How much would you pay...

Parent Cafe
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<p>…to give your kids a huge confidence boost?</p>

<p>I have trichotillomania. What that basically means is that when I am stressed out, anxious, or upset, sometimes I deal with those feelings by pulling some of my hair out (literally!).</p>

<p>I suppose I’ve led a pretty stressful life, because often times I have found that when I pull my hair it leads to bald or thin patches on my head. I have been dealing with trich in one form or another for the past eight years. Quite frankly, it makes me sick. I have figured out ways to control the urges to pull out my hair and have begun the agonizing process of waiting for my hair to grow out again. </p>

<p>I haven’t worn my hair down, enjoyed getting a haircut, or felt comfortable with wet hair in years (since right around sixth grade). I hope it’s not selfish to say that, while this problem is completely my fault, I’m sick of it and just want to have pretty hair. It is very hard to continually dodge friends wanting to help me do my hair, or avoid questions about why it’s always in a ponytail, or keep it in a towel while it dries. I really just want to feel…pretty.</p>

<p>So back to the original question.</p>

<p>I’ve done some research and have decided that I really may want to get hair extensions to remedy my hair problem. The safest, gentlest (best!) hair extensions out there (in case you’re not familiar with the market) would cost approximately $1000 (yes, a thousand). I am not willing to settle for other forms of extensions, so reducing the price isn’t really an option. However, a monthly payment plan would be. </p>

<p>I don’t honestly intend to ask my parents to foot the entire bill, but I was just wondering what amount (or percentage, or “IOU” plan) you parents would be willing to pay in order to give your daughter a huge boost of confidence in the physical appearance department. </p>

<p>Thanks for your help,
Kristin</p>

<p>PS: This is an incredibly sensitive topic for me–I’m on the verge of tears just thinking about it. I would sincerely appreciate it if insensitive comments or personal attacks were left off this thread.</p>

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<p>I’d want to see some proof it was a good “investment”. Have you been compliant with treatment? How long have you been managiing your symptoms well? Long enough to grow hair long enough for extensions? How old are you? Under certain circumstances I’d pay, say a days income. By that t, mean it world depend on how much money I made. I’ve had a patient tell me her insurance world cover a wig if I wrote a prescription for it.</p>

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<p>medication that helps people with anxiety /ocd is something I think you should look at </p>

<p>If you haven’t stopped using( pulling out hair) that to deal with stress- I don’t think it would be a very wise choice</p>

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<p>If you are compliant with treatment, I’d expect you to get a job and pay for a portion of the hair extensions. I want you to have an investment in this important, expensive, cosmetic item – and I do think it’s important that you have the self esteem boost that you’ll get from having pretty hair.</p>

<p>The teens that work for me net out about $80 a week at a minimum – some of them are up around $150, depending on how many hours they work. At that rate, $1000 is not too far away even if you paid for the entire cost. </p>

<p>As a parent, I would be inclined to match your paycheck – or, after you’ve earned a substantial portion of the cost, to advance you the rest, to be paid back out of your earnings – depending on my financial situation.</p>

<p>(I like to point out that the way to make more money at a part time job is not to ask for a raise, but to ask for more hours. And be the kind of employee that the boss wants to give more hours too.)</p>

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<p>I agree with emeraldkity,
You should probably concentrate on getting the help you need to stop the behaviour that causes the hair pulling.
What if you invest in the extentions and then pluck them out ?</p>

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<p>kristin - a LOT of teenage girls have this. Are your parents aware? If you were my daughter, I would invest in therapy, first of all (and insurance may cover it). You really can get better, and then not need hair extensions. And it is not “your fault”. I know how devastating the hair issues must be for you.</p>

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<p>I am sorry, but fixing the hair is a nonsolution and a cop out.
For starters, hair extensions are not trichotillomania resistant. They are just as easy to pull out as your natural hair
In addition, there are usually a range of other unaddressed problems that can include depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. Instead of spending $1000 on hair extensions that will probably last less than a month, get professional help.</p>

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<p>Kristin,</p>

<p>I would like to congratulate you on your courage in raising this sensitive topic in public. </p>

<p>I know that trichotillomania can be a very tough problem.</p>

<p>I guess that I don’t have enough information to answer your question. Right now, I don’t know where you are in the problem, whether you’ve had therapy, whether you’ve made progress so far, etc. In general, my feeling would be that the biggest confidence boost would be to make progress on the problem, and I would want to support you in that regard. </p>

<p>Perhaps you’ve been in therapy and/or have come across this book in your research, but fwiw I’ve gotten a lot out of The Hair-Pulling Problem by Fred Penzel, (who has treated people with TTM for many years): </p>

<p>[Amazon.com:</a> The Hair-Pulling Problem: A Complete Guide to Trichotillomania: Fred Penzel: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/Hair-Pulling-Problem-Complete-Guide-Trichotillomania/dp/0195149424/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204034922&sr=8-1]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/Hair-Pulling-Problem-Complete-Guide-Trichotillomania/dp/0195149424/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204034922&sr=8-1)</p>

<p>Here is a quote from it (p.37):</p>

<p>

</p>

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<p>Hey parents,</p>

<p>Thanks for your help and perspectives. I really appreciate them. Yes, I have sought therapy–it has been successful. No, I have not been prescribed anything and do not wish to be prescribed anything. </p>

<p>TTM is not a form of OCD and is rather an impulse-control disorder. While they may appear similar, treatment for one is not necessarily a treatment for another. I am elated to say that I am in no way depressed and really just have some hair issues to deal with–mainly, regrowing it. It is frustrating to be constantly reminded of the times I pulled my hair every time I look in the mirror. </p>

<p>I am looking for a way to make my physical appearance match the progress I’ve made with getting over this problem. Having a constant reminder not to pull (read: pretty hair that I sunk a lot of money into) and feeling like I’ve really beaten this are important to me, and I think good extensions and a killer haircut could be just what I’m looking for.</p>

<p>I am definitely motivated by financial investment; if I pay for something, I am going to see it through/take good care of it/etc–a major reason why I WANT to pay for some, most, or even all of this process. I was just wondering what type of financial investment you, as parents, would hypothetically make if I were your daughter. </p>

<p>Another one: My mom and sister both enjoy getting their hair cut, highlighted, and styled at their favorite salon. Would it be a “low blow” to bring up the point that I have eight years of good haircuts (like the ones they routinely get) to make up for when asking my Mom how we can make this financially feasible?</p>

<p>Thanks for the book suggestion and matching idea–you guys are GREAT.</p>

<p>-Kristin</p>

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<p>The best hair extensions cost at least $2000 or more (depending on length)… and even those last only a few months at best. Special care must be taken to avoid getting them wet, etc. If they are not removed/replaced with new ones at the right time, you can have lots of breakage and damage. Please do your research. Bonding methods and hair quality can make a great difference. Only have them done by someone who is experienced and who has good reviews.</p>

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<p>What does your therapist say? If you were my daughter, the first person I would ask to speak with would be your therapist.</p>

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<p>“This is an incredibly sensitive topic for me–I’m on the verge of tears just thinking about it.”</p>

<p>I’m on the verge of tears just reading about it.</p>

<p>Kristin, first, good job on the therapy! </p>

<p>Were you my daughter, I’d want you to feel pretty, too, and if you weren’t, I’d want to know about it. (Of course, were you my daughter, I’d tell you that you are gorgeous! But if you weren’t feeling so, yes, I’d want to know.)</p>

<p>I think mentioning the eight years of good haircuts is a low blow; I can understand the thought, but parents generally don’t like it when a kid takes something as an entitlement.</p>

<p>However, mentioning that you’d like to have a good time getting your hair done, as your mom and sister do, would likely work. They enjoy this; if you wanted to share that enjoyment, your mom may respond very positively to that.</p>

<p>There is the possibility that your mom has thought of hair extensions already, but doesn’t want to mention them to you for fear of hurting your feelings. She might – might – be relieved if you bring up the topic, and glad to help with the expense. It’s good that you are willing to pay for these, or help with the expense, and that you have done some research into them. That would tell me, as a mom, that you are serious about this, and that the extensions are important to you.</p>

<p>Good luck, and I hope the haircut is simply smashing!</p>

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<p>And kristin, don’t discount the possibility of getting a really cute, short haircut while waiting for your hair to grow out. A skilled hair stylist can do that, and create it as a cut that will look good while it’s growing out. You may be able to feel good about yourself without the pain and expense of extensions.</p>

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<p>I went to an interesting conference about the treatment of OCD–and yes, kristin, I do get the distinction, but I think you’ll find this interesting anyway. A study was done, giving one group an antidepressant that was known to be helpful for OCD and supporting the other group in stopping the behavior. After a few months of tratment, PET scans were done on the brains of all participants and compared with scans done before treatment.</p>

<p>The brains of the people treated with meds showed significant changes over time, but–drum roll please–so did the brains of the people who stopped the behavior. And the same types of changes for both groups.</p>

<p>Congratulations kristin, for starting and sticking with therapy!</p>

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<p>I wonder if this is why a famous female singer/celebrity cut off all of her hair.</p>

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<p>“The brains of the people treated with meds showed significant changes over time, but–drum roll please–so did the brains of the people who stopped the behavior. And the same types of changes for both groups.”</p>

<p>Thanks bethievt; I can’t stress that enough. I have used both therapies iin my practice, but measure hair regrowth by taking pictures with my cellphone; less scientific but much simpler and outcome oriented! </p>

<p>Kristen; don’t forget to see if anything “prosthetic” is covered by your insurance</p>

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<p>I’m glad therapy worked! I think extensions might put too much stress on your natural hair, though, and you want that to grow out nice.</p>

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<p>Actually, this brings an idea to mind that I’m tossing it out there for anyone who may like a cover for letting/having hair grow back in:</p>

<p>Shaving your head for cancer fundraising, as these two teachers did: [Cancer</a> Fund Raiser Ends in Shaved Heads - AOL Video](<a href=“AOL Video - Serving the best video content from AOL and around the web - AOL.com”>AOL Video - Serving the best video content from AOL and around the web - AOL.com)</p>

<p>I know a mom who is scheduled to get her head shaved soon; she’s participating in a fundraiser for pediatric cancer. Her daughter was diagnosed with cancer right before her daughter’s second birthday, so the cause is very close to her heart.</p>

<p>In a similar vein, my son’s excuse for letting his hair grow long is that he is going to eventually cut it for Locks of Love (<a href=“http://www.locksoflove.org/)%5B/url%5D”>http://www.locksoflove.org/)</a>.</p>

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<p>owlice</p>

<p>Nice!</p>