<p>Of course, the article does not mention that children born to young people who aren’t financially ready or emotionally ready can have really serious problems. (She only mentions, mostly anecdotally, the problems of children of older parents). </p>
<p>I would venture a guess that most of the prison population is made up of men who were born to younger mothers, not women in their 30’s, for example.</p>
<p>Best friend is last of four, born when her mom was older. And, it is the first 3 who had heart wrenching issues. (They are all fine, now, but there were years of family struggle.)</p>
<p>DH’s mom was 38 and had a young attitude. My kids invite me to parties (not to worry, if it’s at home, I may stop in and say hello, but don’t linger.)</p>
<p>Any woman past 30 who wants to become pregnant should be aware of the very real risks, should be having those talks with her doctor. People shouldn’t be first-informed by a media article like this.</p>
<p>@Zoozermom - I always longed to be a “caboose baby” in a big family. Instead I was the oldest, by design - I’m an adoptee and my parents thought it would be nice to have a “big sister” in the family. I hated being the oldest. Hated every single solitary thing about it - being expected to “set an example” and step up to the plate and take responsibility in every situation. Hated being the parental guinea pig where everything I did was a huge novelty and the result of a lot of anxiety and a lot of interfereing by my inexperienced parents (who were 30 and 31 when I was adopted - “older” first-time parents by early 60s standards.) I always wanted “broken-in” parents who knew the world wouldn’t come to an end if I made a mistake or moved beyond their direct line of influence. I wanted to be able to fly under the radar a little bit more and let them cut their teeth on someone else.
All that being said, I am grateful that my parents have enjoyed relatively good heath and have been around for me, my H and my Ss as an adult. My younger brother is an older first-time parent and my parents didn’t get to enjoy his kids the way they did mine. I guess nothing’s ever perfect.</p>
<p>Very interesting article. Thanks for posting the link.</p>
<p>H and I were 30 when we had our first D and 35 for the second D. Both were “medical miracles” at the time when using fertility treatment procedures. I continue to worry that the drugs I took to have them will someday hurt them. ugh…<br>
Anyway both are happy and well adjusted at this point but I hope they are able and willing to have children earlier than H and I. I want to spoil my grandkids and not be a burden on my kids.</p>
<p>The TNR article contained significant discussion of anxieties surrounding developmental and other health concerns of children born to older parents. I wonder, however, if the concern and all the expensive therapy, etc. is mostly for children born to affluent parents who are anxiously marking their child’s development and trying to ensure academic and economic competitiveness in a subculture that values and rewards high cognitive functioning. I’m sure there are many children with similar mild disabilities and developmental delays, born in humbler circumstances and to younger parents, who must make do with whatever free services are offered by the local county or school district. But they don’t get articles written about them.</p>
<p>
I never flew under the radar! They were older and crakier and less tolerant of noise. They noticed EVERYTHING, and I feel that I had the worst of it because my siblings all had siblings and I was alone in the house. To this day, they all have a sibling relationship with each other but not with me. WHy should they? We didn’t grow up together. So maybe the moral of the story is that if you have one kid who is a true outlier, you should be sensitive to potential difficulties.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t say 35 is old at all. I wouldn’t worry until the middle 40s and above, but that’s just me.</p>
<p>We were 40 and 38 when our youngest was born and we hadn’t planned on it. Despite us old farts, he is very healthy and has been a pleasure to raise. Bringing him to sports activities as well as coaching him kept me young. Most of the other dads were around ten years younger than me and had different interests. I felt we did a much better job raising him than our first child partly due to more maturity.</p>
<p>I adopted my daughter when she was almost 2 and I was almost 50. I am so grateful I did so; she is my heart and the accomplishment of my life (she’s a h.s. senior now).</p>
<p>I am extremely concerned about being active and coherent into her young adulthood at least. And I regret that it’s not likely that I will be the kind of grandparent that my mother would have been if she hadn’t developed a brain tumor at age 57, the kind of grandparent that her mother was to me and to my brothers. But I am pretty sure that I am a better mom to my kid than my mom was to me and that my grandmother was to my mom–were or would have been fabulous grandparents but mothers? maybe not so much.</p>
<p>Pluses and minuses for sure.</p>
<p>What’s most interesting to me is the new, at least to me, information that older fathers are risky too. I mean it’s so obvious I’m surprised it hasn’t become common knowledge. </p>
<p>But still it seems like information back when they realized its the sperm which determines the sex of the baby. </p>
<p>It’s probably a very important piece of information to have when making plams</p>
<p>I was 31 when I had my first and only child. The doctor called me a “older mom”. I told him I wasn’t THAT old! He said that I was older than most mothers so I was considered an older mom.</p>
<p>Did you know there is also concern mid-teens’ bodies aren’t ready for pregnancy and that some after effects are related to that? Ie, not just readiness for parenting. Not going to hunt down a link, but there is lots to worry about, all around.</p>
<p>My H was in his 40s when we married. He and I were the oldest in our Lamaze class. Our kids were healthy and fine. I was nearly 30 when S was born–D was born 2 years later. Our kids were cherished by my inlaws. Sadly both MIL and FIL died when they were fairly young. They did get to know my sis-in-law and BIL is still around in SF with his 2 kids. They are close to my folks who remain healthy in their 80s, as well as my sibs and the many cousins on my side, all of whom they grew up with in HI. </p>
<p>Am glad I waited to find H and have kids with him. I needed the finances and patience to deal with medical issues of mine and the kids that occurred down the road. We had the finances to get the care we needed and to pay for our kids’ private HS and college w/o loans. We are now comfortable with H’s retirement pension. No regrets. </p>
<p>It takes awhile to finish school, launch a career and figure out who you are before becoming someone’s spouse and becoming a parent. Having the finances in place that we did when the kids were born gave us the option of me staying home with our kids. I loved that luxury!</p>
<p>The things that were new to me in this article were</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>and</p>
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</p>
<p>or</p>
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</p>
<p>And I simply nodded my head at the discussions about how women often must choose between career and motherhood especially in the 20’s and 30’s, and how little work/gov’t support there is for doing that at that age. </p>
<p>The stuff about missing a lot of active grandparenthood or taking care of children and elderly parents at once I suppose we all thought about.</p>
<p>It was the possible birth defect stuff that was a bit frightening to me.</p>
<p>My H was 23 and I was 24 when our first child was born, second and last was 3 years later. We weren’t financially settled, but we did alright and they had tons of attention as I worked none to p/t while they were growing up. Two of their grandparents died relatively young (another before they were born), so I’m glad they got to know them before that (their cousins have little or no memories of the two.) </p>
<p>My D just got married at 30. She’s fairly certain to try to start a family soon, as she absolutely loved having “younger” parents :)</p>
<p>We got lucky, according to this article. I had my first child at 34+, and my twins at almost 41. Three healthy boys. I established a professional career first, then had my kids and took off much time to be around when they were growing up. My oldest is getting married next summer-he will be a few days short of his 29th birthday at that time, so I am guessing that he and our future DIL will be having kids while in their 30’s. I am expecting to be a first-time grandparent when I am in my late 60’s or so. Right now, DH and I are in great health, very active, and apparently look quite a bit younger than our actual chronological age. I hope we don’t embarrass the grandkids! ;)</p>
<p>As zoosermom’s posts note, “To each his/her own.” What works for one family doesn’t necessarily work for another.</p>
<p>The scariest parts are the mushrooming IVF industry which is very loosely regulated and the future consequences of women swallowing hormonal pills obtained from questionable sources like M&Ms.</p>
<p>Yes, the unregulated hormones women take is indeed scary. Glad I was able to conceive quickly and never needed and interventions for either kid, tho it did take longer to conceive younger child than older one.</p>
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<p>^ yes indeed.</p>
<p>I was born to a Mom of 37 and Dad almost 42…kinda old for 1962. My brother and sister were 7 and 10 years older than me.</p>
<p>My Dad died of heart disease at 53. All my grandparents were dead before I was 12.
Mother died when I was 43. My kids were 13 and 16.
Didn’t really notice much until I was a teenager that Mom was older than all my friend’s mothers. She always said I was not an “accident” but it was kinda hard to believe.</p>
<p>DH and I had S1 at 24 and 27 and S2 at 27 and 30. Based on my childhood experiences I didn’t want my kids to have older parents.</p>