<p>I’m sure it depends on where they are in life–first year of college, senior in college, just graduated, five years post grad, married, married with kids. Personalities factor in, too. Some kids are natural communicators and others are not. </p>
<p>This could include texts, phone calls, skype, etc.</p>
<p>Just curious.</p>
<p>D1-first year Ph.D. student many states away: texts every few days, phone call once a week.</p>
<p>D2-freshman at instate public U: daily texts, occasional phone calls (if something is wrong or she needs money, usually). She also wants to come home for a weekend about once every 4-6 weeks.</p>
<p>Every day. Usually over IM or email.</p>
<p>Older daughter is a college freshman. Texts almost daily- occasionally skips a day. We speak on the phone 2-3 times a week. She usually calls me, but I will often do the calling on a Sunday morning. Sometimes I speak more to her than to my high school sophomore, who is always locked in her room working for hours and hours.</p>
<p>D1, 7 years out of school, rarely texts, calls, or emails. With our recent snowstorm I checked online and found her place of employment was closed. I texted her several times that day with no response. I sent a couple more the following day. I finally got an answer to ARE YOU OK? “If you want responses to your texts you should have raised needier kids.”</p>
<p>D2 and S text or call every week or two. No news is good news at our house.</p>
<p>DS1 typically calls on Sundays. Sometimes we talk for 10 minutes, sometimes 30. We take care of “business” via text or email in between.</p>
<p>Not a parent but I have 2 older bros in college (well sort of)</p>
<p>Oldest: Married with a kid in Baltimore (we are in CA) -> medical student and he calls my parents every 3 days. He texts me all the time though.</p>
<p>Second: In DC at GTown U -> used to call everyday but not texts once in awhile when he needs something. He comes home for every break though. Like Spring Break right now.</p>
<p>D- Living at home, working and finishing a master’s program. So I see her every day.</p>
<p>S- 2 years past BS, working and living 1 1/2 hours away. Usually only hear something when there’s a problem! Another house where “no news is good news”!</p>
<p>College sophomore daughter about five hours from home - “hello” texts every day or two, usually intitiated by me and not always responded to. Phone calls, once a week or so, initiated by DD and usually about an issue, not just to chat. Weekly Sunday night skype date with the entire family.</p>
<p>I read a cute story, not sure if it is true or not, about a parent who sent their college child texts and the child never responded. The parent finally sent a text that said “Guess what? We were talking and decided that you need a new car.” The child immediately responded, “Really? That’s great. When will I get it?” Parent answered back, “No new car, just checking to see if you were getting my texts.” :)</p>
<p>D: 24, has a full-time job in NYC. Calls us for a long chat once a week, and she and I exchange lots of short emails, usually passing interesting links back and forth.</p>
<p>S: College junior, calls me a few times a week for short chats and will call H in the evenings to talk about sports. We also trade emails with him during the week.</p>
<p>DS- 2 1/2 years out of college and lives about 6 hours away, calls every weekend to “check in” as he’s been doing since he left home for college. He’ll call more often if there’s something to say or plans to be made. (hoping I can keep this going indefinitely ;))</p>
<p>DD- six years out of college, lives 20 minutes from our house and drops in weekly, texts a couple times a week.</p>
<p>D: 2 years out of college and lives 5 hours away (works on the other side of the country Monday - Thursday). I hear from her every few days if she is having issues in her life (sick, stressed, etc) … and maybe once a week or so (sometimes it’s two weeks) if her life is going swimmingly. She will text or call if she wants to share something in particular.</p>
<p>S: Lives at home (goes to a commuter school) - talks when he feels like it - otherwise, pretty much ignores me! He was away at school freshman year, and I never heard from him (although I would get a text once in awhile).</p>
<p>D and S1 are both out of college, in the working world and do not live at home. D emails everyday, calls once a week and visits on Sundays. S1 texts or calls every day and visits on Sundays. S2 lives here and is a senior in high school. We chat all the time, eat dinner with him every night, and we all get together on Sundays.</p>
<p>S1 will respond to my check-in texts every few weeks. I know to not try more often or he will completely ignore my communications. However, if it is urgent he does respond right away and he is good at keeping us updated if it is important. The general mantra around here is “no news is good news.”</p>
<p>I suspect S2 will be far more communicative when he leaves home.</p>
<p>Oldest is 30, just started her first full time job post grad school ( she had been freelancing)
She calls her dad every month or so. We saw her at Christmas. Me, she asked not to contact her & she has blocked email & phone.</p>
<p>Youngest is still in college, she emails or texts at least every week & generally replies to mine. In the past 30 days H has gone to her college town three times, I accompanied him twice & she still says she misses us.</p>
<p>Oldest -texts almost every day, calls maybe once a week usually walking from class to house. Youngest - depends on week but about the same. In same town so I often see D2 at church. Most texts are just chit chat with occasional picture of cute animal…I think it’s just something to do between classes.</p>
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<p>I’m sorry. 
This is obviously not your wish. I hope she will learn to “forgive” whatever the transgression on your part as she sees it, in time. </p>
<p>I have a good friend who had a similar relationship with a step-child, and over the course of a year, she was able to turn it around. The dad had to play a role, however, and point out the unfairness of not allowing her step mom to “make amends.” </p>
<p>I hope things can work out for you. You must miss her terribly.</p>
<p>D, college senior, texts once or twice a week, usually with cute/interesting tidbits. We Skype once or twice per semester.</p>
<p>S21 replies to texts but never initiates unless there’s a problem. He is home for spring break though and quite talkative (yay!). </p>
<p>S17 barely communicates with us now. He is cut out for a career at the CIA! Not sure we’ll notice when he leaves for college except for the lower grocery bill! :-)</p>
<p>Sent from my SGH-T989 using CC</p>
<p>I hope things can work out for you. You must miss her terribly.</p>
<p>Thank you for the kind words. it is hard, especially since basically she hasn’t lived at home for over ten years after she went off to college, so it was very unexpected.</p>
<p>Before my mother & maternal grandmother passed away, I spoke to my grandma every day and my mom, at least three days a week. ( my mom was very busy with her other grandchildren so I didn’t feel the need to keep in touch so much as with my grandmother)
However, I probably didn’t start that pattern until I started a family, when I was 24.</p>
<p>I also worry about her, because I am concerned that there could be a physical cause that isn’t being addressed. ( she has always struggled with anxiety, but as she hasn’t had insurance, she hasn’t been to a dr as far as I know for quite a while, even though I have offered to pay for it)</p>
<p>However, a friend helped me put it in perspective by saying that D1 knows that no matter what she does, that I will always be there for her & she just needs to work through whatever it is on her own schedule.
She also was an extremely happy and easy child to raise so perhaps this is teen angst that is only now breaking through the surface. 
</p>
<p>I share this in case there are other parents whose children are estranged reading this, to say they aren’t alone. And to remind their children that I imagine their parents feel about them,the way I feel about mine, even as adults. That there is nothing imaginable ( or unimaginable) that they could do or say that could ever diminish the love I have for them and that just as when they were toddlers and were practicing venturing away from momma, even when it seems like I am not paying attention, I always have them in my sight and on my mind.</p>
<p>Having children is deciding to wear your heart outside your body & that decision is permanent, no matter how capable & mature they are.</p>