How NOT to communicate with your College Interviewer

Applying to College
1

<p>I am an alumni interviewer for a “prestigious” school, and just wanted to share this appalling email exchange with an applicant in the hopes that some others will benefit from the mistakes here: </p>

<p>Date: Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:33:38 -0500
From: interviewer
Subject: (College X) Interview
To: applicant</p>

<p>Hello, Applicant,
I am a X Alum, and will be your Interviewer for X through the Alumni Interviewing Program. I live in xxxx, and would be happy to meet with you at your convenience any time in the next 2 weeks. We can meet at the library, at Starbucks, or anyplace you would feel comfortable.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Interviewer</p>

<p>Interviewer contact information
p: xxx-xxx-xxxx
c: xxx-xxx-xxxx</p>

<p>From: applicant
Sent: Friday, January 18, 2008 10:45 AM
To: interviewer
Subject: RE: X Interview</p>

<p>Hi (first name of interviewer),
It is nice to hear from you. This week I am busy with track and other academic things but I think I am free next Sunday. I cannot wait to tell you more about me and learn more about X. Let me know if next Sunday works for you.</p>

<p>Date: Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:33:38 -0500
From: interviewer
Subject: (College X) Interview
To: applicant</p>

<p>Hi XXX,
Thanks for responding. Unfortuntely I am only in (town name) during the work week, is there some time during the week that we could meet?
Thanks
XXX</p>

<p>Date: Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:33:38 -0500
From: applicant
Subject: (College X)Interview
To: interviewer</p>

<p>Hi (first name again),</p>

<p>If we cannot meet on the weekends then maybe we could meet after school at 2:50 in the (School name) library or cafeteria. If you can then I can meet any day of the week. let me know if this works for you.</p>

<p>Applicant </p>

<p>Date: Sun, 20 Jan 2008 21:13:14 -0500
From: interviewer
Subject: Re: (College X)Interview
To: interviewer</p>

<p>(Applicant name), please give another alternative, as I don’t know my way around (high school name). Could you come to Starbucks or the Library?
Sincerely,
Interviewer</p>

<p>Date: Thurs, 24 Jan 2008 21:13:14 -0500
From: applicant
Subject: Re: (College X) Interview
To: interviewer</p>

<p>(no salutation)
We could try to meet after track practice at around 6:00 if there is no other way. I will have to find a day that I can do this though. We could meet at The Diner or the library.
(no signature)</p>

2

<p>annelise - I agree it gives the impression that the kid doesn’t give a d___. But maybe its a case of being really naive, not rude? From another country? Aspergers?</p>

3

<p>My son and I had a series of e-mail exchanges this week in which I tried to explain that, being old and out of date, I appreciated greeting and closing lines, not just a few brief words. I was told that I was, indeed, acting old and out of date to expect those niceties on e-mails.</p>

<p>When he was in high school, my H and I had to remind him several times that one addressed adults, even those he knew well, as Mr/Ms/Dr./Professor on all written communications. I can imagine not all parents even know their kids are violating these rules, so no one is correcting them.</p>

<p>As for the specifics of this situation, your initial e-mail did say “any time” and “anyplace you would feel comfortable”. Perhaps you should have specified from the start that weekends were out, and “anyplace” did not include his school building. Not all kids have cars and the ability to get off-campus during school hours.</p>

4

<p>Thank You, Midmo for putting this appropriately…Unfortunately for the OP, this is “e-mail speak”…The applicant was not trying to be rude or disinterested IMO (and I am not a student, but a parent)…Yes, I agree that we need to instruct our kids in online manners, but I wouldn’t necessarily evaluate this kid’s interest in your school based on these exchanges…Now, if this student appears at the interview to be apathetic or has an attitude, then that’s another story…</p>

5

<p>I just want to clarify - is the OP’s issue with the lack of appropriate salutation and signature, or is it because the student had extreme scheduling difficulty ?</p>

6

<p>Also, another thought. Our schools GC suggests the HS or public library as a good place to meet - the food etiquette can be confusing to teens. As an example, if the alum offers to buy, is that a real offer - or is the teen supposed to politely refuse & pay for themselves. Some people get offended if they are refused, other get offended if they are taken up on the offer.</p>

7

<p>“I just want to clarify - is the OP’s issue with the lack of appropriate salutation and signature, or is it because the student had extreme scheduling difficulty ?”</p>

<p>Northeast: Ditto on your questions and on your comments…I didn’t want to be the first one to chime in for fear of being attacked, but I too am not sure what the exact issue is here…</p>

8

<p>annelise, as you can see, even parents are not sure exactly what lesson you are trying to teach to applicants, so it would be helpful if you spelled out, for prospective students, how you think the communication should have transpired.</p>

9

<p>This is from a parent’s perspective. Yes, this is quite the appalling exchange. My child gets a charming note from a school he is very interested in by someone who sounds extremely flexible. They say they will “be happy to meet with you at your convenience any time in the next 2 weeks” and “anyplace you would feel comfortable.” My child, who is also very busy, as are most seniors, especially those applying to elite schools, throws out a time. This “flexible” interviewer writes back that oops, they didn’t mean any time, but only on a weekday. Now the kid is scrambling to squish this interview into his schedule. He offers a time and a place her feels comfortable, and will allow him to still make activities. The interviewer writes back that well, they didn’t really mean the “any place” part. I got to tell you. As an adult, if the interviewer had this exchange with me, I’d drop the interview, and call the school asking for a more professional alumni interviewer.</p>

<p>Helpful hints in setting up interviews. Unless you are really that flexible, offer three times and places you can make. Often interviewees, given exact times and places can then juggle other stuff to make one of those time. If they are told anytime, anyplace they will try and fit it in around other stuff, rather than fitting in other stuff around the interview.</p>

<p>Yes, the student could have been better at the salutations. That said, after 20 years working in the high tech industry, most adults don’t think of email as requiring proper salutations, especially after the first few exchanges.</p>

10

<p>I’m an adult who also is an alum interviewer. I don’t see any problem with how the applicant responded. Salutations and closings aren’t necessary in e-mail. Welcome to the modern age. Sending an e-mail isn’t the same as sending a business letter.</p>

<p>The problem that I see is that the interviewer was not clear about their parameters. </p>

<p>In the interviewer’s first post, the person indicated that they could meet at any time or any place in the applicant’s hometown. Each time that the applicant offered a place/time, however, the interviewer indicated that was not possible. If I were the student, I’d be very confused. </p>

<p>Instead of offering a wide open field, it would have been better if the interviewer had offered a specific date, place and time in their first e-mail. I also think it’s easier to arrange interviews by calling applicants than by e-mailing them.</p>

<p>While students can be difficult to reach due to their busy schedules, I’ve found that as long as I’m willing to take return calls after 9 p.m., the students quickly call me back.</p>

11

<p>I see 3 lessons…</p>

<p>Interviewer could have controlled the exchange better by starting off with a selection of dates and times. </p>

<p>Student sometimes has to prioritize and take the interview over the practice (DS had to skip a playoff football practice to go to HMudd for interview, and you can be sure he mentioned school name and the fact that he gave up appt at another school…neglected to mention to coach that the 2nd was easy to reschedule). Its a LOT easier to get a kid to do this if the interview time is not totally flexible.</p>

<p>Always opt for polite in e-mails & conversations with people you don’t know, particularly if they are in a position of power. I will definitely be reminding DS of this when I get home tonight!</p>

12

<p>Not that I care, but the point of this thread is definetely firing back on the OP, haha.</p>

13

<p>I only intended to create an object lesson here- I think that it is enough to show, right or wrong, that there are subtle ways that an interviewer can be offended or turned off to an applicant. With all the “What do I wear? What do I say?” threads, I think this is useful information. I’m just saying—before you even get dressed or think of what to say—why not use any and all of your opportunities wisely?</p>

<p>First of all, lax modern conventions or not, there is absolutely no excuse for omitting an appropriate salutation to an adult stranger.</p>

<p>I felt that the applicant was flippant and arrogant- implying that their schedule was more important to mine. I felt that the student communicated to me that “fitting me in” to their busy schedule was a low priority. I was also peeved that 3-4 days passed between each communication.</p>

<p>I felt that the applicant did not indicate any real desire to arrange the appointment with expediency or use the opportunity of the email exchanges either to sound pleasant, to make a good impression, or to convey interest in the institution— all of which, by the way, are considered things that an interviewer could comment on in an interview report.</p>

<p>How about something like:
Dear Ms. XXX
Thank you so much for contacting me about my XXX application, I look forward to the opportunity to meet you. I am very interested in (your beloved Alma Mater). Unfortunately at this time, its the middle of (track season, play rehearsals whatever) and I am tied up until (whenever), but I can make myself available either A. B. or C. I hope that one of these works for you. Please feel free to contact me at (cell phone number here).
Sincerely,
Nice Applicant</p>

14

<p>Sorry, annelise - I can’t take your lessons from the e-mail exchange you just quoted (and I’m a parent). It doesn’t sound to me like the student wasn’t interested or put a low priority on the interview. It sounds like the student was taking you up on your offer of “any time, any place”. You wrote a suggestion for the student, a teenager without a lot of experience in setting up interviews.</p>

<p>I’d offer this suggestion for you, as an experienced adult to begin the exchange:
Hello, Applicant,
I am a X Alum, and will be your Interviewer for X through the Alumni Interviewing Program. I live in xxxx, and would be happy to meet with you during the next two weeks. I am available on weekdays after 2 PM. We can meet at the public library, or at Starbucks.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Interviewer</p>

15

<p>Thanks, annelise, for a lesson. I really learned something: sometimes people will not be satisfied no matter what you do.</p>

<p>“Let me know if next Sunday works for you.” “let me know if this works for you.” Clearly, he was concerned with your schedule. </p>

<p>Put yourself in the position of a student. It’s difficult to know how to e-mail an adult who has such sway over your future. I know that it took me an hour before I hit the “send” button on my first reply to an e-mail from one of my interviewers. Perhaps nerves could have been the reason for the delay between communications? Perhaps the student does not have consistent access to the internet/a computer? There are many possibilities.</p>

16

<p>annelise, I appreciate your posting of this exchange. Unfortunately, sometimes it becomes clear that 95% of communication is body language and inflection – which are both impossible to discern in written format – an email, or this bulletin board.</p>

<p>I can see how you could easily interpret the student’s responses as lacking flexibility and enthusiasm for the college you represent. The student’s email of 1/24 gives the impression the student is frustrated when writing “if there is no other way”. That phrase crossed the line into impoliteness.</p>

<p>Nonetheless, as posters above me have pointed out, your communication appears flawed at a deeper level, not one requiring inference. The factual content of your email was flawed. This is probably a result of your being too polite! You were not in fact available “any time”. You in fact were not available “any place you feel comfortable”. </p>

<p>No body language or inflection allowance can rescue your communication from the dumpster labeled “poorly written”.</p>

<p>I hope you can recognize this unintended mixed message from your emails and give this student a fresh start.</p>

17

<p>The time sequence of the emails is a bit confusing; the second one is Friday but third one is Wednesday. So saying on Friday that you’re busy all the next week till Sunday (SSMTWThFS) is a little weird if you really want to act excited.</p>

18

<p>“Applicant name), please give another alternative, as I don’t know my way around (high school name).”</p>

<p>I particularly didn’t understand this message to the applicant. I’ve interviewed at high schools that I’d never stepped foot in before. Just like an applicant would be expected to find a college admissions office for an interview, an alum interviewer should be able to find a high school library, cafeteria or whatever place is offered as a location to interview a student. All one has to do is check in at the main office, which is typical for all visitors. They’ll gladly provide directions. If one is concerned about doing this, one could ask the student to meet you at the high school’s front door.</p>

<p>This part of the exchange in particular doesn’t reflect well on the interviewer’s problem solving skills.</p>

<p>If I had been the student, I’d probably scratch the school off my list. If I were the parent, I’d be suggesting that my student scratch the school off their list. The exception would be if I knew enough about the college to realize that the interviewer’s actions didn’t reflect the kind of education that people got at that college, and the way that the college treated people. In that case, I’d forward the e-mails to the admissions office and try to arrange an interview with a different person.</p>

<p>I really do think that the student has gone way out of their way to be accommodating and to show interest.</p>

19

<p>

</p>

<p>I beg to differ. They may not be needed when the parties involved in the e-mail conversation know each other really well.</p>

<p>Here are the salutation rules for business communications recommended by Netmanners:</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>[Email</a> Etiquette: Business Email Etiquette Basics](<a href=“http://www.netmanners.com/business-email-basics.html]Email”>http://www.netmanners.com/business-email-basics.html)</p>

20

<p>I too have been doing alumni interviews for a “prestigious” school for over 10 years, and see nothing wrong with the way the student responded (except perhaps for the use of the interviewer’s first name). The student expressed interest in the school, excitement over the possibility of an interview, and suggested various times and places What more could you want?</p>

<p>We are told every year that we are selling the school as much as the students are trying to impress us. If I was that student and got that exchange of emails (and especially if I saw the exchange posted here), I would not be overly impressed with the school.</p>

<p>Actually, the only object lesson I take from this thread is that the “prestigious” school of the OP turns out some arrogant alumni.</p>