How Not to Advertise Your Alma Mater

Parent Cafe
1

<p>I’m walking with another middle-aged white-haired parent and an off-leash lab retriever charges towards us, circles us, doesn’t go away, and my friend is scared of big dogs. We see owner-dad and his two middle-schooler kids about 100’ away on their lawn, and call out “please get your dog!”. One boy comes running, gets the dog. Dad silent. I politely say “there’s a leash law here” as the boy says sorry. We walk on, walk back 20 minutes later, and see dad blocking way. He comes close and yells, “YOU were yelling at my young child! How dare you!” (Kid was our height, BTW). We note dog off-leash, running at us, running around us, we called out for help, leash law, recent dog bite in neighborhood, nipped myself a month ago by another off-leash lab, friend scared of dog, etc. And guy keeps ranting - in front of his two kids. Tells us we’re not allowed on his public sidewalk “because it’s his property”.</p>

<p>Two points: </p>

<ol>
<li><p>He’s wearing his college t-shirt. Yes, he’s an alumni of this preppy LAC from a snotty North Shore suburb.</p></li>
<li><p>What lesson for his kids: break local ordinances, hassle old ladies, be a jerk, so long as you’re “defending the kids”. Nice life lesson.</p></li>
</ol>

2

<p>Do you live in the neighborhood? In the summer lots of people that don’t normally live in our area walk down the street and all the dogs big and small yappers go nuts and big dogs can go right through electronic fences. Ours went through a screen door a decade ago while we were eating dinner. It’s a PIA from now 'til cold weather. The man should not have yelled at you when you came back through, but perhaps you might want to choose a different walking loop if your friend is afraid of dogs. Or if you like that loop, you walk it alone a few times until the dog gets used to you and your scent.</p>

3

<p>That’s a bad experience! </p>

<p>Aside from everything else wrong here, you were ON the sidewalk, so it’s obvious you had right to pass back without interference from him. He obstructed your right-of-way. A sidewalk is a public property,and in many communities in addition a thin strip of land beside the sidewalk is “public easement” too. So even if your foot strays off a sidewalk and onto his privately owned property, you even have a right to be there, too. </p>

<p>I wish they’d stop selling t-shirts at thrift shops.</p>

4

<p>“Sir, since you object to my politely reminding your son that there’s a leash law here, the next time your dog charges at me, I’m going to take out my cell phone, call the police, and when the officer arrives, sign a complaint.”</p>

5

<p>Two words: Pepper Spray. Not for the dog, of course. For the owner.</p>

6

<p>I’m sorry, but really? That’s quite the connection you’re inferring… Really, the two have nothing to do with each other.</p>

7

<p>I would be calling 911 on my cellphone. I have been afraid of dogs since bitten as a kid. If my polite warning was not listened to, then I want some muscle to back me up. I absolutely refuse to be a victim.</p>

<p>Interestingly, in my neighborhood, I have never ever since a dog without a leash. I guess people more respectful than the OP’s crazy man.</p>

8

<p>I believe you can call the police and report the incident and have the police pay a nice visit to their house. PM MomofWildChild. She will tell you all about it as it happened to her (or something very similar).</p>

9

<p>You could snap a photo of the dog (off leash) and the man yelling at you IN YOUR FACE and then dial 911, just in case there is later a dispute about what was going on and why you are calling. Sounds rather unpleasant. Around our neighborhood, all the folks keep their dogs on leash except at the dog park (I avoid that area as I’m not overly fond of dogs and less so of ticks and fleas).</p>

10

<p>Agree, let the police know of this guy’s behavior. Sorry, dog lovers, but people have been terrified and injured and killed by big dogs. There really is no excuse for one’s dog terrifying anyone.</p>

11

<p>Himom has a good suggestion, if of course you have a time machine and can go back to re-live the incident. For those who don’t, momof3boys suggests that you stay off public sidewalks where negligent dog owners might live.
I am a dog lover, but I believe people have the right-of-way on sidewalks and other public places, except of course in a designated no leash area.</p>

<p>I like Jym’s suggestion best.</p>

<p>The Dad was an idiot to come yelling at you, although I suspect the kid told Dad you yelled at him. Though inappropriate, Dad was probably acting on what he believed to be true. I really doubt the kid told Dad that: “she politely mentioned there is a leash law”, and then Dad flew off the handle.
I will assume you know the Dad well enough to know he graduated from the school. If you don’t know him, it could be he bought it at a yard sale.</p>

12

<p>I can tell you that the local standard where I live is NOT friendly to leash laws or to people who walk around reminding others about leash laws self-righteously On any weekend afternoon, there may be 4-10 unleashed dogs hanging around with their owners outside, generally minding their own business, but sometimes barking at strangers. In almost 20 years here, no one has been harmed by a dog. The police come through regularly; the dogs bark at them. (Dogs don’t like uniforms much.) The police have better things to do than to enforce leash laws. The postal workers and UPSers (also the target of much dog ire) carry dog biscuits and pepper spray, and one or the other works fine.</p>

<p>I am an unathletic man with a very athletic dog. Our good relationship depends on our ability to exercise at the same time and place, but not exactly the same amount. Also, we don’t always share the same interests – she doesn’t like flowers that much, I lack appreciation for dog poop and pee, and she thinks that deer and squirrels are something someone should do something about. My kids don’t visit often, and my wife works hundreds of miles away. My dog is the reason I live where I do. That’s why I appreciate it so much when someone who thought it would be nice to walk on my lawn informs me sanctimoniously that there are leash laws. </p>

<p>Of course, I try not to be rude to people, and I am responsible for ensuring that my dog doesn’t hurt them. But if they are irrationally afraid of dogs, this is a bad place to walk, and there are lots of better places to walk.</p>

13

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<p>None of the above should matter. Public sidewalks are for the public…regardless of whether they’re residents of the neighborhood in question or not. If dog owners aren’t willing/able to keep their dogs under control…especially in areas where there are leash laws…it begs the question as to whether they’re responsible enough to own dogs. </p>

<p>There isn’t much of a tolerance for unleashed dogs running around on public sidewalks/streets in my NYC neighborhood…or their owners.</p>

14

<p>So many dog owners willfully ignore leash laws, somehow justifying that it doesn’t pertain to them. My neighbor across the street has two horrid, small yappy dogs that come boiling out of her driveway whenever I walk my lab to do her business on her leash. We are on my side of the street, minding our own business (and obeying the leash law) when these little gangsters come rushing up, nipping and snarling at us. Happens several times a week. Occasionally I will hear the neighbor call the dog (from the house, which is set back in the woods), but she does not come to retrieve them. Of course they ignore her completely. Then one of them started pooping (sometimes multiple times in a few minutes) on my side of the street. After that I suggested to her that since she has a fenced yard, she should keep them in it. It is the first time I have ever said anything, although this harassing behavior has been going on for years. She countered that I should just allow my dog to “attack” her dogs “a little bit” to scare them. My dog is 60 pounds and hates these little mutts… I am afraid she would kill one of the small dogs if I let her loose. My neighbor seems to have stopped speaking to me now… which is sad because we used to be good friends.</p>

<p>I should add that another neighbor has two fabulously behaved labs that hang out in their yard all day and won’t give the time of day to another dog, even it if is barking at them. But the neighbor worked tirelessly with those dogs as pups to get them trained like that. Mine is not so well trained, but I keep her on the leash unless no other dogs or people are there, and I can closely supervise.</p>

<p>Anyway, it has nothing to do with the guy’s alma mater, lots of people from lots of backgrounds are jerks when it comes to controlling their dogs.</p>

15

<p>I live in the sububurbs and our dog is leashed. there is no tolerance for unleashed dogs here. i make sure he doesnt bother anyone, and I pick up his wastes when we go for walks. responsible dog ownership.</p>

16

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<p>As a dog owner, I read this and just think, WOW. How do you infer that someone who brings up leash laws is being “self-righteous?” A dog charges and circles and these people are being “self righteous?”</p>

17

<p>Well now I’m going to play devil’s advocate. A laborador retriever is probably the world’s friendliest breed of dog. What you saw as “charging” towards you and encircling, the owner could have perceived as a happy dog running over to greet you in a friendly manner, and trying to play. (There was no growling or barking, I take it). </p>

<p>When you asked for the dog to be retrieved, the boy came right over and rounded him up. Then you reminded him of the leash law.</p>

<p>As I’ve learned, anytime one speaks in a contrary manner to some children, they use the word “yell” to describe that, even if you were even-toned and said it in a whisper! By “yell” they mean, “she told me I was wrong.” I learned that teaching classrooms, as in she “yelled” at me for not bringing in homework. That means, roughly, I said in matter-of-fact tone, “You were supposed to bring in your homework and you didn’t.” </p>

<p>I still think Dad was a jerk to confront you on the sidewalk, however. You had right-of-way and common sense says he should have kept his mouth shut right then. He should realize that some people don’t like ANY dog, and his was off-leash. But knowing that breed, I doubt your friend was in actual danger, atlhough I’m sure she felt very scared. Labs are looking for ponds, fish, ducks and so on. They don’t lunge with aggression. The freuent complaint about them is they wear out their owners in their endless quest for exercise, and need to run some 90 minutes daily (or swim) for a truly happy life. </p>

<p>We have an invisible fence and a big watchdog that really does come from a potentially dangerous breed but we’ve socialized him properly. I don’t blame people for looking at him and being wary just based on his appearance. He’s absolutely compliant to the Invisible Fence. Still, I sometimes drive to a nearby pocket park. If there’s nobody in it, I let him run free with the leash trailing for around l0 minutes. Usually we come and go, seeing no other human. Other times, someone comes into the park. Without needing a reminder, I realize it’s up to me to right the balance. I grab up the leash immediately, so it’s obvious he’s under control. I don’t want anyone to be scared. I wouldn’t dream of arguing since I’d knowingly broken the rule, so I have no leg to stand on. But if, after getting the dog promptly back under control, someone intoned “leash law” at me, I think I’d find that unnecessary, or as JHS called it, sanctimonious. </p>

<p>I’m thinking that basically, the family did what you asked -immediately rounded up their dog, who wasn’t actually hurting anyone. It’s true your friend was scared, based on many other experiences, but that’s not identical to saying the dog was hurting her. Her fear was hurting her, and that’s upsetting (for you, too). But I’m not sure the dog hurt her.</p>

<p>It’s just another way to look at this incident. Leash laws are designed to keep dogs “under control.” It sounds like this lab approached you in an exuberant, overly friendly manner, and the family was right on hand to round him up. He didn’t run away from the family, but was compliant to the boy. I can make a case that the family had him under control.</p>

<p>I guess it’s hard if one’s not familiar with dogs or has had bad experiences with them. I taught in a poverty urban school where most children had terrifying perceptions of dogs. They were traumatized, growing up around fighting dogs and guard dogs snarling at the ends of chains. I pitched it to the principal to allow the city’s humane society to bring in a therapeutic dog so the children could pet one safely. It’s one of their programs to teach people to love animals. I got a fast “NO” from the principal.</p>

18

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<p>Where in the world did you get that from? The OP made very clear that she and her friend were on the public sidewalk, not on the guy’s lawn.</p>

19

<p>Dog owners shouldn’t assume that because their dog is friendly and harmless, it is okay to let him/her go rushing up to strangers.</p>

<p>I also dislike being rushed by a barking dog, and the worst is when the dog jumps up on you. Recently I was out for a walk in shorts, and the jumping dog scratched my legs. </p>

<p>Often, the owner is standing close by and calls the dog AFTER all the rushing, barking and jumping has been done. </p>

<p>Often, the owner has a leash in his/her hand and could have prevented the unwelcome encounter.</p>

<p>I thank owners who have their dogs on leashes, and I have started speaking to people about putting their dog on leash when the dog is jumping on me.</p>

20

<p>Wow. </p>

<p>Disclaimer: love dogs of all shapes and sizes, have never had a bad experience with a dog, grew up in an area where labs and other hunting dogs were the pets of choice, and have frequently been with hunting dogs off leash… When they are actively working. On land/water where they are retrieving, waiting to retrieve, flushing birds, pointing, working at competitions. </p>

<p>However, I do not want to meet your off leash, uncontrolled dog off your property when I am minding my own business. I don’t care how lovely he is, how much he loves people, how jumping and charging is his cute way of saying hello. The point is, I know what an off leash dog that is actually under voice control acts like. They don’t take off at whim. They don’t charge, or joyously put their paws on anyone without permission. They sit, stay, lay down on command. </p>

<p>All the justifying In the world doesn’t change the fact that if your dog won’t obey your voice or hand signals to stop, stay, sit every single time, and if you aren’t present, willing and able to control your dog, he should not be off leash at any time except in a fenced yard or dog park. </p>

<p>And you’d better believe that that one little “oops” moment when he knocks over an elderly person, chases down a preschooler, or gets a little carried away and bites someone when he’s off leash is going to result in a world of hurt for you, the dog owner.</p>