<p>And are males more likely to get emotionally attached to someone faster, or females more likely to get emotionally attached to someone faster?</p>
<p>I’m just wondering… I notice that a lot of people are really reserved at first, but then warm up later. As for me, if i think someone’s similar to me (or even merely friendly towards me), I get emotionally attached to that person almost instantly (and I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but no friends outside of college confidential).</p>
<p>I’ve had the nasty tendency to send a really intimate e-mail just upon MEETING someone…</p>
<p>Females usually get attached faster. I am of the ‘reserved at first, then warm up’ camp personally. I’ve been hurt, so I choose not to trust a person until they’ve proven they are trustworthy (there’s no specific thing they have to do, I just have to feel comfortable). It makes perfect sense that you try to get close to people quickly when you don’t have many people you can depend on - you’re searching for companionship. Just make sure you’re not pushing people away because of your efforts to draw them in.</p>
<p>And don’t younger people get attracted faster? What about people who are suddenly thrown in a new environment? (for example, freshmen at college?)</p>
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<p>For both romantic and non-romantic relationships? Or are males likely to get romantically attached faster, and females non-romantically attached faster?</p>
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<p>Hmm - could that affect how quickly one bonds?</p>
<p>==</p>
<p>Could it depend on who INITIATES contact most of the time? (the one who initiates contact being more likely to get emotionally attracted to someone - even before contact?)</p>
<p>From what I know about psychology:
Younger people do get attached faster.
Females get attached faster in both romantic and non-romantic relationships.
Being thrown into a new environment like college, you are around specific people a lot more and are looking for friends, and this speeds up the entire process.
Having been hurt affects how quickly you LET yourself feel bonded.</p>
<p>I don’t get attached quickly to just anybody… but I got very very attached to my ex after only knowing him a couple weeks. It took a while for him though.</p>
<p>Hm - aren’t males likely to fall in love faster though? After all - they’re the ones who have to compete with each other - whereas the females get to select from them all. </p>
<p>====</p>
<p>And what about becoming dis-attached to someone? (after learning something disturbing you found about someone - or realizing that the person is changing too much for comfort?)</p>
<p>And what about becoming dis-attached to someone? (after learning something disturbing you found about someone - or realizing that the person is changing too much for comfort?)</p>
<p>Um - I’m talking about RELATIVE RATES of attraction/dis-attraction.</p>
<p>There is a way to model this via nonlinear dynamics, but one has to set up initial conditions and boundary conditions. The male/female distinction is part of the initial conditions.</p>
<p>==
Also by “attraction” I’m sort of speaking about the amount of time you need to get to know someone before you’re able to say, directly send that person an e-mail of an intimate nature (this is a direct e-mail, not a blog - where not as much “attraction” is needed to send that person anything)</p>
<p>20 minutes…***…why is time passing so fast?</p>
<p>anyways - the reason why I’m asking this is that some amount of emotional attachment is necessary for some interactions (like sending intimate e-mails). So I’d like to have a general idea bout when those interactions could take place. And it wuld be preferably if attachment wasn’t involved - because I have been emotionally attached to someone before and getting out of that took months and was very painful</p>
<p>and anyhow - what are the cues that someone displays when he intends on continuing a mere friendship with you? (as opposed to a mere acquaintance?)</p>
<p>and just how can you tell that someone is emotionally attracted to you?</p>
<p>(this seems like game theory in a sense - both parties may wish not to disclose some information - otherwise there wouldn’t be an issue at all with this)</p>
<p>The thing is, this isn’t game theory or mathematical equations or fact memorizing. Relationships don’t have a set formula. It’s trial and error, and as much as you may want it there’s no other way.</p>
<p>When I was back in high school, where I didn’t have my first kiss until my senior year and felt left out because all my friend had boyfriends it didn’t take me that long to get emotionally attached to someone. I use to be really really clingy because I was excited by the mere thought of an opposite sex being attracted to me. Well, now I’m a sophmore in college and I don’t get emotionally attached easily as matter of fact guys tend to get more emotionally with me *not trying to sound conceited. I realized that after being rejected alot you can’t take it personally, and don’t get too emotionally attached until the guy has gotten to know you more. Overall, it takes me a while to develop that emotional attachment.</p>
<p>I have 2 teenage daughters and it was their first boyfrineds who said I love you first. I can remeber them coming home and satelling me and I asked them what they felt. They both felt scared and surprised that the bfs said it so soon. Neither were sure they were in love/</p>