Hello. I’m a freshman in high school and I’m really scared about college. I’m mostly scared about how I’m going to pay for it. My parents are divorced and currently my mother takes care of me. I have 2 other siblings about to go to college as well. I currently attend a private school which also costs a lot of money. Now, my problem. My mother works so hard to pay for private school and to be able to afford things for us and she said he will try to pay as much as she can for college. My dad has a college fund set up for us but he has basically enough to feed us in college and I’m not sure if he will add to the fund. My father makes much more money than my mother and could probably easily pay for college but he doesn’t. He wants us to go to college yet he doesn’t seem willing to help pay for some of it. I told my mother I’m willing to take out loans so I can go to college but she doesn’t want that. I’m just really confused and I don’t know what to do.
If your family can afford to pay for expensive private school, then your family can afford to pay for college.
It’s only my mother paying for it and she has to pay for 3 kids.
I’d be very surprised if the in-state tuition at your flagship public university costs more than the tuition at your *“private school which also costs a lot of money”. *
If you’re really that worried about finances, then go to public high school and save the money for college. It all a matter of priorities.
How much is the private school tuition for ONE child? When each child graduates, can your mom put that amount towards that child’s college?
One issue may be child support. Mom may be using child support money from dad to pay for high school…and that ends when child is 18.
@MaelstromMonkey the COA of a flagship could easily be more than a private school. My kids went to private K-12 and their annual cost was less than flagship COA.
@nicknick You’re going to need to talk to each parent about college plans/payment. There may be something in the divorce.
When does the oldest child go to college?
What is your home state?
IF you get top grades and get strong test scores, you can also find schools that will give you merit awards towards college costs.
You are a smart kid for thinking about this right now. It is somewhat common for parents to be vague about what they will pay for college—but it is a red flag in my experience. The parents I know who are vague about committing certain dollar amounts or about discussing the actual logistics of paying for college every year are parents who really don’t understand what it will cost and they usually don’t know how they are going to do it.
Since you are thinking ahead on this, you have time to come up with a plan. I would do the following:
- Sit down with your mom in a moment when she is calm and not overly exhausted from work. Make sure you approach her in a way that is non-confrontational and more in a way of you are trying to sit and plan and want to make sure you have options.
- Calculate your EFC and run the Net Price Calculators that are found on college websites of a few schools you feel you may be interested. I would include a state school and some private schools.
- If you can include your Dad on the discussion then great. If not, take notes and then have a separate meeting with your Dad.
- Since the adults around you are being vague and not putting together a plan, YOU put together your own plan that you can implement no matter what==> work hard in school, get a great GPA and starting sophomore year start preparing for the ACT and SAT. You don't need a thousand dollar prep class to do it either. You can read through the test prep sections here on CC and find lots of ideas on how to approach your prep.
- Read about schools that give good merit aid scholarships based on stats. Print the list, take some time to explore the schools online, etc.
- Private school- is switching to public school an option for you and your siblings? We know nothing about where you live and nothing about your neighborhood. But switching to public schools if they are an option is a great way to de-stress the family and to save a lot of $$.
@MaelstromMonkey the vast majority of private schools in my state cost way less than our state flagship.
In our town the top private schools (and even the parochial ones) are as much or more per semester than tuition only for most state universities, especially the directional ones. But this is irrelevant if in fact, as mentioned above, the mom is using child support to cover the private school in whole or part and won’t have that money for college.
What do your college counselors say? What colleges recruit kids from your school and provide students good merit aid? Usually very good private schools have feeders. While lots of private school kids have ample dollars for college, there are those at the school on scholarships who need the same for college. What colleges are ones where you could live at home and attend?
You need to have this conversation with your parents. Both of them.
What WILL mom be able to contribute? If she isn’t paying for your private school, then perhaps those funds can be allocated for college costs.
What WILL your dad pay? Find that out.
For schools using only the fafsa, you will only list the parent with whom you reside greater than 50% of the time for the year prior to your filing date. Child and spousal support need to be listed as well.
For schools requiring the CSS Profile, you most likely will complete the Profile, and then your non-custodial parent will complete the non-custodial parent Profile.
As a 9th grader…do the best you can tomget thr best grades possible…and then the best ACT or SAT possible in your late junior year. These numbers could place you in a good position for merit aid where it is offered…at some schools…and this merit aid is not income dependent.