<p>How much parents should contribute towards the college expenses of their children is a perennial topic on CC. I usually tip about 15% at restaurants, not because that is fair in some abstract sense but because I know it is common. It may help parents to know how much other parents like them are contributing towards college expenses. Based on the paper below, it looks like 10% of income may be a reasonable default.</p>
<p>College-educated parents are more likely to assist their young adult children, even after controlling for income, but the odds of getting help decline 21% with each additional sibling (p11). Young adults are most often helped by parents in ways other than paying college expenses.</p>
<p>“While just 11 percent of low-income youth received tuition assistance from their parents, 66 percent of high-income youth did. And among those who did get help, kids from high-income families received an average of $12,877, compared to $5,788 for those from low-income families.”…well, that could be a function of INCOME. Not a lot of low income families have $12,000 laying around to pay for college, not do they often need to because of financial aid.</p>
<p>I say parents should pay what they want to pay and not a penny more…</p>
<p>What other parents are doing is completely irrelevant to my decision about how much to contribute to my kids’ education. I don’t need to know nor do I care how other people decide to spend their money. This is a personal family matter that involves many different elements, e.g., how much education is prized by the family, whether other children are college material, the parents’ job security, the nature the parents retirement plans, even the relationship between the child and the parents. Tipping is hardly analogous.</p>
<p>I tip what the server deserves–sometimes it’s zero and sometimes it’s $20 on a $10 check because they were amazing…</p>
<p>This sort of reminds me of a conversation I had with a parent many years ago. We were waiting for the kids to get out of school-elementary school. His family was new to the school and there was a very highly involved parent volunteer population here (Catholic elementary school). He wanted to know how many hours each family volunteered and then he was going to average that and only do that many hours…that’s the old volunteer spirit. What does it matter what other people do???</p>
<p>Some people pay for their children’s college expenses and do not let them take out any loans.
Some people pay their EFC and let their kids take out government loans.
Some people refuse to pay anything at all!! It is a family matter, a personal choice. It is not my concern what other families do about paying for college.</p>
<p>We never discussed SAT scores, GPA, where our four children applied with anyone and children did not discuss it with their friends, relatives etc. It really was not anyone else’s business and that policy certainly protected our privacy and avoided a lot of stress.</p>
<p>We pay tuition, books and travel, they pay spending money, D is also paying fr her food but recieved many gift cards to trader Joes for Christmas</p>
<p>What others do is not of interest to me, either. However, what might have some relevance to those not fully paying for undergrad is how parents calculated what they would do and what their kids were told (beyond straight FAFSA and numbers). For example, I have friends who told their kids the following: in-state school- parents will pay in full; state school but OOS- 5% for kid to pay (their choice loans or pay as you go); private school- 10% on the kid. I am not advocating this one way or the other, but it could be helpful to hear how others broke it down structurally. There are so many financial circumstances that drive this along with philosophical ones. This one is the college version of “we’ll buy you a new pair of jeans for a price that reflects current ‘real world’ options and if you want designer jeans instead, make up the difference”. </p>
<p>The more you can wrap your head around how you choose to do this and articulate it, the better the process goes. The aforementioned family wanted the kids to gain a certain take-away from this decision. It was not because they could not do 3 private school tuitions.</p>
<p>travelnut–we gave them a set dollar amount that was workable with our budget. I fear when people use a % figure or 'equal to a state school" because that number can be a huge swing–$10,000+ in our state. Our kids can’t afford to go to our in-state schools. I guess I am missing what the take-away for those kids would be–“we want to pay more for your college so go instate?”</p>
<p>I think the key is that the kids know whatever that number is BEFORE they start looking at schools, and hear that often while looking :D.</p>
<p>I agree that the average of what everyone else pays isn’t a very good standard. However, paying whatever you feel like paying isn’t one, either. A more or less objective standard exists, namely the Expected Family Contribution (which you can estimate by using an online calculator). I think parents should make an effort to cover that, minus a reasonable amount from the child’s earnings and student loans, and minus any merit aid. </p>
<p>If the EFC is so high that it covers a range of good options, then I don’t think it is completely unreasonable for parents to say they will cover only the least expensive of the good alternatives (say, the state flagship). </p>
<p>One pet peeve of mine is the non-custodial parent who refuses to pay a penny more than he is legally obligated. I have a relative in that situation. Her ex is an attorney (and big spender) who will pay only what he wants to pay, which is zero.</p>
<p>Amen. What the average person does is of no relevance to me, either. And there’s something more than a little “off” about the idea of basing your decisions on what other people do. The average person does a lot of really stupid things with his / her money, too. Gee, the average person carries $x of credit card debt and only has x months’ worth in the bank for emergencies – think I want to emulate that?</p>
<p>tk21769, you’re entitiled to your opinion. I just disagree. I paid for my own education, and so did my husband. We worked VERY hard. It made us VERY strong, and VERY good students - we had a LOT of skin in the game. If we failed, or did poorly, it was OUR money and OUR hard work going to waste.</p>
<p>It’s a different time, and school is much more expensive, but we maintain the same “spirit” with our kids. It’s on them to fund their education. They need to make good choices, they need to work hard. We’ll be here to help, we’ll give what we think is right depending on the kid and the circumstances - but the idea is that it’s THEIR skin in the game.</p>
<p>There’s nothing wrong with that approach.</p>
<p>There’s also nothing wrong with the approach that some others take to save their whole lives to make absolutely positive that finances or the threat of loans don’t keep their kids from getting an undergraduate degree.</p>
<p>It’s an individual decision. The EFC is not an “obligation” - it’s an “estimate”, and like many government “estimates”, it doesn’t always reflect REALITY.</p>
<p>cromette–DH and I did the same. We expect the kids to ‘pay’ for as much as they can through scholarships and jobs. D will be able to graduate without any loans…until medical school. S might have to take out some loans if he doesn’t get one of the full tuition scholarships at several schools he applied to. He won’t have to take out more than the federal max and will have no issues paying those back. If he gets into his lottery school, he is willing to take out more debt to go, we, however will not take any loans out for him. Our EFC is a heck of a lot more than how much we are helping with…by a LOT.</p>
<p>It is my goal in life to never have to have my kids work 40 hour+ weeks like I had to to get through school. I really think I learned very few lessons this way. Now, that doesn’t mean that my kids won’t work. I believe working is essential. But I don’t want them to go through what I did.</p>
<p>romanigypsyeyes - 40+ hours and a full time college load is VERY TOUGH. I don’t want my kids to do that during the school year either. We make sure that’s not necessary. But 40+ hours during the summer - Now that’s another story! Builds character! </p>
<p>D2 got a day job where she didn’t have to work weekends last summer. It worked out well. She had weekends and evenings to hang out with her friends and relax, and still socked away a bunch of money. No way could she hold down even a part time job with all of her rehearsal hours during the school year and still keep her grades up. We don’t expect that. She has to take out loans, but it’s working out.</p>
<p>I was required to be “at” my job for 40 hours/week however, of that time I “worked” about 5-8 hours and the rest I could study. It was great. I would not allow our kids to work that many hours if they couldn’t study for most of them but like cromette said, in the summer, they will work at least that much :D.</p>
<p>No, for me it’s 40+ hours during year. Of which, I can maybe spend 4 on homework. If the crisis lines at job B are quiet. </p>
<p>I don’t want to think about how much I worked in the summer. </p>
<p>I reject this Protestant/Puritan notion that working long hours builds character. In hindsight, I really feel like I missed out on quite a bit from working so much. Not that I had a choice but it is a regret. I would like my kids to have more opportunities to do things than I did.</p>
<p>SteveMA…will you be willing to cosign those extra loans for that lottery school? If not, who will? Loans in excess of the direct loans (which are in the students name) would need a cosigner.</p>
But 40+ hours during the summer - Now that’s another story! 
Builds character! </p>