How often does kid not get into any colleges?

Parents Forum
81

OP- big hug to you. And a kiss. This is surely stressful.

I have three suggestions for you (and yes, by now as you have seen, your situation is uncommon but not unusual. I think I know at least half a dozen kids over the last few years in my town who have been in your D’s predicament).

1- Stop- right now- categorizing the colleges as reach/match/safety. It’s handy- but ultimately it is terribly demoralizing to your D. Imagine being wait listed at a safety school. A SAFETY? OMG. Or rejected? Shoot me now. So from now on-- all colleges get referred to by their proper name. Level playing field. Every college holds something fabulous and valuable and exciting for your D, and the goal is to get her an education commensurate with her talents and abilities regardless of what the college is named or where it fits into some artificial construct.

2- Stop- right now- second guessing anything. Mostly because it won’t help, increases your anxiety, and is going to contribute to the general tone in your household for the next week. It is what it is. Nobody has cancer (I hope), thank god your D is healthy. She did nothing wrong, you did nothing wrong, GC did nothing wrong. The goal is to move forward, not to give yourself a permanent neck injury by looking backwards.

3- Start making a list (just for yourself, do not share with your D at this point) of colleges you guys overlooked for various reasons this past fall which could/might/maybe be acceptable if your D takes a gap year and does something fabulous (teaches dance? works as a nanny in Paris for an American family? volunteers for a worthwhile project somewhere?) The women’s colleges- Smith? Mt Holyoke? Catholic colleges- Fordham, Holy Cross? For a lot of families, once one college of a particular “type” gets knocked off the list, the rest of that group get knocked off as well and never get a serious look again. There are dozens of fabulous places who would love to admit your D but they don’t know about her. Realizing that even with your D’s long list, there are STILL dozens of great colleges is going to help mitigate some of her anxiety.

I think you did get some “off” advice but that’s neither here nor there at this point. There are places where being a
talented dancer is indeed a hook and others where it’s just “ok, another dancer with high scores and good grades, chuck her onto the pile”. That doesn’t mean your D isn’t special and fantastic and wonderful- it just means that colleges which are magnets for serious students and talented dancers get to pick and choose. I also think your GC might have suggested trimming the list of out of state public colleges to the 2 best matches and then REALLY showing those colleges the love. Bottom line is that nobody needs a full handful of “likely admit” colleges- they need one, two is nice to have so there is the actual “I choose you” component. But not more than that. It is too hard to show the love so many times; the colleges that practice yield protection are serious about it, and there is no way they are admitting a kid in the top of the statistical applicant pool that hasn’t wowed them with her knowledge of and love of their institution.

Ignore the waitlist issue for now. The best leverage you have on a wait list is “If you admit me today I will attend” and you aren’t in a position to do that. Yes, it would be nice if your GC was formulating a plan, but it’s too early for a plan. And I wouldn’t invest too much time in the whole “why didn’t she get accepted” scenario with the GC and the Adcom. First, because it doesn’t sound like your GC is terribly plugged in to that whole scene and a reluctant messenger/sales person might be worse than no sales person. And second- if you end up having to redo some applications for next year, you’ll have the luxury of time to recalibrate and your D will be a different person next year when she applies.

Go hug your D and reassure her that everything is going to be great. She’ll either be looking at the proverbial fat envelope in not too long, or you guys will figure out a Plan B which is going to be awesome.

And try to mean it.

Big hug to you.

82

I agree with @ClassicRockerDad. There some surprisingly good schools that appear on the list of schools accepting applications after May 1, so there’s plenty of hope. It seems like your daughter has the drive to get an excellent education wherever she goes.

I think the lesson for parents and students that will be applying in the future is to be sure to include some public universities in the list, particularly those known for offering generous merit. I’ve gotten the impression while reading the CC threads that public schools tend to be less concerned with yield than private universities that need to maintain a USNWR ranking in order to continue to attract students.

83

With respect to yield protection and “level of applicant’s interest”, you can check whether the college considers that in its common data set section C7, or its admissions info on http://www.collegedata.com .

84

Everyone’s positive thoughts and prayers worked. After 6 denials/deferments/waitlists, we got an acceptance today from school #7! Hooray! Daughter feels proud and happy. The stress has completely left my body and there is peace.

I am truly grateful for the time each of you took to send good wishes her way and to share your insight. It was VERY comforting while going through this and it was good to have so much brain power thinking of things to consider and do (I made a list of everyone’s awesome suggestions for WL’s). Plus, I am convinced the positive vibes worked! I actually feel a bit silly now but when going through it, it seemed like such a crazy, dark, unbelievable place - to have known how hard she had worked for so many years and all that she had sacrificed to do the “right thing” and then to have the possibility that all of that work may not pay off? I know it wasn’t cancer or a tragic event but it still felt like a very dark place and I do not wish it on anyone.

So. . .I know you are all wondering where!?! Boston College wants my daughter! Hooray! We are still waiting to hear from more schools (still another 8 with the deferments) - and I promise to keep everyone posted. If anyone should ever find themselves in this same unfortunate place, I hope they can find this thread full of resources, awesome recommendations and hope at the very end. Good night all!

Here is the list of things to do if waitlisted (thanks to all of you):

  1. let them know now, not after all the other decisions come out, that she will attend if accepted. She should ask her GC to send most recent grades to that school.
  2. In another few weeks, say around the very beginning of April, she should email again to say it’s her first choice and provide any new info.
    3)She can also ask her GC to let the admissions office know if a school is her top choice.
  3. strongly suggest visiting the school and show a ton of love. A TON of it.
  4. Ask admissions about which professor you could email to ask about research opportunities.
  5. Ask about an overnight visit. Anything and everything to show that the applicant really is very interested.
  6. a phone call that essentially says “if you would admit me, I’ll send the reservation commitment check” by Fedex today. In such a circumstance, you should work down the waitlist list from most preferred so that you can say honestly that you’d come if admitted.
  7. Your description sets off an alarm, based on another person’s experience a while back, of which I am personally, directly aware (not my child, though). We had an applicant with very good qualifications who targeted an elite school and was deferred in early admissions. He had a consultant who called to ask about strengthening the application, and the admissions officer said something to the effect that “it can never hurt to have additional recommendations”. It seemed to be an odd comment, but he applicant did that, and was admitted. Later, after matriculating, he went to look at his application file and discovered that one of his original recommenders, who had actually volunteered to write the recommendation, had essentially damned him with faint praise and a conclusion that he probably wasn’t “school x” material. He and his family were stunned.
  8. Also you should really choose one of the WL to target…with the “if you admit me i definitely will attend and you are my top choice”…but look at the Common Data Sets to see which of the colleges has the greatest % of waitlist admissions.
85

Congrats to you and your daughter! BC is a great school!

“1) let them know now, not after all the other decisions come out, that she will attend if accepted.”

Honestly, I would not say “will attend if accepted” to waitlisted schools unless you really mean it and that probably can’t be done until all decisions are made.

86

So thrilled! I bet you will have other good news coming your D’s way, too. Please keep us all in the loop.

87

I’m so glad she got some great news today. You can relax now and wait on the other chips to fall where they may. If all the others fall through, she has a great option at BC. She should love the school(s) that love her back.

88

BC is an awesome school. Congrats!

89

@3littlebirds I have been reading this thread with interest and I’m so happy for you and your daughter! What a huge relief. As the mom of a Junior who is also very artsy, I wonder if you would list the schools that you thought were safeties that turned out not to be. I think it would be informative for those of us about to start the process. Again, congrats to all of you!

@blossom

I think this is absolutely priceless advice for everyone. Its unfortunately that “safety” has become almost a derogatory term, but the truth is some of the schools that are “likely” admits also offer some truly remarkable opportunities. We were lucky enough to learn this lesson when D chose her “safety” over her what she originally thought was her dream school. Its been one of the best decisions she ever made. I will also ad, for anyone who may read this thread in the future, to think about applying to a likely school with EA or rolling admissions. There is nothing as comforting as having an acceptance in hand to a school you would be happy attending.

90

Update - now in at Villanova too!

Okay - I will post. I was reluctant to post because I know people are going to debate the label “safety” for many of these or perhaps all of them. We based this on our counselor’s recommendations and what’s done is done (fortunately, it did work out for us but not without a lot of angst).

So here it goes - I’m sure it will spur lots of conversation. I am naming them all but feel funny publicly calling any school a safety, especially after what we just experienced, so I am not going to do it. Many of these schools had a 50/50 chance based on scores and stats and school relationship and several of these schools had never denied someone with as high of stats as my daughter per Naviance. As my GC said the other day, it almost seems like you have to ED to your safety. . . I do think the definition of safety should be auto admit - that is not what our definition was going in but it will be for my younger kids. Hope this is helpful.

BC - ACCEPT
BU - WL
Cornell
Dartmouth
Duke - denied
Emory - denied
Michigan - deferred
Northwestern - denied
Penn
Princeton
Tulane - WL
USC
Vanderbilt
Villanova - ACCEPT
Wake Forest

91

If BC and Villanova are affordable admits, then they are now safeties.

Conversely, waitlist schools BU and Tulane are now super reaches.

92

@3littlebirds That list looks exactly like many lists for the top students at our high school. No safeties on that list! Which ones did you think were safe?

I’m so glad you’ve got some acceptances under your belt but I would not suggest this list for anyone!

93

" I was reluctant to post because I know people are going to debate the label “safety” for many of these or perhaps all of them."

Yup, no safeties on that list. But it doesn’t matter anymore. :smiley: <:-P

94

Yep, agree that there are no safeties here. A bunch of reaches and 50/50 schools.

And all mid-sized or larger. LACs that are serious about the dance program may have been better as they’d have to get enough good dancers while also keeping up their test scores, but larger schools can fill up with top dancers who will major in dance and get their high scorers elsewhere.

But congrats!

95

Yikes…that is a really top heavy list! But the good news is she has two great acceptances…both BC and Villanova are great schools. Assuming they are affordable, she IS going to college…someplace!

Congratulations!!

96

@3littlebirds, I’m thrilled that you guys have great choices. Bob Marley’s words here: Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live. :slight_smile:

Congratulations to you and your D!

97

Wow. Well, lesson for next year’s folks reading this thread. It’s not over til the fat lady sings. (i.e. don’t get your panties in a bunch until all the decisions have been made).

98

Congrats! 2 great options!

99

OP, I’m delighted to read of your daughter’s acceptance to BC! You and she can breath easy, and hopefully, the stress just went down 10-fold. :slight_smile: Everyone here is pulling for your D, and now she’s got a great choice!

I’m going to share my middle son’s list from 2015 and experience because I think it’s important to see what true “good bet”/safety schools are. I post this with a caveat that my son was homeschooled, so he did not have the pressure of attending a school where everyone thinks your kid will get into such-and-such school, or where people look down on “safeties”. Bleh to that, I say. My son was happy with his safeties, particularly UAH.

My son was a very creative artistic person with a lot of challenges (LDs, diabetes, hearing loss, vision disability, and so forth). His biggest activity and main essay were about cello. He did a ton with it including professional work at local theater companies, weddings, teaching, solos, etc. However, he didn’t want to be a music major (at the time). He had a few other activities such as robotics, bowling, church service, but cello was the main thing.

He also took several semesters of animation at the local community college as well as Java, and wanted to be a game designer by spring of senior year. He’d considered engineering, too, and actually applied to at least 8 different majors(!) including: animation, fine arts, computer game science, ICAM, industrial design, electrical engineering, mechanical engineering, metallurgic engineering, and game design. (Hint: he really didn’t know what he wanted).

He submitted a cello supplement to all schools that would take it, and a (weak) animation supplement to those schools where he was applying to fine arts, game design or animation.

He applied to 23(yep!) schools (my dad paid for those fees; thanks, dad!).

We are a high need family, and my son was a Pell Grant recipient that year. He was looking for money, for sure-one affordable school is what he cared about.

Stats in a nutshell at time of application: 3.95 u/w (3.82 by midyear)/4.41 w 2230 SAT; 730 SAT II: Math II, 710 Lit

Schools with RD admit rate that year (apx).

REACH

Stanford 5%
U Penn 7%
Dartmouth 9%
Vanderbilt 9%
UCLA 16%
WUSTL 16%
MIT 8%
Northeastern 28%
UCSD 33%
Cal Poly SLO 30%
SDSU 33%

MATCH

U Rochester 35%
UCI 35%

CSULB 35%
CSUF 35%
WPI 44%

SAFETY

Purdue 60%
UTD 52%
SJSU 65%
UAH 80%
Missouri S&T 80%
SDSMT 80%
UCCS 90%

He was accepted to 16/23 schools with three waitlists at UCLA, WUSTL, Cal Poly SLO. (Rejected at MIT, Vandy, Stanford and Dartmouth). His results were far better than we could have dreamed. Yes, there are things I would have changed in hindsight; I knew state schools out of the area would be unaffordable, so I probably would have cut down the list by about 5-7 schools (including Stanford and MIT, but his brother made him apply to MIT, ha!), but we thought it was worth a shot anyways.

Those are true safety schools as you can see, looking at the admit rates, though only 3 of them were true safety schools, Purdue, UTD and UAH, because we could afford those.

Regarding your dance supplement, I can say that at schools that have very strong dance programs, your supplement might have been considered a weakness in some ways. My son’s cello playing is very good, but at a place like Stanford, it’s very ordinary. They have world-class musicians applying. However, at a place where the music department is relatively weaker, say Penn, my son would be an asset. I believe this is one reason he got into Penn. His stats would have suggested he was “below average” for Penn students, but I believe his cello was a selling point there, and the fact that he applied to a lesser traveled major (Fine Arts).

There’s so much nuance to college applications (in case you can’t tell, I’m a college consultant, ha-ha, so studying stats and collecting information about college admissions is what I do), so please don’t second guess yourselves. You’ve got a win now, and one win is the golden ticket in my book. Celebrate! :slight_smile:

(PS. Sorry this was a novel)

100

What do you all mean when you say 50/50 school?