how to "beautify" my college application?

Applying to College
1

hey peeps,
I don’t have fancy transcript as most of yall here…
My fatal area is athletics and community involvement.
…
so far my transcript:
4.0 GPA or 4.85 GPA…and around 1900~2000 SAT…I’m a Junior Marshal, key club member and it club vice president… and that’s it…(T_T)

But,
see, I was just a farm boy from the coast of China. Moved here when I was 12 to chase my AMERICAN DREAM.
my family is impecunious. so I’ve began working since I was 13… and I’ve worked every weekend during school years, and every day during summer.

And,
I honestly don’t expect myself to do any better than a public university.
I won’t have time to perfect community or school involvement and certainly not sport… Utilizing all time working to pay off debts.

So
how CAN I use my LIFE story to get into UNC Chapel hill with scholarships? or any public universities with scholarships?

I’m first generation college kid…
y’all think a KILLER essay on AMERICAN DREAM will carry ME to achieve my goal?

2

Well the immigration essay is overused, but working everyday is a fantastic EC.

Are you instate for UNC? OOS is extremely hard to get into as I think UNC has quotas for OOS students.

3

also… if I want to major in CHEMISTRY
should I take SAT SUBJECT TEST?
i took the AP Chem…
how is subject test differ from ap test

4

I’m instate
I understand that AMERICAN DREAM is overused. but hey thats all I got…a poor boy’s only leverage

5

wait also…i worked for actual pay… not good ol’ charity-type of work

6

You work will be valued the same as an EC so no worries on that part.

7

how to proof to them that I’ve worked…i’ve worked in Chinese restaurant, from dish washing to now cashier and delivering

8

What do you mean you don’t expect to do better than a public university? UCLA and UNC-Chapel Hill are both public and are both extremely prestigious. And there are also private schools like Drexel that aren’t as prestigious as those schools. So could you clarify that statement?

9

Oh sorry for the confusion, I meant after browsing this forum, I don’t ever see myself in a top notch ivy schools. Please disregard me if I sounded arrogant… I fully understand the prestigious-ness of UNC Chapel hill and UCLA.

10

You don’t have to prove you worked… you just state that you did.
Generally scholarships are for financial need or for merit which is based on GPA/SATs.

11

Instead of the “immigrant” story, how about what it is like to work to help support your family while your classmates are able to go to games and dates, etc? A twist on the story?

Also, no SAT words in your essay (impecunious:)

12

@HRSMom great suggestion! Although I can’t take the credit, I merely helped my family, I didn’t support them. Haha, just out of blue and used that word. And great reminder, gotta make my essay personal

13

The best way to beautify your essay is to make sure an English speaker look at it for grammar and syntax. Even a killer essay should be colloquial and grammatical.

14

@bopper thanks! And do you think base on my gpa (I’m taking 7APS for mu senior year, so great potential to increase) and sat score I will get full ride?

15

@qialah LOL you is right. Don’t worry, now aint no serious time. Just some quick typin without consideration

16

LOL. Just remember that you are doing this one time and the ad-coms have seen literally hundreds of apps from Chinese kids who immigrated at age 12. Don’t spin yourself as the “farm boy from coastal China” if that’s not really true.

17

Practice for that SAT. Take it more than once. Get those scores up so you qualify for all the scholarship and merit money you can. And, if you aren’t a pre-professional major (business, engineering, nursing), check out some LACs in the midwest and south where you would be a URM. And look at the honors colleges at your state schools - those programs are often hidden treasures bringing together the best and brightest from a state.