@southernfemmom Holy cow – that is a BIG difference.
I almost wonder if a slightly different strategy might be in order. 40k is a crazy difference. Maybe the shift needs to be in celebrating school B, and the fact that they loved her THAT MUCH. That is a crazy amount of love to be getting from school B! I realize we may be talking about some combination of FA/merit, but remember that there is a fair amount of leeway in how much FA is offered even if considered purely FA (clearly since one school offered so much more), so my point is: school B really does see something special in your DD. If they are calling it “merit” then this celebration might be easier. But even if it’s partly or even all “FA,” there is still something huge that they are seeing in your DD. I might lean into the emotional, beautiful, celebratory narrative more than the financial logical one here. Partly because 40k is hard to get to in tradeoffs. And partly because, at least in our house, school A wouldn’t be an option. And MOSTLY because such a huge vote of confidence from school B really is something to celebrate. It’s a beautiful story, and I hope your whole family leans into the joy of it.