On the Have You Made It? thread, we talked about doing the pre-work of separating your identity from your job as a necessary but often overlooked step in planning for retirement. This article calls it a sense of “mattering,” but it’s the same thing.
Those who define themselves by their work often have a hard time envisioning a life without the title/trappings even though they have “enough” and desperately want to cut the corporate tether. I saw this with my dad, my brother, and several of my colleagues who defined themselves by their job and had a tougher retirement transition due to identity loss (sense of mattering). My dad was a big fish in a big pond for many years, and when he no longer had that office/title/respect, he was depressed by what he felt he had lost. It took him a while to embrace what he had gained and begin to re-identify himself. Similarly, for my brother, it took three tries before he could permanently cut the cord. The job was just too much a part of him though it was killing him in some ways. But, I’ll never forget him saying to me, “Sis, I don’t know how much time I have left, but I do know that these years are better than those years” (pointing ahead), and when that sunk in for him, he was able to move on and is now enjoying these years immensely.
For us, work was always just a means to an end. It didn’t matter what the content was, how much we were paid, or what our titles and responsibilities were. We viewed our jobs solely as a way to pay the bills and fund retirement. When our nut was met, we had no trouble turning off the spigot and embracing the end goal. DH and I retired about the same time in 2017. I haven’t looked back, but he continues to consult sporadically to fund things outside our retirement budget. The work is, again, just a means to an end, not something he does because of some inner need or financial necessity.
For those who love what they do, though, perhaps they should keep at it and continue to reap both the emotional satisfaction and financial reward. Why quit? I know some who love what they do and plan to die doing it. For them, retirement is not a goal, and I envy them. But for those who do intend to retire, in addition to working a financial plan, it’s critical to start early to separate identity from the job to avoid any sense of no longer mattering when the trappings of the job are no longer a part of life.