<p>I suppose it’s kind of like the pregnant-having-a-baby process. It was something we had to learn on our own, despite kabillions of advice from everywhere. I remember feeling like I wanted to do it on my own, and eventually I stopped reading all the books. </p>
<p>Those of us who have completed the college process helped our kids get there, and so will the current and future generations. Places like CC exist and I know I was (and continue to be) so grateful for this forum. I sometimes just nod my head in commiseration, and I also recommend CC. But I don’t give advice, unless asked. I also am a HS teacher with a daughter in college. If I am asked questions at school, I recommend speaking to the college counselor, unless it’s about my own D’s experience. But I try to gloss over a lot of it. Just like after I gave birth.</p>
<p>I tell people about ‘apply early for rolling admission.’ However, since most of my friends are mothers of 6-7 year olds, I don’t know how much they’ll use/remember this advice! LOL. I just have a smaller circle of HS parent friends—the ones I do know are active in the PTO, etc., so are already very savvy (& have taught me a few things).</p>
<p>My friend has a D in the class of '09. She is an only child. So far my only advice has been to be sure and apply to a state u. in addition to all the small privates they are visiting but the only state u. the D likes is one she more than likely will not get in. I’ve had to bite my tongue to keep from saying “choose another one”.</p>
<p>They can’t afford full freight at a private but someone else (who works at a small private) has told them not to worry because there is tons of scholarship money that goes unclaimed every year. The D has a 22ACT and 1060 SAT, decent gpa but not top 10% and virtually no EC’s. I’m so afraid they are in for a big disappontment but I’m keeping my lips zipped from here on out unless asked.</p>
<p>I’ve said something a couple of times when I thought a kid was aiming too low, but I agree that it’s best not to give unsolicited advice when you think the kid is aiming too high.</p>
<p>That’s one of the great things about cc. Everyone can share their opinion or advice and the posters take what works/fits and leave the rest. Even if some people occasionally diverge on one picky point, it’s still a great source of information. I think we all have learned many things we didn’t know along the way, even if we were very familiar with a topic.</p>
<p>I was sorely tempted to share unsolicited advice the other day. I ran into a mom of a rising senior. Her husband is a self-employed contractor (and a good one!). She mentioned that neither she nor her H had gone to college, and she guessed she was in denial that her daughter was really old enough to be applying to college. She said her D said, “We should go look at some colleges” and the mom said, “OK, I guess so,” but did nothing about it. Now the D was going on a short trip with a friend to look at a few schools, some of which were on the D’s list (I was encouraged to hear that somehow a list had been developed!), but mom still couldn’t picture her D going that far away (about 3 -4 hours). I just smiled, and said, “Yes, they grow up so fast.” This woman is an absolutely terrific mom, and she and her H have are raising 3 great kids. But I forget that all this college stuff is sort of foreign turf for some people. At least the D doesn’t play a fall sport, so they’ll have some time this fall.</p>
<p>It must be a musical theatre thing…I corner parents of every talented high school sophomore or junior I know and offer advice. I direct them to CC, to coaches, to books, and I share everything I learned this past awful year. I wish someone had told me what we learned the hard way!</p>
<p>Not a parent but college stuff seems to come up a lot with co-workers. I don’t ever say anything if a kid is aiming too high. Some of my co-workers are convinced that their kids are brilliant, and there isn’t any good way to say that an A average with no APs and ECs consisting of membership in one random club won’t cut it for Penn/Stanford/Northwestern/wherever.</p>
<p>If a family is being absolutely ridiculous with post-HS plans, sometimes I can’t help myself. I have one co-worker who is stuck on the idea that her son will play major league baseball. While that’s a fine goal, to pursue that without a plan B is crazy. They’re not even attempting to get him into a college with a strong baseball team in hopes of being drafted in a few yrs. Instead they think any in-state college with a D3 team will get their kid to the majors. No clue what will happen if he isn’t draft and has to earn a living in a normal job.</p>
<p>I don’t really like discussing college with people unless I know them well. No matter what you say, if you are at all realistic, people tend to act like ‘you went to an ivy, are you saying my kid isn’t as good as you…’</p>