<p>A friend just showed me this article, it’s a year old but I hadn’t seen it. Did a search here and didn’t see it, thought it might be of interest.</p>
<p>It was a little scary.</p>
<p>[How</a> Older Parenthood Will Upend American Society | New Republic](<a href=“http://www.newrepublic.com/article/politics/magazine/110861/how-older-parenthood-will-upend-american-society]How”>How Older Parenthood Will Upend American Society | The New Republic)</p>
<p>It is an interesting article. We were older parents and only had two kids. We already expected to have to work until H was pretty old to help our kids afford college, which is one of the reasons we only had two kids. </p>
<p>Many of the young adults we know are delaying settling with a romantic partner until they finish school and have a good job. That is taking quite a while for many if them. I wasn’t interested in getting into a serious relationship until I had finished all my schooling and had a good job as well. </p>
<p>Our nation does not have policies in place to help young parents, especially those aspiring to professional careers, like law, medicine, etc.</p>
<p>My kids have decided to wait until their mid-30s to have children, so this article is relevant and disturbing. Thanks for posting.</p>
<p>I’m not sure I buy all the author arguments (and boy, did she have them all). Very anecdotal and she conflates several issues into one. So, her friends have children on the spectrum and her friends are older. That just means her sample is rather limited. Plenty of women in their 20’s and early 30’s have children on the spectrum, but she didn’t see them because maybe she lives and socializes in a place/circle where moms tend to be older. </p>
<p>What the article misses is that previously women may have had their first child in their twenties but families were larger so many women had babies into their 40’s, certainly into their mid to late 30’s. Older parents are not a new thing, it’s first time older parents.</p>
<p>Yes, slackerMom, my mom had 6 kids, the last at age 41! She’s still hanging in there at 92.</p>
<p>I’m the last child of someone like SlackerMomMD mentions. First kids in 20s and me in the 40s. I am sooooooo not a fan of older parents. I swore I would never place that burden on my kids and I didn’t. Everyone, obviously, should make their own decisions, but having lived with all the ugly downsides for my entire life, this is something I would never do.</p>
<p>What are those ugly downsides you mention? I was turning 40 when my first and only was born. The article really resonates with me except we weren’t planning to have kids. We got lucky and so far our kid is doing great. It is not still clear to me that the difficulties are all due to late birth. Some difficuties may have been prevented with more involved parenting. Two working parents, both stressed out, may have missed early signs of disease that could have been prevented with an early intervention. Also some disease may have been avoided in a less stressed out home environment. I have one case example; When my kid was in kindergarten, we got friendly with two families. One as old as we the other were the average age parents who were going through divorce. They were a passionate couple so much in love at the beginning of their marriage that fell apart. Both families had a kid with reading difficulties. The older couple’s mom, a lawyer working from home, noticed it early on and got help. The youger couple took a while to intervene with all the diffuculites they were having. No one really knows what could’ve been if they intervened sooner or that the stressful home was more of a problem.</p>
<p>[How</a> Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby? - Jean Twenge - The Atlantic](<a href=“How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby? - The Atlantic”>How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby? - The Atlantic)</p>
<p>I am the oldest of quite a few kids my parents had. I had my children young. My parents have spent many happy hours with my kids, have enjoyed the weddings of two of them and are now getting ready to enjoy their great grandchild.</p>
<p>My sis though, who is the youngest, still has a five year old. My parents are two old to babysit for her or spend much quality time. They will certainly not be attending her wedding or getting to know her kids.</p>
<p>I so want to enjoy my grandchildren and be able to take them to Disney world. I’m glad I had my kids young. True. My career suffered, but I’m making up for it now and wouldn’t trade it for my grandkids for anything.</p>
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I would absolutely not speak for your family. I am sure you made the perfect decision for your situation.</p>
<p>My father, who was a wonderful man, came of age in the late 1930s, fought in WWII, Korea and Vietnam. I came of age in the middle 1980s and there was just too vast of a gulf between us for us to ever understand each other. Being much older, my parents both had seen and done pretty much everything and knew how to handle every situation, which meant that I had much less ability to make mistakes, different choices. It wasn’t because they were rigid or unwilling to listen, they were both very open, welcoming, non-judgmental people. My mom was planning “weddings” for gay couples long before they were legal and could lose the quotes! But they had made every mistake in the book and knew how things should be done. Also, they were both in extremely poor health from the time I was in my late teens. Neither smoked, drank or was ever overweight, but I have dealt with their poor health since before I was an adult. No one can ever promise you good health, no matter how good your habits or medical care. We also did not have a stressed home life. However, I probably wouldn’t have gotten married as early as I did because I was terrified that I was about to be abandoned if both parents died. I, as an individual human being, have always despised having older parents and it is the defining factor of my life. I would never, ever, ever have done that, but that has nothing to do with anyone else.</p>
<p>^^^^^My parents were very young when they had my brothers and me. My friends thought it was so cool that my parents would have parties where they rolled up the rug and danced to the Beatles with their other young friends. :D</p>
<p>Wow! This discussion makes me sad. I have 4 kids. My oldest I just dropped off at Columbia university last week. She is 16. I also have 3 little boys ages 8,6, and wait for it…8 months old! We did not plan this. I was 39 when we found out he was on the way, and 40 when he was born. My Mom was 36 when I came along. She was the best Mom ever! She’s now the best Grandma. My Dad just turned 80! He’s in amazing health. While advanced age can affect child rearing in some cases, it certainly should not be applied across the board as a negative factor for all. Bad, lazy, unhealthy parents, come from all generations.</p>
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My parents were not bad or lazy. They were unhealthy due to no fault of their own. They never, in their wildest dreams, expected to be so unhealthy because all of thehir parents, save one, lived well and productively into their 90s.</p>
<p>^^^And my Mom had her first stroke at 48, many after that, became wheelchair-bound and died at 69. Yeah, you never know how things are going to turn out.</p>
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<p>I apologize for grouping those ideas all together. In clarification, having a more ideal upbringing is not more likely if the parents are young. Poor health can strike all generations. The other factors I listed no one generation has a lock on either.</p>
<p>Don’t let this discussion make you sad TVenee! I did not have a problem with my ‘old’ mom. Well, not because of her age. I had plenty of issues with her but they were not age related. I never met my grandparents, but 3 of them had died in the 1920’s and 1930’s, long before my parents even were married.</p>
<p>I truly believe that we all do the very best we can and each of us has to make that decision based on personal circumstances. Not everyone is able to begin their family younger, and some older parents are much more stable. I have a great friend who became a father at 49 for the first time and he is the hippest father I know. No kids could ask for a better situation, and he had planned wisely so that he can pay cash for the kids’ education and he will retire when they are in high school to spend time with them. I think they will all say their situation is ideal. And it is for them.</p>
<p>My husband is almost nine years older than I am. He was 44 when our youngest was born. People quite often think that he is YOUNGER than I am! He’s in amazing shape at 59. We waited six years to have kids after we were married, and I wouldn’t change anything.</p>
<p>My parents are 74 and 75 - my dad is still teaching and supervising graduate engineering students. They have traveled all over the world, just this year (Australia, South Africa, China, etc.). On the other hand, I have friends in their early sixties who are couch potatoes!</p>
<p>When my wife was diagnosed with cancer at 31, the best thing is that we already had all the kids we were planning to have. The second best thing was that our parents were young enough to help out during those chemo months.</p>
<p>My kids have good memories of all four grandparents as healthy, active adults.</p>
<p>I was at a class the other night and sat with a woman who married in her very late 30’s and had her kids at 40 and 43. I have another friend who did the same (and is now long divorced and a single parent). I also married later and was older when I had my kids. Cannot fathom having done it any other way, and have no regrets, other than that I’ll be a bit old when I eventually have grandkids. But I’m currently in pretty good shape and hope I’ll be able to keep up with them.</p>
<p>Yes there are greater risks of issues with advanced maternal age, and also with older fathers (research is suggesting a correlation with increased risks of Autism, schizophrenia and other diagnoses in children of older fathers). But, had I married younger and potentially to the wrong person, there could have been other issues to deal with. There are no guarantees in life.</p>