<p>Hey, I am a freshmen in college. I got accepted into a few universities, but I only wanted to go to one; it was a large public university where most of my friends were going. There was another religious private university that I applied to just in case I get rejected from the others. Even though the large public college was in my city and cost less than the private university, my parents still made me go to the private religious college because they said the class sizes were much smaller for me and the teachers would be better. </p>
<p>My parents ended up making me go the the private college, and I dislike it here. Its even more religious than I thought, the campus is too small, I hate the gym and the meals are terrible. It has also been hard for me to make friends here. I know much of this is my fault, but I still don’t like this college nor really feel like I fit in. I asked my parents if I could transfer, but they said that I could not, and said it would be more prestigious for me to get a degree here than at a public university. They also said I would do poorly in the larger class sizes. </p>
<p>How to accept going to this college for the next 4 years, and stop holding some grudges against my parents for sending me here? Thoughts?</p>
<p>If you have no choice, your best bet will be to accept your situation, adjust your attitude and do the best you can in your classes. The other choice is to make a stronger case for your choice. However, I would need to know the schools involved to be able to help you.</p>
<p>Well it sounds like you have no other choice. I think you just need to look at what you can do to improve your situation. Keep yourself busy. You could always tough it out for another semester and then talk to your parents again about transferring. </p>
<p>Well… there is the nuclear option. Withdraw at the end of the semester or year, and tell your parents you are not planning to go back to that college. They may back down and agree to fund another option, and you could reapply to a state university. Or they may not… and you could be stuck not going to college at all.</p>
<p>If you stay, can you go off campus junior year somehow? Abroad or to a program at another college/in another city?</p>
<p>Also, following up on @intparent’s study abroad line of thought, does the religious private school you are at have any combined degree programs or guaranteed transfer programs that would let you finish at a different university? Maybe not the public one you really wanted to attend, but perhaps a different one that you would like more than your current situation and that would satisfy your parent’s expectations. Ask the college what’s available.</p>
<p>It sounds like your quality of life is poor. Have you asked about transferring? Can you move off-campus, make your own food, and go to another gym?</p>
<p>channel your hatred, graduate in 3 years, then eventually become rich enough to purchase that university, level it, and turn it into a satanist temple</p>
<p>It looks like if your parents are paying, then they have also exercised their privilege to decide what they will pay for- and that is the college you are at. </p>
<p>Basically, resentment hurts the person with the resentment. You will give up your resentment when you realize that the person it is hurting the most is you.</p>
<p>There are many ways this can play out for the next 3 years. You can decide that you are fortunate to have the chance to go to a decent college, make the most of it, get the best grades you can, get a job where you are supporting yourself and then you can make the decisions you want. You could rebel against your family, refuse to go, do poorly- all jeopardizing your chance at real independence- a college degree or a job.</p>
<p>You can try to make friends or tell yourself that people who believe something that you don’t aren’t worth being friends with. One gives you a chance at having friends, the other assures you that you won’t have friends. </p>
<p>Basically, you can decide to make the most of this or not and that decision is yours to make. </p>
<p>It all has to do with perspective. Just change the way you view your situation (focus on all that you are blessed with; things like the opportunity to even attend school, a privilege that many are denied, the opportunity to grow to be your own person without heavy burdens like a family to provide for or a full time job to hold down, etc) – instead of focusing on everything that you dislike about your situation. </p>
<p>I would imagine the vast majority of students are not at their “first choice” school for any number of reasons–didn’t get in, location, major, $$$$ etc. You are not alone. That said, your parents seem pretty convinced this ‘religious’ school is the best place for you. Give it a year. Do your best. Try to make a couple of friends (you don’t need tons). Meanwhile, keep your options open. If you were to transfer, would it be to the large public university you referenced? Or somewhere else? Figure out what deadlines / requirements for Fall 2015 transfer are - and decide as you get closer if you want to throw your hat in that ring for potential transfer. If it’s still the big public university, are your friends happy there? Is it close enough that you can go and visit for a weekend? Good luck- </p>