How rewarding is super high risk?

College Essays
1

<p>Hi everyone I’m having some problems with my essay. I’ve put some very critical remarks inside, but my friends say that I should be very careful…</p>

<p>For example,</p>

<p>“Recently, when I commented to my friend on how he was wasting paper by printing single-sided, he astounded me with a curt “I don’t care, I’m not an environmentalist.” The reply shocked me to the core, and I had a very strong urge to punch him in the face, but peace is so much more desirable than violence.”</p>

<p>Will that hurt me or help me?</p>

2

<p>Well, it makes you sound angry and judgmental. What would be better is if you described that incident (up to the line, The reply shocked me to the core.") and then went on to tell about how it inspired you to set up an environmental awareness program at your school or in your community or do something to teach others about the need for conservation. If all you did was get ticked off, then why mention it? If, on the other hand, the incident can be used to show YOUR growth and awareness and action, then you should highlight that.</p>

3

<p>yeah my friend did say i sound kinda out-of-nowhere rude.</p>

<p>will amend it. thank you!</p>

4

<p>incidentally, if i write one essay regarding environmentalism and another regarding community service, am i hurting myself? I’m concerned that both of 'em are issues regarding helping the world and all that and may be too similar?</p>