<p>Just let your kids know a bit ahead of time that you are thinking of coming and ask if it is alright with them. My son lives within a half hour of us. We go see him once a month and have lunch or dinner and he usually comes home one weekend a month. He invites us to different things on campus. I really don’t get why people are worried about seeing their kids too much. I see parents on campus a lot, especially when moving in and out and football weekends.</p>
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<p>I quite agree. Around here (and maybe it’s a southern thing) parents tend to see their kids pretty frequently if they are within driving distance. We have at least a half-dozen schools within 40 minutes of here. Not unusual for kids to come home one or twice a month for at least a quick visit. Football is a big deal here and many people attend the football games where their kids are attending college. No one seems to think it’s strange. Although, I do think it’s wise to let your kid define the terms of your visit to campus. If they only want a quick lunch with you, you need to respect that.</p>
<p>Son is in New England so we try to make it back once a term. Will be going back next weekend. We bring along his sister who is a Senior in High School. Will spend two days in Maine and then go see the boy. His sister will hang out one night in his dorm. We usually take a nice car ride and see some obscure sights. Went to Ben & Jerry’s factory last year. I think this year we will go to Fort Ticonderoga. In Fall go back when their is a football game. That is always fun.</p>
<p>Daughter is in Providence, RI. We live in the midwest. Next week, we are going to see her to bring her home. A long Road Trip. We’re stopping couple of days at our best friends in Ohio. We plan to be in Providence for 3 days and then the long drive back. We have been there one time to drop her off freshman year. It goes oh so fast. She’s a Junior now. We always take the friends for a dinner and try to make the students lives a little better than when we arrived.
My son was couple of hours away from home. We would visit 3 times a year. Once as a family, once for dad’s day and once for mom’s weekend. We always had lots of fun. We fed the troops, took the son out for presents (trip to walmart for snacks, local mall for clothes and much needed haircut) and would play pool or go to football games.</p>
<p>When DS was in the same time zone, we went to all of his orchestral concerts. We NEVER visited him just for the sake of visiting (undergrad was just 2 hours away). We only went to Parents Weekend his freshman year.</p>
<p>DD is 3000 miles away. We dropped her off as a freshman and will go there for the first time for graduation in June. </p>
<p>To be honest, our kids had their own lives and time commitments while in college. They were here for Thanksgiving and Christmas…and again spring break and summer. Adding two or three times to the fall semester in particular would have probably been too much.</p>
<p>Remember, your kids will also have midterms and other exams and projects…and their college social life.</p>
<p>I would discuss this with the college kids. Really, I’d take THEIR lead (although I DO think a visit for a special birthday outing…not ON the birthday…would be great).</p>
<p>We go for all the football games for both. For S1, we probably saw him for one thing or another about once a month in the off season. His school was only an hour away so it was easy to take him out to dinner and/or grocery shopping on our way to and from hiking since we went right by his school. He also tended to want various things from home that we would drop off and we planned hikes (for ourselves, not with him) around those trips. He never came home other than Thanksgiving and Christmas. S2’s school is 5 hours away, so beyond football we don’t visit there and he doesn’t come here except for the two main holidays, although lots of other students at his school do seem to make the drive home pretty regularly.</p>
<p>S1 was 800 miles away. One visit per year, usually for FB game, although we went to see the marching band.</p>
<p>This year, S2 is a frosh 500+ miles away. Have made 3 visits because he is a musician and music major. Traveled for all the “big” concerts, but certainly missed many, many more than attended. Doubt will go more often in future, but time will tell… </p>
<p>The real answer to “reasonable number of visits” depends on you and your kids relationship, their level of maturity, and your being able to let go. College is their life, not yours.</p>
<p>oldest son went to school 30 miles from home. sometimes i would be running errands or getting groceries in the college town–mostly because it was the nearest place to do so!</p>
<p>i wouldn’t even call most of the time, but sometime we’d meet in the parking lot–to drop off or pick up laundry–maybe a quick lunch now and then. i never went to his dorm other than to move in–not even there to move out. never saw his friends or hung out on campus with him. he would meet us at a tailgate now and then–free food and beer! it would have been very easy to see him all the time, but i felt it was important not to do so. besides, had a younger son at home who was very, very busy.</p>
<p>youngest went to school 1100 miles from home. i resisted visiting his dorm room or frat until he was a junior–he was more than happy to show off his digs and his house. whenever we visit, we take several kids to lunch or dinner as that is the norm. we’ve been on the campus to tour libraries and view sites–but it was such a beautiful campus compared to older son’s state university that we just had to see everything!</p>
<p>to each his own–ask your kids what they want. visit when they ask – and don’t expect much more than a meal and/or a trip to target! this is really their time and they will share when they want!</p>
<p>When D1 first went away, she had a deal with D2 where D2 would give her heads up if we were to decide to drive up to see her unannounced. In three years, D2 never had to do that.</p>
<p>Son is finishing his jr year. I have been to his campus twice. First year moving him in and soph year we were on our way to another destination and we spent the night in his college town. Took him out to dinner for his birthday. We left the next morning. H has done both of the pickups at the end of the year. This year my youngest went up with my H for the drop off. He is not coming home till later in the summer. H will probably go pick him up. He is 5 hours from home. He would probably not mind us visiting but he is happy and busy. He does come home for Thanksgiving, winter break and spring break. This will be the first summer he is not spending at home.
If it was my D I would probably visit more.</p>