<p>So, I’m curious.</p>
<p>How much influence do parents have on their kids smartness. For example, if one parent dedicates 18 years of their life to raising a child to be brillant, can they suceed? If a parent really, really, really wants their kid to be in a high performance program or school, can they train their kid to have above average aptitude and be more successful academically than their peers?</p>
<p>What if there were no limits to what the parents were willing to do? Move to better schools, pay for private tuition, etc, etc? </p>
<p>Or, do kids just have a natural amount of intelligence and all of this special treatment might help a kid suceed, but not necessarily make them any smarter?</p>
<p>This discussion about nature vs nurture has been ongoing for years. </p>
<p>I support parents doing whatever they can to provide good opportunities for their children. That is what being a good parent is all about. What this is will vary wildly from family to family…and even location to location.</p>
<p>Engineer…why do you want to know?</p>
<p>I think parents can influence attitude and study habits, but I also do not believe that “you can do anything if you try hard enough.” Everyone has their limits, no matter how well they were brought up. Not everyone can be brilliant.</p>
<p>Read the “tiger mother” thread and the book. Read the “10,000 hours of practice will get you anywhere” book. That’ll have you playing violin pretty well. Or probably solving math equations. At least a whole lot better than your peers.<br>
As for great innate genius and talent or “just smarter than the average bear” stuff , that depends on genes but it also needs nurturing to reach full potential.
Bottom line: special attention will definitely help those with innate talent. And make better the rest.
But I do think the drive to WANT to accomplish those things must come from the individual not from parents or another outside party.</p>
<p>He/she is possibly wondering if he could “engineer” the perfect child, to the specs of whatever he/she predicts will be successful in the economic/social marketplace??? Sigh.</p>
<p>Back to Amy Chua…</p>
<p>Smartness? Probably not much - you are born with intellectual potential. My youngests, as do many gifted kids, taught herself to read. I read stories to her, but that’s it. One day at three she asked me what “genocide” meant - she was reading the local paper (that’s the day I started blacking out some adult-topic newspaper stories…). </p>
<p>What they do with it is a different matter, and that is socially and parentally influenced. Some kids are very fortunated to have parents with the money and means to develop potential.</p>
<p>And some high normal IQ kids do far better in academics and life than mensa-level kids because they work harder than the gifted kids, and have more motivation. The val and sal at my daughter’s high school graduation both failed to qualify for the gifted program in school. I remember one mom of a gifted kid devestated because her 150 IQ son refused to go to college and wanted to become a mechanic. If he was happy, why the heck not?</p>
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<p>No, I am not trying to scheme a new way to have a perfect child that scores perfect scores on the SAT, a 4.whatever gpa, and also the quarterback of the football team. </p>
<p>I’m wondering because I am curious by nature and interested in reading comments. Certainly a lot of parents would like to believe that they have the formula, other parents hope their kids will at least have a chance.</p>
<p>Dh and I have decided that the two of us are untapped geniuses because why else are our kids so smart
One is the hard worker and average ability kid. Awesome work ethics &loved by teachers
Other is “gifted” but a little lazy. </p>
<p>We cAnt see what we could have done right so it must be nature.</p>
<p>I think we can polish them, expose them to ideas and standards, teach them reasoning and analytical skills, to be goal-oriented, but also to be compassionate, adventurous, loyal and more, assuming we ourselves have these attributes. In the end, they have their own timelines and their own set of other influences. </p>
<p>Some of the lessons “sound” harsh, when one speaks of pushing studying, learning to give 100% or violin practice x hours. But, endurance, the ability to manage a crisis, to give one’s best on a job, etc, don’t come from learning that slacking is okay. But there needs to be balance. Life’s more than what you win.</p>
<p>In the last year or two, I’ve been stunned at how much my college girls are like me, in some good ways. They say things, choose to spend their time in some ways, or argue from a perspective that is like listening to myself. Have to say, it scared me that they might also be picking up the less than good parts and got me on my toes.</p>