community assets, including the primary home, upon death of a spouse. (In such cases, no need to rush to sell.)
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This calculator can help you see the difference between taxes based on filing status. There’s a chart below the calculator that lists rates for different filing status, too.
Hi Kelsmom — is there an attachment or link? I’m not seeing one.
Absolutely on the college expenses. I had aggressive cancer when DDs were in 8th and 10th grades and had max co-pays and deductibles 4 out of the next 5 years. Fortunately, I survived the cancer (and just got released by my oncologist today!) and am healthy despite some other medical setbacks along the way which included two major surgeries in one year. We paid in to a state run pre-paid college tuition plan (lump sum payments in 1995 and 1996), had a stock account for each that was a help, and their college scholarships - they both graduated debt free, used up all the credit hours on their tuition plan (135 hours). One still had money in her stock account, and just now used most of it up with an unexpected car purchase.
Having the ‘time value of money’ work for one is a great help for retirement. There are now so many ways to be informed and utilizing ways to build up retirement nest egg. We were fortunate to find our financial group about 11 years ago and have our risk lowered with the annuity purchase plan over time (which was important for us to lower our overall portfolio risk – and it was with an annuity at each time that had the ‘right’ numbers) – and now this is our cash flow in retirement (max monthly withdrawal w/o penalty) - we have 5 annuities with different terms and maturities, and they are worth about 30% of our overall portfolio; the principle is safer than bonds IMHO (4 and 5 star insurance companies) and the policy returns are ‘guaranteed’ w/o the drops bonds can have; our current annual return is excellent. Neither DH nor I have pensions – and for those that have pensions, differences on their retirement scenario.
My sunset career allowed me to earn enough periods/pay to have my own SS (and not off DH’s). I also earned matching with 401k and had great investment options (their plan was with Fidelity).
My sister used a financial person available to her (local office of a nationwide company), and due to her husband’s super risk adverse position, they have needed to be careful with money all their married life. Her home care of her DH will keep him out of skilled care - and I have encouraged her to hire in help if/when the time comes. If she had done better with investing the lump sum money from our family inheritance - but her advising was local/convenience and IMHO not the best she could have gotten – but again with her very risk adverse DH, she had that limitation. She now has some CDs that she rotates with maturity - and I am not going to offer suggestions on better investing while her DH is alive. Then and only if she asks for any guidance. She just recently complimented me on what I have shared with my friend and her (my sister has wedged herself into my friendship so now it is 3-way emails) on recent home damage/repairs/upgrades and financial investments/returns. Of course I had the interest and some education background with graduate business accounting and finance courses – but even w/o that, one can learn. So much info is out there.
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Here is a little start:
IRS provides tax inflation adjustments for tax year 2023 | Internal Revenue Service
There is a chart about single and married tax rate within this info.
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So sorry for the loss of your DH.
It sounds like you are very organized, and lists are great!
Emotionally (although not financially) you may be spending more time with your company – and maybe slowly weaning off of that while having responsible people taking over some of the tasks. Good to still have oversight and also pride in the business venture continuing well.
You can have a financial priority list - and the timeline on the house if the numbers make a difference. If the roof is fine, IMHO put money into things that will sell the house at the best price as well as time out the house getting on the market for the best time. You have time for this.
You have time to decide where you want to live. Can put stuff into storage and try out short term rentals at various places you are considering living. We stay where we are due to DH’s activities where we currently are - and it makes sense for us to remain in our home which is increasing in value along the way and we have a 10 year 2.5% small mortgage which is paid off in about 7 years (regret that I didn’t take more out). We also plan to help DDs get into a home with downpayment funds when the timing is right for them (they are in different states than us - one in TX and one in FL). One home purchase may be with space for us or room to build on for us; plan to help with the 4 grand-children’s activities and more involvement by us on time there. Right now, I periodically fly in for minimum of 2 weeks, and we have an annual Christmas through New Years’ time there which is a help with extended time of school closed and parents not being able to take time off.
A lot for you to handle. Hope you have competent tax person to advise you (can pay an hourly rate for advice) - and you may want to use them to file your taxes for this year and next.
Once your have settled everything on all joint assets, you can jot down notes about your thoughts and ‘what if’ scenarios.
I am fortunate if I can sleep 4 hours straight - have not slept well since 2009/cancer. Part of it is wanting to get the most out of life, and part of it is poor sleep hygiene (I watch late movies for example). Take a nap if you need it.
A friend just lost her husband, and she does get periods of sadness but also stays very busy and engages with people and that is a help for her. Her son is getting married in a few weeks, and we also have our 50 year high school reunion the following week. They fortunately settled into their retirement home, and she has family and friends all around that area. She already has had visits to help her DD/SIL with their one-year-old twins, but is not committing to more than she wants.
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On the property tax topic, note that the senior citizen discounts (terms vary a lot by location) often specify that you need to have been in the same house a certain amount of time. I think for our discount it was 10 year minimum. In other words, you can’t move into a new place expecting the benefit.
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Scroll down to find the tax charts.
I find it useful to look at the marginal rates.
Also, see qualifying widow tax rates:
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