<p>One more thing about being cool when kids are young-- </p>
<p>You know how there are the certain “cool” things to wear that all the kids want to have; maybe one year it is the certain shoes, another year it’s the certain jeans… </p>
<p>I remember, when I was a kid, being so frustrated that my Mom did not “get” this. I am certainly not one of those very indulgent moms who buys kids whatever they want, but I definitely make sure they have those key “cool” items. One year it was denim overalls from the Gap and I bought a pair for my D’s best friend, too, since her parents wouldn’t (got permission from her friend’s Mom.) </p>
<p>Maybe part of being “cool” is remembering what we wished our own parents would have understood, would have done, etc-- and remembering to do that.</p>
<p>SBmom, I totally agree with this. When I was a child, my parents were quite “old” by the standards of the day. My mom NEVER got it about those things. Even though we have six kids and cannot always afford the “in” things, I search high and low for incredible sales and try to make sure that my kids fit in. They very much appreciate it.</p>
<p>The trick is to create that fine line between being curious, but not looking curious…I will hear conversations, and have to bite my tongue to not put in my two cents</p>
<p>Also, picking them up at the movies at 1130 and dropping them all to seperate homes ups the cool quotient. My husband is the cute dad, but he’s a bit of a nerd when it comes to my Ds friends. Just doesn’t get teenage girls. </p>
<p>Oh yeah, I am cool because I let my D’s paint their room whatever color they want…thank goodness neither wanted it all black!!!</p>
<p>Hahhahha, Momsdream! We have an understanding with our neighbors, and I think it’s because we’re all in parenting Hell together. Maybe, the old folks in our neighborhood are all traumatized and remember what it was like to have teenagers at home because the police don’t get called. We all just suffer together. We put up with skateboarders, basketball practice, and blow-out birthday parties. They put up with my S’s garage band practice every weekend, and the occasional man-child running down the street with his pillowcase and guitar. That’s always fun. </p>
<p>Lately, S has been practicing an African drum at 10:30 at night. The first time I woke up to that, I could not figure out why I was hearing tribal drumming coming from somewhere in the neighborhood. I was somewhat horrified to find out that it was coming out of my own house!</p>
<p>I don’t know if we’re considered “cool” or just the village idiots by the teens in our neighborhood. We’ve known most of them since they were in First Grade, and we’ve never ratted them out to their parents for minor-league, questionable activities…like TP’ing the swim coach’s house, or making out against the lockers in front of 500 parents on registration day at the h/s. We figured somebody else would probably mention it to the parents. </p>
<p>I do get teenagers at my door every now and then asking for help with various problems…how to get a dog’s head unstuck from a wooden fence, can they borrow some jumper cables, and is it possible that the flu could turn into Toxic Shock Syndrome? Must be the plastic flamingos and the lawn gnome, not to mention the abnormally high population of squirrels in our yard, that give others the impression that we’re uncool enough to share their misery! :)</p>
<p>A quick update-
We are still on our family vacation, but I am off the slopes, doing laundry and on the computer because younger s. broke his collarbone yesterday afternoon! :(</p>
<p>Ironically, everything had gone PERFECTLY until the last of older s’s friends left yesterday afternoon. Then, we got stuck on the chairlift for about 20’, got caught in a fast-moving storm at the top of the mountain that got us all separated and older s. ended up outside the ski boundaries for a while. Finally, on that infamous last run of the day, younger s. caught an edge on his snowboard and went flying head first, landing on his shoulder. Was wearing his helmet and wrist guards, unfortunately of little use for his shoulder.</p>
<p>As for the “coolness” factor, I think we did O.K. Older s. had 2 friends with us for 4 days, and 2 for a day and a half. It couldn’t have gone better-- a great group of kids who all seemed to have a great time. Ironically, the only time I might have possibly been a tad pushy was trying to get them to eat/take all the FOOD we bought!! :eek: They did do a good job polishing off a 4 lb lasagna, and the choc. chip cookies did disappear quickly (partly my fault, I think!) </p>
<p>It did help that I packed a lot of extra stuff, as I typically do. Came in handy when one of the kids forgot his ski jacket (I had an extra) and preferred our ski gloves to his. Another needed some extra layers of warmth (neck gators, etc). No problem. They even asked my advice for some pointers on skiing!</p>
<p>We took the 2 “starving students” out to dinner one night. I guess it left them with enough discretionary cash that they treated themselves to massages the next night!! Wow. Things have changed since my days as a student on a limited budget.</p>
<p>So, all in all, a successful vacation. However, we have 2 days left. Hopefully older s. and DH will not overdo it on the slopes today…</p>
<p>ohnoes-
I am glad I don’t usually need to make the choices you describe. Maybe if we parents try to be too “cool”, you should pop us upside the head. Fortunately, in the situation that led to the start of this thread, “cool” meant “able to walk that fine line between being caring, supportive parents who enjoy spending time with our kids and their friends- without embarassing them in the process”… but that didn’t seem to make a good title for a thread :)</p>
<p>Older s. is home for only 2 weeks, between his return from his camp counselor job and his return to college. He was one of the few who had a car at camp (he was dubbed “soccer mom” as he was driving my old minivan). When camp ended he promptly offered to provide transportation to airports for several counselors. He asked if he could bring “a few” counselors home to enjoy the city for a couple of days. “A few” started out as 4, then grew to 6. Saturday, 3 cars arrived, with 12 counselors. Two more came over later that night. Being of the heritage that believes that there is no such thing as too much food, I had plenty to feed the masses (even planning originally for only 6). We had backpacks, duffels, hiking boots and dirty laundry everywhere. The washer and dryer have been running nonstop for 2 days. We’ve opened every bed/sofabed we have. There were bodies, sleeping bags and towels everywhere the first night. The bathrooms and hot showers were particularly popular. The “hot off the rack” Krispy Kreme donuts were a close second in popularity. Oh yeah, our younger s. also returned home from TIP that same day, with his duffel full of dirty laundry.</p>
<p>The crowd has slowly dissipated as we’ve shuttled people to the busstop and airport. The 2 carloads left yesterday. We are down to 6, who are currently out touring the town with my s. Many of the counselors are international. I’ve loved the accents from England, Australia, New Zealand and Tazmania. </p>
<p>While this experience could lose its charm if it lingers into a second week, I must admit that I am truly loving the crowd for these few days. I always wanted to have the “hang out” house, but because the boys were in private school, kids lived all over the place and our house was GU (geograpically undesirable). It has been a true pleasure to have this crowd here, and I can only hope and assume that if the tables were turned, some other parent on the other side of the world would have done the same and opened their home. As the opportunities to spend time with a college-aged child grow smaller and smaller, these memories are cherished. But boy can they generate a lot of trash…</p>
<p>SBmom-
Thanks. I needed that. We turned the A/C down to 72 degrees because between the constant running of the washer/dryer, the bodies and the oven, it was pretty hot around here. Can’t wait to see the utility bill :eek: </p>
<p>But, looking back on this thread, I am reminded that you hosted THIRTY of your d’s nearest and dearest friends for her 18th birthday! This crowd also left their shoes at the door- they then started sliding across the hardwood floor like Tom Cruise in “Risky Business”. Very entertaining.
<em>edit</em>
I am in awe of your hosting 30-- I am just so tired I forgot to mention it :)</p>
<p>I also think you are a coolmom. I only hosted 6 of my S’s chums for lunch. They more or less cleaned out our fridge. I don’t know what I would have done about feeding them if they had stayed longer. But it was great seeing how much they enjoyed one another’s company. Most had known the others for three summers.</p>
<p>Thanks Marite-
I always value your opinion. Yes, it has been interesting to watch them interact, download camp photos from their cameras and make CD’s for each other (though there is some formatting difference for different regions of the world that slowed things down at one point, I believe).</p>
<p>First night we splurged and threw steaks on the grill. Thank heavens for Sam’s and Costco-- bought gigundo packages of stuff. Made fruit salad, garlic toast, regular salad, corn-- easy to do in bulk. Food did just seem to disappear. Stuff I’d baked (brownies, banana bread-- my son’s favorite–) seemed to sprout legs…</p>
<p>Did you know that You can buy a 2 lb pkg of presliced, pre-organized sub sandwich meat from Oscar Meyer? That, a couple of packages of cheese and sub sandwich rolls handled lunch (though many were still eating the donuts and croissants from breakfast). Chinese food was dinner last night. Not sure what they did for breakfast today-- I was at work.</p>
<p>I learned from you wise parents on CC that as long as the food was plentiful, the rest would fall into place. As always, you were right.</p>
<p>Update-
The crew just returned from the laser show–Six left from here earlier today, but 10 of them just streamed into the house. I think they are multiplying! Alas, they are all finalizing their travel plans for the morning (one has a 6:30am flight). Ahh-- the house will be up rather early, but nice and quiet tomorrow night…</p>
<p>My parents have always been the cool parents, simply because they’re the parents that don’t try to be cool. They’re normal, which is what most kids want.</p>
<p>SBmom-
No kidding. Grocery bill has been climbing. But it provided great memories for all of us. Money can’t buy that, eh?</p>
<p>Last night the guys gave me 2 bottles of Australian wine and a card signed by all still here as a thank you. That was so sweet. I was then up til almost 3 helping a few of them with travel/hotel plans (my favorite pasttime is finding deals on the web). We are down to 4 (I think- they’re all asleep) who will be leaving later today. </p>
<p>And yes, Beginning, you ar right. Normal, supportive, kind, interested, fun, caring parents is what you’ll find here in the parents forum. </p>
<p>Oh-- we forgot to turn the A/C back up-- it was like a refrigerator in here. I guess that officially made us “cool” parents ;)</p>
LOL! Part of being “cool parents” is having “cool kids.” Cool kids have friends that enjoy being with them, want to prolong being together and come home with them and meet their parents. I’ll bet your S’s friends think he’s cool, too.</p>
We have an understanding with our neighbors, and I think it’s because we’re all in parenting Hell together. Maybe, the old folks in our neighborhood are all traumatized and remember what it was like to have teenagers at home because the police don’t get called. We all just suffer together. We put up with skateboarders, basketball practice, and blow-out birthday parties. They put up with my S’s garage band practice every weekend, and the occasional man-child running down the street with his pillowcase and guitar. That’s always fun. </p>
</p>